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For those without comedic tastes, the self-proclaimed experts at Wikipedia have an article about Milka.
“They took me to the udder side”
~ Adolf Hitler on Milka
“Bow to me mooooortalls!”
~ Milka on humans

The notorious Milka

Milka is the codename for a German cow's world domination plan. The plan is to introduce powerful bovine hormones in the human body thus turning mankind into cows. We don't have a clear idea of how many have already been infected but this poses as a serious threat to all of us. Our scientists have started working on a counter-agent to cure infected civilians.

edit The beginning

In the early years of the 20th century a certain Eva Milka GrassBiteUndMunchen was under the custody of one Adolf Hitler, a young painter with disturbing visions about the future of art and German politics. The cow suffered some years because Hitler always used her as a way of expressing himself. Milka managed to escape and take refuge in the Swiss Alps during the first months of World War I. After the war, she had seen enough of man's stupidity and decided to put an end to it. And what better way to make man pay than to turn him into a bovine?

edit Revenge

After many years of human genetics research Milka finally devised a plan to make her dream come to life by carefully isolating a cow gene thingy and coming up with a way to make it combine with human DNA when the two come in contact. Now all she needed was a method to make people put the damn thing in their bodies by goodwill. That was the easy part, everybody eats chocolate, chocolate is made with milk, Milka was a cow(oh come on, don't tel me you don't get it. Idiot).

edit Present day


Already infected citizen

Today everybody knows Milka chocolate brand and as time passes the number of human-cow changes are growing at an alarming pace. The good news is that we managed to discover Milka's secret Alpine headquarters and special agents are being trained to milk the evil out of her as we speak.

Our sources tell us that there are a number of Milka chocolate factories spread throughout Europe. We also know that Milka uses brainwashed-zombie-woodland animals to work in her evil factories. The typical Milka factory slave is the marmot but there are also bears, eagles and moles. Another of her slaves are Indians whose stupid religion make them believe that Milka is some kind of messiah.

Indian elephant warmachine

edit See also

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