Morning
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“COFFEEEEEEEEEEE......!!!”
~ Just about anyone on mornings
“BEEP BEEP BEEP... zzzzzzz zzzhuh? Morning... awww, dammit... morning already? .”
~ Oscar Wilde on Morning
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[edit] Rise and Shine
Give me a few more minutes to sleep; I had a lot to drink last night and didn't get to bed til about 2:27 AM (DST). Why won't that stupid alarm clock leave me alone? Right in the middle of a wonderful dream where I was having se... errrr, never mind. And further more, who's absolutely brilliant idea was Daylight Saving Time, anyway? Give me back my 60 minutes, you bastard.
[edit] Extreme Sarcasm
Oh, hello, Mister "I'm So Happy to Get Up at the Crack of Dawn". Pardon me if I barf in the wake of your abundant enthusiasm.
“I always wake up at the crack of Dawn, then i go back home to my wife”
~ Some joker on a humour binge
[edit] Types of People
There are two types of people in the world: normal people and morning people. The vast majority of the populace are normal people and they rue waking up in the morning; a small percentage of people enjoy the mornings find walking up to be very easy and usually are secretly hated by their friends and family. Morning people are advised to stay clear of normal people in the morning because when a normal person is confronted by a morning person while they are still groggy the situation can end in a severe beating being administered to the morning person, who is usually a pacifist pussy.This can be avoided by sleeping until the afternoon. Normal people can annoy morning people by greeting them with the word 'morning' any time of day.
[edit] Ways to Make Mornings More Awesome
- Dip the alarm clock in a vat of sulfuric acid.
- Slow down Earth's rate of rotation using a few billion well-placed thermonuclear charges.
- Slap Mister "I'm So Happy to Get Up at the Crack of Dawn" upside the head.
- Have a beer for breakfast.
- Sleep in.
