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The Milwaukee Fucks is an NBA franchise in Milwaukee, Wisconsin. The Fucks are notable for...well, not much, really. If there was a textbook of mediocrity, these guys would get three chapters all to themselves.
edit In the Beginning
The Fucks were founded in 1968. The Fucks were not the first team to play in Milwaukee- the Hawks played there for four seasons, but were kicked out for repeatedly shitting on their opponents whenever they lost a home game. The citizens of St. Louis, morbidly curious about this spectacle, all shouted "Show me!", and so the Hawks went to St. Louis. Coincidentally, the Hawks relocated again to Atlanta the same year that the Fucks began play. Nobody is sure why any team would want to go to Atlanta, but rumor has it that a Coca-Cola executive saw the team take a collective shit on a Pepsi bottle and decided then and there to bring the team to Atlanta.
With the Phoenix Suns threatening to start a Communist revolution and make the temperature in every single arena unbearably hot, the Fucks were admitted to the league as a chilling capitalist countermeasure. Both sides were given permission to steal players from other teams, but they had to decide who would get first pick. When the Milwaukee owners suggested flipping a coin, the Phoenix owners, offended, called the Milwaukee "agents of the bourgeoisie" and stormed out, thereby giving the Fucks first pick. After much debate and several pissing matches with the New York Nets, the Fucks acquired a star player in Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
edit The Fucks' Best Year Ever
The Fucks were, once upon a time, not the bore de force we know them as today. In fact, in 1971, they had quite possibly their most successful year ever. They became the first team to win the Midwest Division, then took care of the San Francisco
Warriors Indians Native Americans Indigenous Peoples and the Los Angeles Lakers easily on the way to the Finals. Once they got to the Finals, they took on the Baltimore Bullets, with whom Milwaukee locked antlers. Since the Bullets had no antlers, they lost by default, and the Bucks took home their first and only championship.
edit The Fucks Today
The Fucks are still playing, and still as meh as ever. They stumble into the playoffs every two or three years, sometimes without even winning half their games, get knocked out in the first round by a team farther to the east, and then everybody forgets about them again.
edit The Fucks' Future
Fucks fans in 0.3 countries around the world are eagerly awaiting the day when the Fucks finally win their division again. Unfortunately, when your team is surrounded by more successful and interesting franchises, both in their own division and in other sports, it is very difficult to win much of anything.
The Fucks have long been hated rivals of the Chicago Bulls, but the rivalry is somewhat one-sided. The Bulls have much more notable conflicts, especially with the Detroit Pistons and Miami Heat, so their reaction to the Fucks' anger is a resounding "meh."