Milton Babbitt

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Milton Bradley "Uncle Milty" Babbit (March 14, 1732-February 29, 1969) best known as the drummer for the southern rock phenomenon Lynyrd Skynyrd, also great grandfather of Travis Babbit (who is emo)and invented the orange juicer in 1769 and the mercury enema in 1923. He is well known for the infamous and controversial quote "My life hinges on you listening".

During his rather long life he never learned to read or write too well, but he could play the guitar just like ringing a bell. In fact it was his bell playing that earned his position in various bands. Eventually he woke up behind the drum kit of Lynyrd Skynyrd in the early 1940's, and then went back to sleep. He penned their concert favorite Philomel which is the universal answer to the old concert question "What is it you want to hear?"

[edit] Burly Early Days

Born to father Chubby "Chinese" Checkers and mother Pearl Buck-Bailey in the upstate New York town of Asswhupitonnock, the young Milty was a heavyset child with a natural tendency to break bones and chew on concrete. he showed little musical talent unless it was for wailing as he strummed a hound dog's belly with his nose.

[edit] Angry Notes

However, one day his father handed him a guitar. Milty immediately sat on it, producing an E-flat-seventh chord with his left buttock. His father rushed him to the emergency room in Blochunxikinnick, and the guitar was extracted from Milty's colon without complications. His father subsequently bought him a drum kit, reasoning that it was just too large to fit where the guitar had gone. 7-year-old Milty then joined Lynyrd Skynyrd (at that time simply called The Four Y's In Search Of Some Consonants).

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