From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“I love the word "modern": it has an antique flavour.”
“Modern doesn't mean a thing: Tomorrow, Today will be Yesterday, and vice versa anyway”
At the moment of its writing, this article could be modern. Or antique. Or whatever. Or useless.
edit Modern writing
edit The glorious past
Whenever an old text bores you, remember it has been modern some day. Its unintelligibility has shocked people, who couldn't make head or tail out of it. It went against all current moral standards, and left its writer bereft of his head, causing some commentaries on there being no noteworthy difference.
edit The glorious future
Whenever somebody tells you your writing is unintelligible, don't worry: you're just being modern. Tell the person to die and come back to do some haunting: by then your writing will be considered ahead of its time. People will wonder why nobody could make head or tail out of such boring text, or why it eventually cost you your head. You can do some haunting together.
edit The glorious present
Whenever you find a text boring and/or unintelligible, check the people around you. If the writer has good press, and rumour has it that the writer could lose his head anytime, it's a modern text, and only true barbarians are not aware of that. Otherwise, don't try to make head or tail out of it and just chuck it away. There's the dustbin.
edit Modern painting
Go back to Modern writing, and substitute "painting" for "text", as well as for "writing", and "painter" for "writer". You can leave the word "unintelligible": once you're able to pronounce it, you can throw it in whatever conversation whenever you need to feel superior. Don't forget to practice the extended version "unintelligibility".
edit Modern music
Go back to Modern writing, and substitute... well, you know the game. I strongly advise you to keep the words "unintelligible" and "unintelligibility" for obvious reasons.
edit All things modern
edit Modern art in general
Keep generals out of modern art: things are confused enough as it is! But if your not comfortable yet with the word unintelligible, you can safely use interesting instead. This applies to all modern art in general. Keep generals out of... hey hey hey!
edit Modern and not art?
Q: try to find human activities that
- can be considered modern
- are not considered art
Once you've found something, you can add it right between those two (2) lines:
A: Frickin' sharks with frickin' laser beams.