Monopoly
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- This article is about the popular Parka Brothas board game about trading real estate. For the Wilde Brothas board game about trading Uncyclopedia namespaces, see Uncyclopoly.
A popular board game, Monopoly was allegedly invented by Kim Jong Il, but more likely by virtually anyone else, especially Sega & Amiga. Although a historian said that Monopoly was the work of J.R.R Tolkien to commemorate the Massacre on the fjords so let's all believe him and go have a cup of tea.
While we believe him, we should also note that Monopoly is the longest running game show that never appeared on television. The main player in Monopoly is Karma, which will always win no matter what. so don't think that just because you scored $1000 off your bud, you won't get raped next turn by the freakin' boardwalk.
It is known who invented the game, but you don't need to know. Until more evidence is collected, these are officially considered to have been the work of witches.
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[edit] Uncle Andross Moneybags
The guy on the box is known as Uncle Andross Moneybags. He is the game's host, and is best friends with Bill Gates, Donald Trump, and Scrooge Mc Duck. His enemy is the Star Fox team. He has a real estate empire, just like Oprah has a media empire. Being rude to him will surely get you in Jail, without the chance to pass Go and collect 200 dollars. There is a large chance you may lose this money right away because you are a jackass overconfident, and probably taunted the other players by saying "Now, I'm the one who has the brains money to rule buy Lylat!" which will result in Karma kicking your ass.
[edit] Variations
- Bondopoly: Players could blow up any enemy's lair like the Crab Key in Dr. No, Goldeneye, Venice floating bank, Igloo in Iceland, the Zorin's Silicon Valley hideout or Ernst Stavro Blofeld's Volanic lair.
- Commiopoly: The players are prohibited from owning any of the properties individually.
- Mircosopoly: players are not allowed to own property.
- Anarcopoly: No rules.
- Somaliopoly: No rules. Everyone loses.
- Outbackopoly: No rules. Just right.
- Antimonopoly: Any player holding all properties of a set must give at least one to another player; or he may split his wealth equally and take 2 turns per round. Most go for the second option.
- Enronopoly: Players go around the board doubling their money every time they pass go. Players cannot go bankrupt. If you go to jail, you and everyone seated next to you loses.
- Oligopoly: Players can build on a property if they own one of a set.
- Hollywoodopoly: Players can buy or stop buy nightclubs, hotels, movie studios, theme parks, and glamour stores or even "Gossip Colum". In "Chance" or "Community Chest" might say Go to Rehab, Go Direcly to Rehab, Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect $2,000+, Time To Act, Pay $100,000 or Paparazzis, Tabloid Hounds, Move Back 3 Spaces.
- Sodomopoly: GLBT players automatically win.
- Naziopoly: Jews are not allowed to own property. Stations lead to concentration camps. Go to Jail is replaced by Go to Auschwitz.
- Mafiopoly: Players are allowed to have properties and improvements, provided that they give the godfather a cut.
- Africopoly: On average these games don't last as long. The exact rule differences no one will agree on but you start with only $2.50 monopoly money. Also, Go To Jail is replaced with landmines, and AIDS has its own square, which can be obtained by landing on it whilst it is in another player's possession, and replaces all subsequent properties landed on by said player.
- Galipoly: Same rules as the original, but is played on a battlefield, usually during a botched attempt by British Generals to help out an allied nation.
- hip hopoloy : it involves dancing and real estate investment usually played with some phat beats
- MSNopoly: lol
- Battleship: Players use their imagination.
- Thermopylae: the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.
- Emopoly: How fast can you make your life a miserable thing?
- Startrekopoly: How many planets can you annex before the Romulans, Klingons, Borg, Dominion, Cardassians, and Ori take the rest. The goal is to annex planets to build fleets of Starships with.
- Ghettopoly
- Iraqopoly
- Sadism and Monopolism: A rare and valuable variation on the game. Win or lose, it's your choice.
- trambopoly: a newer version of monopoly that uses trampolines and has krusty the clown on the box
- edna krabopoly dats just wierd
- krip-popoly smoke some weed shoot some bloods roll a 6 and go to jail,dont drop the soap BITCH
the little car is 'pimped' with hydraulics
- Blackopoly Go directly to jail. Every time.
