Mountain

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{{Q|I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good|Generic prophet on the mountain}}
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{{Q|I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good.|Generic prophet on the mountain}}
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{{Q|First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain.|[[Donovan]] on the mountain, then not on the mountain}}
   
 
[[Image:Colorful mountains.PNG|thumb|right|999px|Mountains are a colorful geological feature on the Earths surface]]
 
[[Image:Colorful mountains.PNG|thumb|right|999px|Mountains are a colorful geological feature on the Earths surface]]
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In [[geology]], a '''mountain''' is a large man made bump on the [[Earth|Earth's]] surface, not to be confused with a mere wussy [[hill]].
 
In [[geology]], a '''mountain''' is a large man made bump on the [[Earth|Earth's]] surface, not to be confused with a mere wussy [[hill]].
   
If one manages to tip a mountain on its side, the mountain produces one [[red mana]]. This isn't easy however, as mountains are sometimes a little bit heavy.
+
If one manages to tip a mountain on its side, the mountain produces one [[magick|red mana]]. This isn't easy however, as mountains are sometimes a little bit heavy.
   
 
==Origins==
 
==Origins==
 
Mountains were made by women with constant periods to make our lives harder. Also they're pretty to look at.
 
Mountains were made by women with constant periods to make our lives harder. Also they're pretty to look at.
   
They were created especially for the film [[Vertical limit]].
+
They were created especially for the film ''Vertical Limit''.
   
 
==Nomenclature==
 
==Nomenclature==
A potential mountain actually receives a name and official mountain status whenever at least two-thirds of the members of one major [[Jim Bridger | mountaineering expedition]] suffer horrible [[death]]s in attempting to scale it. Since [[mountaineer]]s prefer to climb official mountains only, this presents something of a [[Catch-22]] [[paradox]]. It therefore follows that mountains, in fact, do not exist, and are only the products of the deranged [[imagination]]s of geologists. Sometimes people with cute lips are often misjudged as a capricorn due to the redness of ones eye. If symptoms persist contact your local pharmacist.
+
A potential mountain actually receives a name and official mountain status whenever at least two-thirds of the members of one major [[Jim Bridger | mountaineering expedition]] suffer horrible [[death]]s in attempting to scale it. Since mountaineers prefer to climb official mountains only, this presents something of a [[Catch-22]] [[paradox]]. It therefore follows that mountains, in fact, do not exist, and are only the products of the deranged [[imagination]]s of geologists.
   
  +
Sometimes mountaineers with cute lips are often misjudged as [[goat|Capricorn]]s due to the [[Red eye|redness of their eyes]]. If symptoms persist, contact your local pharmacist.
   
The [[Romans]] reopened the industry of mountain making when they constructed Mt [[Everest]] in their great conquest. They built it by sacrificing [[kittens]] until Jupiter got mad at them and threw the Indian subcontinent at the Roman army's Alexander brigade. No one climbed it for several hundred years until Tiberias Gracchus learned the secret of chewing coca leaves from
+
Columbian mountain climbers, who used the plant to get stoned enough to climb the rocky mountains. He tried to redistribute the mountain's north slope to Roman army veterans who lost their land betting on [[kitten]] races, and got eaten by the Roman Senate. Incredibly, [[Mt. Everest]], was the highest mountain even before it was discovered as the highest mountain.
+
The [[Romans]] reopened the industry of mountain making when they constructed Mt [[Everest]] in their great conquest. They built it by sacrificing [[kittens]] until Jupiter got mad at them and threw the Indian subcontinent at the Roman army's Alexander brigade. No one climbed it for several hundred years until Tiberias Gracchus learned the secret of chewing coca leaves from Columbian mountain climbers, who used the plant to get stoned enough to climb the rocky mountains. He tried to redistribute the mountain's north slope to Roman army veterans who lost their land betting on [[kitten]] races, and got eaten by the Roman Senate. Incredibly, [[Mt. Everest]], was the highest mountain even before it was discovered as the highest mountain.
   
 
==3D Models of Mountains==
 
==3D Models of Mountains==
 
It is an interesting and well-proven fact that it is impossible to create a computerised 3D model of a mountain. According to [[Einstein]]'s theory of relativity, it's impossible. The 3rd Law of thermodynamics is that you cannot model 3D mountains. It's also the first rule in [[Fight Club]], the 12th step of the alcoholics anonymous program, and Dracula's last words.
 
It is an interesting and well-proven fact that it is impossible to create a computerised 3D model of a mountain. According to [[Einstein]]'s theory of relativity, it's impossible. The 3rd Law of thermodynamics is that you cannot model 3D mountains. It's also the first rule in [[Fight Club]], the 12th step of the alcoholics anonymous program, and Dracula's last words.
   
