From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Mojo Jojo can be destroyed but not defeated.”
“ I find this to be insulting, they dare to put an article of me on this comedy website? This is supposed to be a website that teaches people about the truth of the world, as that is what the web is for... that's why it was invented. But I find that they make a website of comedy, which means that it is not true... it is only to make one laugh at completely false facts. Now I find that one has put an article of me up, which means they are making fun of me and not talking about my glory and truth of fact. This I find insulting, but since I do not know how this site works, I cannot fix it... therefore I am forced to stare at this and know that it is here. This is not amusing on my end, why do they let youngsters type this stuff on such sites.”
Mojo Jojo (or the simple Jojo) is the archenemy of the Powerpuff Girls and one of the few supervillains who is literally a monkey. Mojo Jojo is usually considered the leftover from the experiment that created the Powerpuff Girls that didn't turn out too well. He is usually not taken seriously because of his status as a mutated monkey who talks like a japanese speed racer and sings pop culture songs when he is depressed. However, despite his awkward manner of speech, Mojo Jojo is possibly the only living creature who knows the unrevealed secret to world peace (which he hopes to expose to the world if they would just listen).
Mojo Jojo was originally a monkey who loved nothing more than to break things (especially if they were glass and from China). He was originally taken in by Professor Plutonium as a lab assistant and was given the name Jojo (or sometimes it was Jack Jack or Charles or something else, the professor was too busy creating failures to worry about the name). The professor wanted some help in the lab since he had no friends and not enough money to hire a real one, so he had to go with the old monkey for a lab assistant. But when you have a monkey as a lab assistant, you have to keep in mind that nearly all your experiments are going to blow up in your face. Jojo did exactly this, causing the professor's house to suffer severe damage and cause bills to skyrocket. So eventually the professor decided to create the perfect little girl, one that would not blow up his lab. So the professor mixed together all kinds of strange ingredients for his experiment. But just before the experiment was complete, Jojo pushed the professor like a proper lab monkey would do, causing the professor to crash into and spill a jug of Chemical X, thus yet another experiment blew up in his face.
However, despite the big blow up, the Powerpuff Girls were still created successfully. Jojo himself was also affected by the explosion, the Chemical X that was in the mix had splashed in his mouth, causing him to turn lime green and puke for about a week. Jojo also got extremely painful headaches, at first he thought he had a malignant tumor lodged in his brain, but in reality his head was splitting open and his brain was growing much larger than a monkey brain could logically grow. After the professor awoke from the explosion he saw the three girls that were created and rejoiced with open arms (then he noticed Jojo a few hours later). The professor was overjoyed to finally have lab assistants who didn't blow up his experiments (intentionally). Jojo tried his best to please the professor with his large brain and growing intelligence, but the professor (intentionally) never noticed. While he was being neglected, Jojo was miserable, until he discovered the one thing that brings happiness to someone's life... Anime. Jojo watched Anime day and night, in fact he watched it so much that he hardly remembered to shower. It was from the constant Anime viewing that Jojo learned to talk, and with a japanese accent and in entire paragraphs at a time. Then, Jojo discovered a secret within the Anime, by watching certain Anime shows in a specific way, he discovered the long lost secret to world peace.
edit Quest for Peace
Now that Jojo knew the secret to world peace, but he was so happy with his discovery that he decided to keep it a secret and only present it to someone special, like the professor. Jojo tried his best to tell the professor the secret to world peace and the two of them could then work together to achieve it. But the professor was too busy neglecting Jojo to listen. So Jojo ran away from home and started on a long and perilous quest to exploit the secret of world peace to the world. Jojo knew that this was a very big secret and that it must be revealed in a very special way. His first attempt to reveal the secret was to get a job at an expensive and yet very unorganized college university working as a professor, but no one would hire him because he was a monkey. Jojo then tried to get an article published in the paper about world peace, but no one would publish an article that was written by a monkey.
With all his ideas all but gone, Jojo wandered the streets desperately trying to find a way to tell the world what he knew. Then he saw a poster and had an idea, he would run for president and institute world peace as a global law. Jojo joined the Republican party and ran in 1999 and despite many hardships, he worked really hard and made it all the way to the primaries. However he lost the primaries to George W. Bush because nobody would vote for a monkey to be president. Jojo then continued his long and perilous quest.
edit Criminal Career
Eventually, Jojo came to the conclusion that no one was going to listen to him about the secret of world peace. So he decide to institute world peace himself. Jojo soon donned some rags and became the Ragged Crusader, a warrior of the night who fought criminals with his mighty flying trash can lid of doom. Jojo at first defeated entire criminal warlords and their gangs thanks to his powerful trash can lid. However, Jojo was eventually forced to give up his alternate identity since the rags he wore smelled so bad that they gave away his position.Jojo later stole a uniform off a supervillain that he bumped into on the street, so that he could really pose a threat to criminals everywhere. Unfortunately, the criminal was actually running from the Powerpuff Girls (who had just gone from lab assistants to whoop ass superheroes) and upon seeing Jojo, beat the living crap out of him. Jojo tried to explain he was innocent, but no one would listen because he was a monkey (and they were too distracted by the famous girls showing off their victory).
Eventually, Jojo finally snapped and decided to fight back against the girls. Using his knowledge of Anime, he got to work on creating a highly advanced lab that was powered by a volcano that just so happened to be in the middle of the city. He also used his knowledge of Anime to create giant robots and master Kung Fu (at least part of it). Finally after he completed everything he was working on, he took on the name Mojo Jojo (because thought the phrase was cool after he heard it in Austin Powers). Shortly after claiming his name and doing some powerful speeches that could not be heard through the thick walls of his lab, Mojo attacked the girls with his first giant robot. But unfortunately, he hadn't checked the news and soon discovered that the girls were bragging about themselves at Pearl Harbor. Upon first seeing the giant robot, troops believed that the Japanese had returned for round two and immediately opened fire. Mojo quickly bailed out of his doomed bot and the girls beat him up again, he was then sent back to jail and the girls got their much wanted attention again. Fortunately for Mojo, he was able to get out of jail by 6:00 PM thanks to a government bail-out package for supervillains. After that incident, he continued his efforts to crush the girls with giant robots and finally get back to his quest of bringing world peace into existence. But the Chemical X jacked up girls always destroyed his hard labored machines and kept sending him back to jail (and getting more attention from the public).
edit Later Years
Mojo Jojo went on for years trying to destroy the Powerpuff Girls, taking off more and more ideas from Anime. Later on, he started to actually get a bit more original and at one point, he even took an idea off the Powerpuff Girls and created the Rowdyruff Boys after mixing in a bunch of junk in his toilet which was filled with all the leftover toxic waste that his machines sometimes produced. This was the closest he ever came to destroying the Powerpuff Girls, until they kissed the boys and killed them with their highly explosive cooties.
Eventually, Mojo got tired of getting beat up (especially since he was now suffering some brain damage from having his brain socked so much). So he finally hung up his uniform and used a special machine to erase the unrevealed secret to world peace from his mind, since it would only distract him in the future and no one in America seemed to be getting the message anyway. Mojo then moved to a place where he really felt at home, Japan. Shortly after coming to Japan, Mojo started on a successful job with TV Tokyo using his powerful machines to demolish all the competition and force all good Anime to be licensed to the company. Soon the president retired and Mojo became the president of station, where he could further help everyone by biting down on copyright laws on fan subbed Anime shows.