Monaco

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Monaco is located on the small planet of Cashgoldmoneydiamonds

What if the lives of the Beautiful People were just a reality show?

~ Oscar Wilde on Beautiful People

Screw the fuc*king Vatican

~ Monégasque who hates being 2nd smallest

Monaco (smallest Prince-Kingdom rest of Italian-Spanish Gay Monacal catedraliciums bishop)the smallest city of the country of Monaco, which is very small. There live the people who are much, much richer than you.

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[edit] Monaco

the citizens of Monaco have never been to such countries as "the united states" which they consider beneath them. when traveling to this country beware of slippery gold and strangulation by diamond necklaces. You will not be able to afford to live in Monaco, for unfortunately there are only mansions for sale at no less that 3 billion solid gold bars ( the standard currency in Monaco). On the bright side, you are free to support the monarchy by spending all your money on the entrance fee to the famous casino!

[edit] Transportation

The most common Modes of transportation in Monaco are the Rolls Royce, private jet and mega yacht. citizenship in Monaco requires you to have all of these things, as well as 3 homes of 8 bedrooms or more, a personal fortune of at least 40 billion dollars, and a staff of 50 servants who follow you were ever you go, oh and a cat.

Tour guide Alonso shows tourists around the beautiful city

The other major mode of transportation in Monaco is the Formula 1 car. Travel around Monaco through the tight, winding, and downright dangerous roads of Monaco in a 300-million Pound Sterling (that's the British currency, you stupid American twat! that's why the world uses the Metric System to avoid idiots like you mixing the two up) carbon-fibre masterpiece of engineering and see the beutiful harbour, the tunnel, the casinos and the splintered wrecks of both Force India team cars that are in the barriers again. Tours around Monaco are avaliable and you get to drive this high-speed machine around town (which is like driving an Enzo Ferrari through a traffic jam) while your tour guide F1 driver (who's doing this cuz FIA budget cuts mean the drivers can't get multi-million dollar salaries anymore and need a second job to avoid the bank repossessing their furniture) shows you around town. Whatever you do, don't hit the barriers or you're paying for the car!

"...and if you look to your left, you will see the Force India cars retiring from the race again as they always do. When it comes to dissappointing, they never dissappoint" - Tour guide Alonso

[edit] Poverty in Monaco

Sadly, Monaco is dealing with a poverty level of 4 people today whose fortune has slipped well below 22 billion dollars and can no longer afford to eat at the countries many pretentious restaurants. A fund supported by the Foundation for the Restoration of Wealth is slowly helping these sad poor people back onto their golden-shoed feet.

[edit] Beware: Steep Cliffs!

There have been many fatalities related to people walking off of cliffs in Monaco because their noses were so high up in the air they could not see where they were going.

[edit] The Actors and Actresses

All of the actors and actresses are Beautiful People.

[edit] Prince Antoine of the House of Griswald

The lead actor is His Serene Highness Prince Antoine of the House of Griswald, a distant branch of deposed French royalty. Balding, yet a Beautiful People, he is a role model to frustrated young bachelors all over TV Land. Former captain of Jamaica's Olympic bobsled team (he once won Jamaican citizenship at the Casino de Monte-Carlo playing poker), on the show he is captain of Monaco's. Antoine is good with Da Babes. Antoine performs his own stunts.

[edit] Princess Catherine and Princess Simone

Antoine's two sisters, both Beautiful People, also have major roles: the high-society Princess Catherine and the powerfully-built adventure-hero Princess Simone. Simone's husband, Frederico, is a Cirque du Soleil circus-performer and a Beautiful People. Simone and Frederico perform their own stunts. As well, Simone performs Catherine's stunts.

[edit] A Cast of Thousands

Virtually all of the residents of the City of Cannes are cast-members of the show, mainly as extras but often in recurring supporting roles. Sporting Saint-Tropez suntans and tennis outfits, 98% of the Cannes population are Beautiful People. The 2% who aren't are not cast.

[edit] The Rich and Famous

Starlet with photographers - Cannes Film Festival
Many Beautiful People -- film stars and figures from the world of Mass Entertainment and Mass Popular Culture -- from around the world play cameo and feature roles in the show. Most are voluntarily or forcibly rounded up by Simone during Cannes' annual International Film Festival. Filming of the show each season generally takes place in the two weeks following the film festival.


[edit] Royal Lives

Because royalty is one of the themes of the show, the show's casting policy is relaxed to permit members of other countries' active or deposed royal families to participate in the show whether or not they're Beautiful People. Now the Soberane has a secret relation with the Nuclear Tarfaya moroccan ayatollah, prince of the Faith believers.

[edit] Show Themes

As a reality show, the actors and actresses play themselves. Hence, the show is reminiscent of how a royal court in today's America would be if America had royalty and it had Beautiful People at the court and the court were located on the coast of the Mediterranean Sea in a European micro-nation.

[edit] Set Locations

Set locations include:

[edit] Casino de Monte-Carlo

Cannes City Hall functions as the set for the Casino de Monte-Carlo.

[edit] Paris Hilton Hotel

Beautiful People Paris Hilton enjoys Cannes and 'acting' in the show so much that she had her family build the Paris Hilton Hotel here. (To avoid possible confusion, the existing hotel in Paris was renamed the Hilton Paris Hotel.)

[edit] See also

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