Miscarriage
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“They prove that God has a sense of humour.”
Contents |
[edit] What does it mean?
Simple, really. All miscarriage means is that you didn't carry something from one point to another. In most cases, this refers to not succeeding in carrying a fetus to a place called "life".
[edit] Who Has Miscarriages?
Anyone! Miscarriages are not racist. Nor are they sexist. This is good, because if they were, then all black people and feminists would get very angry and possibly write some very mean letters. (To whom, we have no idea, apparently.) The letters would probably use curse words, and make the people reading them cry very loudly, and when their Mormon wives or husbands (again, trying not to be sexist) would try to comfort them, they, too, would get very angry (for some reason) and beat or slap them repeatedly until they drew blood. Only then would they be satisfied.
No doubt you, the reader, are thinking: "HEY1!1!1! OMG LOL MEN CANT HAEV MISCARIAEGS B/C THEY CANT HAEV BABEIS111!111! WTF." In fact, they can! The real reason men never have babies is because they are always enjoying the sport of miscarriage! Also, because only gay guys want babies. And no guy wants to be considered "gay"! That's because "being gay" has replaced "cooties" as the #1 threat in Mormon school playgrounds everywhere.
[edit] When And Where Do Miscarriages Take Place?
Miscarriages can happen anywhere, anytime. They are enjoyed most in groups of 4-8 persons, however. Also, miscarriages are most enjoyed in a public place, where you can scream loudly that you have "a dead baby floating inside of you" and how you "want it out." This also works as a great ice-breaker at parties and such.
[edit] Are Poodles Involved?
NO, POODLES ARE NOT INVOLVED, YOU IDIOT! But a number of things are involved - five, to be exact. The five things are:
- A coat-hanger
- A butcher's knife
- A food processor
- A nice jar (with a lid)
- A poodle (must be a Mormon poodle)
Once you have these things, you are ready to begin enjoying the exciting practice of miscarriage! But first, read the rules.
[edit] Rules
The following are the seven rules of miscarriage:
1. The only person you may harm in the process is yourself and the potential baby.
2. All players have the same amount of time, to begin with.
3. No looking at other players' work for tips.
4. No cheating!
5. No mixing up the steps to your advantage.
6. No changing your mind halfway through.
7. Most important rule: Have Fun!
These are the only rules required to play the exciting game of "Miscarriage". Good Luck!
