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“Mombasa? That's Hot.”
~ Paris Hilton on Mombasa
Mombasa flag
The flag of Mombasa.
Motto: "Cat meat and witchcraft"
Civic anthem: Fundamentals by Ken Wa Maria
State UnFlag of Kenya.svg Kenya
Official language(s) Gentleman's Swahili, English
Mayor Some guy who migrated there from Somalia
Currency Kenyatta's shilling

Mombasa, officially the Jambowakumbwasulu Municipality of Mombasa, is a city at the coast of the Empire of Kenya. It is widely known as the gathering place for white tourists wanting to take advantage of Kenyans working in the hotels across the city.

edit History


A Portuguese man just hanging out in Mombasa.

Mombasa was founded by dwarfs from Portugal in early 895 BC. They traveled there to find diamonds, a goal which they accomplished, discovering the world's biggest diamond, an 88.9 carat whopper. After several decades, the town developed into being a big mining town. The rumors about the diamonds spread all over the world and soon England, France and Norway were all determined to take over Mombasa. Upon landing, the men of the three nations discovered the white sandy beaches of the coastal town. With finance from the diamonds of the Portuguese, the immigrants built hotels along the coast, which they used to subject the townspeople into slavery while they ate caviar and hamburgers imported from America in their restaurants. Mombasa continues to be a hotspot for tourists around the world wishing to unwind for the holidays, and to this day the townspeople continue to be subjected to slavery, which baffles the rest of the Empire of Kenya.

edit Present day

Traffic in mombasayo

A common sign in the streets of Mombasa

There is no known traffic light or traffic sign within the city of Mombasa. It is said that they were all stolen by a German tourist who was a Coca-Cola addict.

Like the motto of the town says, cat meat and witchcraft are two of the city's biggest sources of income.

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