[[Niel Armstrong]] once said, "One small step for man, and you can't make 3D models of a mountain". There's only one recorded occurrence of an advanced [[alien civilization]] contacting earth, and the transmission was roughly deciphered "We still can't make 3D models of mountains"
+
[[Neil Armstrong]] once said, "One small step for man, and you can't make 3D models of a mountain". There's only one recorded occurrence of an advanced alien civilization contacting Earth, and the transmission was roughly deciphered as "We still can't make 3D models of mountains!".
   
 
The precise Oxford Dictionary defines "Mountain" as: (n) Object of which 3D models cannot be made."
 
The precise Oxford Dictionary defines "Mountain" as: (n) Object of which 3D models cannot be made."
The Encyclopedia Britannica adds: "(They're too big)."
+
The Encyclopedia Britannica adds (in an obscure footnote): "(They're too fucking big.)"
   
Ancient Mayans tried to make 3D models of mountains to re-shape their temples with, as theirs looked too "pixelated". They failed, got frustrated, and predicted the end of the world instead.
+
Ancient Mayans tried to make 3D models of mountains to re-shape their temples with, as theirs looked too "[[pixel]]ated". They failed, got frustrated, and predicted the end of the world instead.
   
 
It should also be remembered that mountains have rights, and one of them is that no one should generate 3D representations of them.
 
It should also be remembered that mountains have rights, and one of them is that no one should generate 3D representations of them.
 
 
An indian scholar by the name of Nadun Da Silva Wirrawangdanga Totos Horris P. Mctitties claimed that mountains were the sorce of light. this theory was produced because Nadun believed that if one tossed a big enough extension lead at the mountain, the lead would turn a slight blue colour. Although this proved irrelivent to Naduns theory most people believed he was high or took pilles with alcahole.
+
An Indian scholar by the name of Nadun Da Silva Wirrawangdanga Totos Horris P. McTitties claimed that mountains were the source of [[light]]. This theory was produced because Nadun believed that if one tossed a big enough extension lead at the mountain, the lead would turn a slight blue colour. Although this proved irrelevant to Nadun's theory, most people believed he was high from taking [[pill]]s with alcohol or something.
   
 
==Tallest Mountains in the World==
 
==Tallest Mountains in the World==
*Mount Everest, [[Himalayas, Nepal]], caused by the lack of control over defecation by the [[Indian subcontinent|Indian incontinent]]
+
*Mount Everest, Himalayas, [[Nepal]], caused by the lack of control over defecation by the [[India|Indian incontinent]]
 
*Black Mountain, [[Kentucky]]
 
*Black Mountain, [[Kentucky]]
 
*Pride Rock, somewhere in [[Africa]] and is ruled by a bunch of insane [[lion]]s.
 
*Pride Rock, somewhere in [[Africa]] and is ruled by a bunch of insane [[lion]]s.
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*Mount Eveready
 
*Mount Eveready
 
*[[Brokeback Mountain]]
 
*[[Brokeback Mountain]]
*[[Mount Terror]]
+
*[[AAAAAAAAA!|Mount Terror]]
* Mt. [[Deeznutz]], [[Portugul]], [[South]] [[Ugly Betty|America]]
+
* Mt. Deeznutz, [[Portugal]], [[South America]]
 
*[[Witch]] Mountain, a mountain thought to contain witch warrens
 
*[[Witch]] Mountain, a mountain thought to contain witch warrens
 
*That disgusting pus-filled [[zit|pimple]] on your forehead
 
*That disgusting pus-filled [[zit|pimple]] on your forehead
*The Twin Peaks of [[Dolly Parton]]
+
*The Twin Peaks of [[boobs|Dolly Parton]]
*[[Uluru]], the failed attept by kangaroos to dig a hole
+
*[[Uluru]], the failed attempt by kangaroos to dig a hole
 
* The Springfield tire fire
 
* The Springfield tire fire
 
* Noses that have sprouted from graveyards
 
* Noses that have sprouted from graveyards
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==Shortest Mountains in the World==
 
==Shortest Mountains in the World==
*Mount [[Hervé Villechaize]]
+
*Mount Hervé Villechaize
 
*[[Death Valley]], California
 
*[[Death Valley]], California
*[[DOTA#Characters|Tiny]], a walking piece of rock that is really a mountain that is so small that it can be called a [[rock]].
+
*Tiny, a walking piece of rock that is really a mountain that is so small that it can be called a [[rock]].
*[[Montblanc|Mont Blanc]], and a living mountain indeed.
+
*Mont Blanc, and a living mountain indeed.
 
*Your pants when you get "[[erection|excited]]".
 
*Your pants when you get "[[erection|excited]]".
   
