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“There are two things that I hate in this world: racism and those dirty Jews.”
Mindaugas Murza-Gervaldas (born December 16, 1973) is considered by himself (yes, no?) the best Lithuanian there ever was (neither!). No good at everything else. (or not)
He is a member of Xenu's global contract supposed to track down fledegling Scientologists and destroy them by telling them the story of Xenu before they've reached OT III (the only sure way to destroy them, and after OT III it's too late, they're indestructible save by lack of money).
Due to unfortunate genetic mutations that a small grand oepitome of Lithuanians can avoid as they're all children of the same father, Vytautas Landsbergis, Mindaugas Murza has suffered an all inclusive, paid trip to brain damage at birth and forgotten all about Xenu and his actual mission on planet Earth. He only vaguely remembers he's supposed to tell a story and track down and destroy some minority, and that's where Jews come into this picture.
Poor deluded Murza has somewhere in his path decided his mission is to find the Jewish conspiracy and destroy Jews by telling them how good a Lithuanian he is. All Jews laugh in his face when they hear this story, because they don't get the idea - that's how stupid the idea is. Besides, it's obvious that Murza is no good even as a Lithuanian because alien Xenu genes show clearly on his face and hairy hands. And besides - it's obvious already. All Lithuanians are actually Jewish. Those who are not are not descended from Landsbergis, and thus not Lithuanian.