From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“I want some of those...”
A molecule is slightly smaller than a human fist, yet the human fist is made up of billions and billions of molecules. This is because molecules have some of the same properties of styrofoam meaning that molecules can share the same space as another molecule depending on how tightly the fist is clenched. This is why a vice can be made up of even more molecules than a fist u people here are so stupid
Molecules are sweet and are like choclate icecream, in which the structure is chewy. little things full of other indivisible things called atoms, which are made up of indivisible things called quarks, which are made up of the fundemental unit of matter called funk.
The smallest and most simple molecule is the marble. It is made up of a single glass atom. Scientists think the only difference between the glass atom and the marble is the name. they also leik mudkipz and yo mom
There are numerous types of molecules, the classification of which are determined by their material. The current standards are based on IUPAC nomenclature.
The proper method by which molecules are classified depend on the materials of their respective parts: balls and connectors. For example, a model made of plastic balls with plastic connectors is called "plastic." One of magnetic parts with connectors is "magnetic"
When naming a molecule, the material of the balls takes precedent first; therefore a plastic ball molecule would have the prefix, "Plasti." Connectors are secondary names and become suffixes, dropping the vowel at the end of the prefix. All suffixes are captialized to distinguish them from their prefixes. Therefore, a plastic model with wood connectors is called "PlastOD" and a Wood molecule with plastic connectors is called "WIC".
In situations of mixed combinations, the nomenclature priority is from most natural to least natural from hardest to softest. There is a larger chart for this information, but of the common elements, the hierarchy is as follows:
- Plastic tits
- Styrofoam dildo
So a model with equal parts diamond, granite, glass balls with all wooden connectors would be named
Often, numbers or additional prefixes are required to denote the numbers of components of molecules. Ergo, the following occurs with a 4 diamond, 3 glass, 2 wood, 1 granite 2 foam balls, with 3 glass connectors, 2 foam connectors, and 1 wood connector:
In cases where there are more complex bindings, numbers are required.
Styro Gra,2-Gra DiGla 1-Styro 1-Gla DiWo 1-Gra 1-Wo DiStyro Gra-Styro 2-Gra/gla TRIASS Styr/Wo Gla/Wo DIOD Gra/Styro Wo/Styro DIFOAM
This system is hailed by most scientists as a brilliant and simple naming system that is far superior to anything that the human mind has come created thus far.
edit Cult Following
Quite a few molecules have been discovered to have cult followings, and their very existence has unfluenced humans and are what screwed up you and your mom. [Citation not needed at all; thank you very much] A list of a few of such molecules are as follows (list needs expansion):
- The most well-known
chemical compoundmolecule is the hydroxide ion. It appears in Interweb-§p3@k for no apparent reason, though it's widespread and random use indicates cult following. Example: "OH, sorry, my head asploded. OH it hurts." "OH, ok." Scientists have yet to figure out the reason for shouting "HYDROXIDE" all the time, though they are more concerned in developing human fuel that never runs out, aka, bottomless beer kegs.
- The oxygen molecule is the fav drug of certain stoners. However, faithful cultists (see New Born Religion of the Ox) have spread well-known rumors that all humans actually breathe oxygen all the time and cannot live without it. This seems to imply that everyone is a stoner and gets high on oxygen, and thus, this is all just hot air. Cultists and conspiracy theorists continue to push this idea of mass-stoning, even showing absurd "proof" such as airplanes and how it's proof that people can in fact get high in oxygen. Everyone knows planes fly due to fluffy marshmallow power and female orgasmatron emissions from the mile-high club.
edit Molecule Facts
- Pain is actually caused by the flow of pain molecules to the brain.
- Contrary to popular belief, humans are not mostly made of water molecules. Humans are actually 90% greed molecules. The other 10% are molecules of lust.
- Uncyclopedia is composed of uncyclohexane molecules.