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“I put mothballs in my closet to keep him out. Then again that is a damn big moth...”
A Brief HistoryThe Mothman was a spanish conquistador who claimed many countries in the south of Wal-Mart. Prior the the conquistation of the countries there was nothing, not even air or dirt. Nowadays there is a big freaky-ass monster that is named after him. But one night he was mistaken for a monster chasing people (While he was on his way to the Kwik-E-Mart and was seen for the first time). He flew along side a car with an open window, but eventually humans will be scared to shit if a moth-like-creature comes up and asks for smokes. They rolled up the window and a part of his wing with it. After that they speeded up to 100mp/h and they claimed they were chased by it. He suffered a massive headache as his head was dragged along with the car as his wing got stuck to the window. Basically, it is a weird moth thing that flies around cities (Most Commonly Boston) and bridges singing Enya songs backwards while peeling an orange. The Mothman has also been known to leave whoopee cushions on chairs in U.N meetings and has been held responsible for Donald Trump's hair.
The Monsters Childhood
Mothman was born in Zion in 1927 to a family of 2 other children. He happily grew up with his Mothmama and Mothpapa and his brother and sister. In 1936 he got a degree as a janitor from Yale. but then he found out that flying around scaring people to the brink of insanity is the true path to spiritual enlightenment after he had a bizarre vision involving Buddha or fishing or something like that. His sister became an actress in small home movies such as "My Mothy wife", and "Honey, I Shrank the Cocoons". His brother became the drummer of the popular rap/opera/math/Oriental cuisine band, Dream Theater.
"I never thought I was so good at flying around scaring people" ~Mothman
"Rub tummy for good luck" ~Buddha
"...Rip off." ~Birdman
Mothman once had his 15 minutes of fame when he got the oppotunity to realease his own energy drink brand, named Mothacus.
Typical Day for the Mothman
All the mothman pretty much does all day is eat pokemon trainers, but no-one knows that he is actually the famed superhero, Mothman. His heroic deeds have echoed like elephants throughout the 7th Dimension. some of his deed have been recorded on film and sold to trees. He is well hung.
'Mothman' the Reality Show
Mothman the Reality Show aired on September 2006, worldwide on MTV (they were the only ones who would've aired such abominable piece of crap) right in between 'Next' and some other random show featuring various types of complete imbeciles and half naked rednecks. Mainly, the show was taped on Mothman's residence, Your Mom, showing him to the public as what he really is: a huge moth that kinda looks like a flying dude that if you saw one day while walking back home on the highway after getting drunk at the downtown bar, you would probably crap your guts out at the sight. It was given various reviews by critics in the U.S., usually described as "sticking your head up a gorilla's ass while being banged by Danny DeVito dressed as a french maid" and other similar points of view. The show was canceled after only 2 episodes, to the joy of Birdman, and the producers and writers were executed and their bodies were cast into Mount Doom, back in good 'ol Mordor. Also the Mothman likes to interview ham.
Facts about Mothman
- Mothman wanted to go by the name Birdman, but got himself into a legal dispute.
- Mothman likes getting caught in the rain
- Mothman played The Legend of Zelda: Twilight Princess last summer and it took him 103 hours to get to the last level. That's how much he sucks at Gamecube.
- Mothman spent last winter snowboarding in Europe, where he broke his left wing and lost his third testicle, thus making him a little more human-like.
- Mothman owned a chicken farm in the TNT Area during his stay in Point Pleasant, West Virginia. He hates dogs though because they loved to chase the poor birds and sometimes killed one or two. This is one of the main reasons why dogs are a part of his balanced diet. German Shepherds are his favorite. Mmm...dog meat.
- The Mothman can usually be found in areas with poor camera focus.
- Mothman once mated with a grue, which spawned thousands of Mothgrues that devour humans and live in hives.
The Mothman is clearly homosexual. There's actually several of them and they are all gay.
The Mothman once got raped by Joshua Gates, the faggot host of the stupid show Destination thruth. Josh has since then gotten all kinds of sexual diseases. He regret that very BIG mistake. But at least we don't have to watch him on the screen no more.
- Some of Mothman's hobbies include: blowing up bridges, chilling in a TNT plant and causing nuclear melt downs.