From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
Mogwai is a band of small furby-like creatures from Scotland and the Asiatic nations, variably. Known for their lengthy instumental guitar-based pieces of post-rock, melodic bass riffs in the vein of folk-group Slayer, overlayered distortion and a tendency to reproduce when they get wet, wet and wet, they are very popular in both the UK and US. Critically acclaimed for Mogwai Young Team, Mr. Beast and their bravery in the face of their own accidently-spawned evil children, they are still hard at work for their next album.
|Years Active|| Glasgow, Scotland|
|Members|| Stuart "Gizmo" Braithwaite|
Barry "Burning Barry" Burns
edit Band Members
- Stuart "Gizmo' Braithwaite (Guitar & Needles, Guitar pick, Stringless guitar)
- Dominic Aitchison (Drums, guitar drums, drums with guitars)
- Martin Bulloch (Oscilloscope, flute on Mogwai Flute Satan)
- John Cummings (Bass Guitar, Cod guitar, Salmon guitar)
- Barry "Burning Barry" Burns (Burnt Bar)
- Current touring member Wise Old Chinese Man
edit The Three Rules of Listening to Mogwai
- Do not get them wet, wet or wet.
- Do not let them eat past midnight.
- Do not expose them to bright sunlight.
... or something along those lines. No one can ever remember.
edit Rise to Popularity
According to frontman Braithwaite, their first big break was after the invention of the electric guitar; it was at this time that the band received their trademark style. However, it wasn't until the invention of layered distortion that the band really took off. As they started playing for larger crowds in China, however, they became more and more a target of Furby Hunters, who wanted to trap them.
edit Capture and Release
When, in 1984, Braithwaite was captured by a sly old chinese man with a desire to expand into the foreign market of furby-smuggling, it seemed that the band had finally fallen apart. Shortly after his capture Braithwaite was sold to a well-meaning American family. They were not fully appraised of the rules of owning or listening to the music of Mogwai, and Braithwaite was inadvertently exposed to water, spawning larger, more aggressive versions of himself. Through the heroics of the family's eldest son and the with the help of the traumatized Braithwaite the town was rid of the small, scaled demons. The family, eternally grateful to Braithwaite and wanting nothing other than to be immediately rid of him, sent Braithwaite to Scotland in the hopes that they would never have to deal to with him again.
edit Critical Acclaim and Mass Success
In 1997, Mogwai released their first album, Young Team, coupled with a video of Braithwaite's exploits with water. The initial reaction to the album was confusion, as no one could quite figure out what anyone heard in their music. Later, however, such leading publications as Pitchfork Media and Indier Than Thou hailed the album as the beginnings of a new era, and Mogwai's popularity soared. They have released several albums, all of which have been accorded about the same amount of interest and sales, without regard to how the music actually sounded. The video of Braithwaite's painful transformative process into a green, scaly, demonic thing was also very popular, reaching the #2 position in popularity on YouTube, beat only by a video of dancing unicorns on Sugar-Plum Isle.