Mimas

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Mimas deathstar

Death Star III(Mimas)

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For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mimas.
“That's no moon it's a battle station!”
~ Han Solo on Mimas
“No, it's a moon”
~ IAU on Han Solo's Mimas quote
“Who Cares?”
~ Mimas on Mimas
“Some nerd in some nerdy astronomical place ”
~ A normal person on Mimas

Mimas was originally the third version of the Galactic Empire's Death Star. After the death of Darth Vader the Empire abandoned it for the reason that the Empire can't have death star without Darth Vader. Later when the United States of America discovered that it was in fact a battle station instead of a moon they "borrowed" Mimas and continued the construction(all though the US denies these claims).

Etymology

It is a common myth that Mimas was named after a Greek God but it's actually an acronym for:

  • Major
  • Intelligence failure and a
  • Moon that is a
  • A-hole that just happens to have a
  • Super laser

Geography/design

Mimas most famous(and most important) geographical/design feature is it's large crater/super laser. Also due to it's delayed construction it has a rocky like substance on it's surface giving it the appearance of an average moon.

Battle station or a moon?

After the IAU got rid of Pluto in 2006 the IAU is now debating on the definition of a really big battle station. Under the current definition of a battle station. Till then Mimas remains a moon. However if it does not become a battle station the U.S. threatens to blow up the moon if Mimas does not gain status as a battle station.

U.S. Occupation

The U.S. claims that it's activities on Mimas is to help spread democracy to Saturn and it's moons. However Locals claim that U.S. is really occupying the moon to use the super laser. The U.S. general in charge of Mimas has said:

“We're just investigating if Mimas' super laser would be a threat to the peace and democracy of Saturn and it's moons”
~ U.S. General on Claims of U.S. constitution of super laser on Mimas

However the U.S. does not need to build it to investigate if it's a threat and also it would be a threat to not only to Saturn and it's moons but to the entire galaxy.

Ownership

The U.S. currently owns 98% of Mimases stock the other 2% is owned by Saturn for orbit and gravity usage.

To be rented by the IAU?

“The IAU has agreed to consider destroying Pluto”
~ IAU on Pluto

There are rumors of when Mimas finishes construction that Mimas will be rented by the IAU so it can destroy Pluto and it the debate on weather Pluto is a planet or a... something else. The IAU refuses to comment on this but astronomers agree that it would be a great idea to just destroy Pluto and just forget the entire debate. However many non-astronomers agree that an astronomer's job is to not blow planets up...that's a astrophysicist's job

Inhabitants

Is home to 5,000,000 people which includes:

See also

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