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We know those crazy canucks are somehow connected to this. Well... Not really, but we blame everything on Canada anyways.
Mormon revolt refers to an uprising that the Mormon pride group may be planning. Some X-Mormons have let leak that in the near future the Mormon religion will cease to be the peaceful, family loving group they are now. Experts in this field called "Antis" are working furiously to stop this rebellion. Antis show their true colors by being seen protesting outside LARGE Mormon gatherings called the general conference. They are trying to uncover the Mormons for who they really are.
Remember, this is all theory seeing as there is no proof. The Mormon pride has made sure of this. However, from the clues we have obtained, we can reasonably well guess the following.
We all know that Mormons have been spreading their ideas through their infantry, the missionary. What we didn't know was that within these "discussions" are the plans for a massive rebellion. Sources guess that in the year 2025, which may have religious significance to the Mormons, the first leg of their plan will commence. The first step in this process is eliminating the Antis. This will be done through horrifically powerful and well read bible bashing where in the Mormons will come out victorious. The Antis will then hide themselves in shame and fear.
Their second step is to gain power in office. This step is starting early embedding the idea of a Mormon president, into the heads of unknowing non-Mormons. For this reason is Mitt Romney running for office. From the head of the country will their secret plans be put under way. Once enough of the government is under control the Mormons will start their influence upon the world.
What They Will Do
Their first step once in power is to eliminate all that you hold dear. They will start out small with the banning of soda and so forth. They will then take a big step and ban beer and coffee. Once these have been eliminated they will take away women and football. "Football deprives the peaceful man's spirit and turns it into one much less satisfactory," said a high placed Mormon.
Why they want this
The entire religion's purpose is to destroy all happiness and this is just a large step in this process. By ending all happiness, Mormons hope to gain exhalation and become gods. If the Mormons take over the world, then they will be one step closer to becoming gods.
The main reason they plan to do this is much less deep and insightful. The main reason is to get free food. The Mormons have always been persecuted in the food business. This is why they moved to Utah to escape the rising prices that only applied to Mormons. They were also fed worse food and forced to eat live burgers. Yes, living burgers. This feat has yet to be accomplished by any other major religion.
Famous Mormons on the inside of the Mormon revolt plan
- Mitt Romney
- Joseph Smith yes they have been planning this that long
- The Flying Spaghetti Monster
Secret Mormons working for the revolt
- The entire country of Tonga
- Your local Librarian
- That Fidgety Weird Kid Who Sits Behind You In Third Period
- Creepy guy who lives across the street