 
==Trivial Facts==
 
==Trivial Facts==
 
*In [[1903]], [[Austria]]n geologists discovered that mountains are alive with the [[sound]] of [[gangsta rap]].
 
*In [[1903]], [[Austria]]n geologists discovered that mountains are alive with the [[sound]] of [[gangsta rap]].
*The king of the mountain is [[Edvard Grieg]], who lives in his hall in [[The Galdhøpiggen]], which is the biggest mountain in [[Norway]].
+
*The king of the mountain is [[Edvard Grieg]], who lives in his hall in The Galdhøpiggen, which is the biggest mountain in [[Norway]].
   
 
==Countries with a lot of mountains==
 
==Countries with a lot of mountains==
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==See also==
 
==See also==
*[[Mountain Goat]]
+
*[[goat|Mountain Goat]]
 
*[[Hill]]
 
*[[Hill]]
 
*[[Mountain Hunting]]
 
*[[Mountain Hunting]]
*[[In The Hall Of The Mountain King]]
+
*[[Lumps]]
*[[lumps]]
 
 
*[[Jim Bridger]]
 
*[[Jim Bridger]]
 
{{fix|redlink}}
 
   
 
[[de:Berg]]
 
[[de:Berg]]

Revision as of 12:52, August 14, 2012

“I have seen the top of the mountain. And it is good.”
~ Generic prophet on the mountain
“First there is a mountain, then there is no mountain.”
~ Donovan on the mountain, then not on the mountain
Colorful mountains
Mountains are a colorful geological feature on the Earths surface

In geology, a mountain is a large man made bump on the Earth's surface, not to be confused with a mere wussy hill.

If one manages to tip a mountain on its side, the mountain produces one red mana. This isn't easy however, as mountains are sometimes a little bit heavy.

Origins

Mountains were made by women with constant periods to make our lives harder. Also they're pretty to look at.

They were created especially for the film Vertical Limit.

Nomenclature

A potential mountain actually receives a name and official mountain status whenever at least two-thirds of the members of one major mountaineering expedition suffer horrible deaths in attempting to scale it. Since mountaineers prefer to climb official mountains only, this presents something of a Catch-22 paradox. It therefore follows that mountains, in fact, do not exist, and are only the products of the deranged imaginations of geologists.

Sometimes mountaineers with cute lips are often misjudged as Capricorns due to the redness of their eyes. If symptoms persist, contact your local pharmacist.


The Romans reopened the industry of mountain making when they constructed Mt Everest in their great conquest. They built it by sacrificing kittens until Jupiter got mad at them and threw the Indian subcontinent at the Roman army's Alexander brigade. No one climbed it for several hundred years until Tiberias Gracchus learned the secret of chewing coca leaves from Columbian mountain climbers, who used the plant to get stoned enough to climb the rocky mountains. He tried to redistribute the mountain's north slope to Roman army veterans who lost their land betting on kitten races, and got eaten by the Roman Senate. Incredibly, Mt. Everest, was the highest mountain even before it was discovered as the highest mountain.

3D Models of Mountains

It is an interesting and well-proven fact that it is impossible to create a computerised 3D model of a mountain. According to Einstein's theory of relativity, it's impossible. The 3rd Law of thermodynamics is that you cannot model 3D mountains. It's also the first rule in Fight Club, the 12th step of the alcoholics anonymous program, and Dracula's last words.

Neil Armstrong once said, "One small step for man, and you can't make 3D models of a mountain". There's only one recorded occurrence of an advanced alien civilization contacting Earth, and the transmission was roughly deciphered as "We still can't make 3D models of mountains!".

The precise Oxford Dictionary defines "Mountain" as: (n) Object of which 3D models cannot be made." The Encyclopedia Britannica adds (in an obscure footnote): "(They're too fucking big.)"

Ancient Mayans tried to make 3D models of mountains to re-shape their temples with, as theirs looked too "pixelated". They failed, got frustrated, and predicted the end of the world instead.

It should also be remembered that mountains have rights, and one of them is that no one should generate 3D representations of them.

An Indian scholar by the name of Nadun Da Silva Wirrawangdanga Totos Horris P. McTitties claimed that mountains were the source of light. This theory was produced because Nadun believed that if one tossed a big enough extension lead at the mountain, the lead would turn a slight blue colour. Although this proved irrelevant to Nadun's theory, most people believed he was high from taking pills with alcohol or something.

Tallest Mountains in the World

Shortest Mountains in the World

  • Mount Hervé Villechaize
  • Death Valley, California
  • Tiny, a walking piece of rock that is really a mountain that is so small that it can be called a rock.
  • Mont Blanc, and a living mountain indeed.
  • Your pants when you get "excited".

Trivial Facts

Countries with a lot of mountains

See also

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