- Monopolyopoly Players compete to purchase monopoly boards.
- Zimbabopoly Same as regular monopoly, but with 100 Trillion dollar bills that won't be worth much in American Monopoly. Players don't go to jail, they simply dissapear if they say something bad about Robert Mugabe. Hotels replaced by cattle. Chance cards replaced by Cholera pills.
== *It dosnt matter how you play it, the jew is always gonna win..
==
[edit] Variant Edition
Monopoly players have traditionally played by 'house rules.' These variations (and the reverence with which they are followed) have caused great consternation and offense to sticklers, especially the game's publisher. After years of officious rule-mongering, Parker Brothers has finally caved. In a press release in 2004, Mr. Pinibags, spokesperson for Parker Brothers, admitted, "You were right all along." A new 'Variant Edition' of Monopoly hit store gamecases shortly afterward.
The new game features a reprinting of the game board, rules, and ticker-tape strips to match a more liberal philosophy. The changes include:
- Removal of the restriction on agreements between players. If two players bankrupt a third by pooling their assets and end up in stalemate, the rules advise that the winner be decided by a knife fight.
- Any player may lend money to any other player. If no one can remember how much money who owes whom, a tribunal is set up, which inevitably sides with the most socially popular player.
- Issue of million dollar bills, for players who like money. The resulting game lengthening is counteracted with a host of illogical taxes.
- Concession that Free Parking does in fact pay a jackpot.
- Approval of travelling railroads. If a player lands on a railroad that is his, he can move his token to any square of his choice, quickly unbalancing the game in his favour.
- If you land on a property you own, you have to "pay yourself money."
- Anyone whose token is sent to jail automatically loses. The loser's property is placed in the Free Parking jackpot, for an unfair windfall that still imparts bragging rights.
- "Lenience cards" can be bought for "protection"
- The loser will be cerimonially stuffed and mounted before replacing the thimble as a playing piece.
[edit] Monopoly 3D
Monopoly 3D (a.k.a. Monopoly^1.5) is an agonizing variant, played on two Monopoly boards stacked above and below 4 CD racks. A third Monopoly board is cut up into squares which are slotted into the 4 CD racks. Thus there are 104 squares in the setup instead of the usual 36. Correspondingly, there are 6 facilities (3 Oil Derricks and 3 Phone Companies) and 12 railroads. A felt tipped marker must be used to add patterns to two of the three duplicates of each property, to differentiate them as being in different cities: plain, striped, and dotted are usual. Two of the three sets of property cards that must be procured must be marked up in a similar fashion. Four of the eight corner squares may then be customized to read things like "Kitty," "Workers' union," "Frontier claims office," or "Go to the nexus."
Players' tokens begin on the original Begin square. Players have a choice of two directions when passing each corner square. Otherwise the rules are the same. However, the game only makes sense when played by large numbers of people in a partying context. The game also takes an astronomical period of time to complete, so all professionally crafted sets should carry "Aging" and "Axing" warnings.
[edit] Monopoly, Kabbalah, and divination
Like the Tarot, the Monopoly boardgame has been used for fortune telling purposes. It has been discovered that the 22 properties of the gameboard correspond to the Major Arcana of Tarot and to the 22 letters of the Hebrew alphabet. Wao that is interesting...
[edit] Different Variations Of Monopoly
Many different types of Monopoly exist, these include then and now, bristol, chav and nazi. The then and now includes the feature of paying with a credit card whereas the chav edition features squares including Lidl, Burger King and Aldi. The Nazi game allows you to buy countrys instead of houses! (Makes you feel like a real Nazi) The chav edition was released due to increasing pressure by the fact that everyone these days has been fucked or robbed by one. Hitler of course sent a messenger in the shape of George Bush to force the nazi edition, as everyone knows.
Template:Monopoly board layout
Template:Monopoly board layout
[edit] See also
 | Divinatory Arts and Artists |
| Antropomorphing | Astrology | Augury | Ball gazing | Clairvoyance | Dice | Fortune cookies | Magic 8-Ball | Monopoly | Necromancy | Negromancy | Nostradamus | Numerology | Palmistry | Phrenology | Precognition | Prophecy | Psychic | Scatomancy | Tarot | Telepathy | Wheel of Fortune |
