Mike Stephenson

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
For the religious among us who choose to believe lies, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Mike Stephenson.

Mike "Stevo" Stephenson was born in Dewsbury in 1949 making him Britain's oldest ever Dewsburyman. He began making himself known as a Hunslet Hawks ragby league star in 1968, when he turned up for an open game detracting himself from his usual hobby/job of bear baiting.

edit Career

Stephenson took to the game of ragby league like a fish to water. It wasn't long before Dewsbury, then the biggest ragby league side in the world (yes, even bigger than the Batley Bulldogs) offered him a job. Stephenson couldn't turn down the opportunity to play for his hometown club. He scored 15.7 tries in 8 games for Dewsbury in his first season, despite the nasty bout of Trenchfoot that hampered his game. This disease was possibly contracted from his companion, Sir. David Andrew Shepherd O.B.E. Mr Dewsbury would not be kept down, as he continued to play for 15 seasons, each time facing allegations of referee abuse or, as Stephenson would say, 'Fisting the merry-whistle-blower'. None of the allegations were true. Stephenson hung up his horse and his boots in 1983 when he finally realised that he was no longer super-quick and his mind had gone cockahoot.

Stephenson came back on the ragby league scene in 1998, becoming globally known as Mr. Super League. He hosted the sport every Friday and Saturday on Sky alongside Eddie Hemmings. Stephenson became a key figure in ragby leagues battles against poverty, mainly in St. Helens, but let's face it....Saints is a shit hole.

Stephenson has been seen scouting Hollywoods, Beverly Hills alongside Shania Twain and Joan Rivers, fueling speculation that he could be the star of new US sitcom 'The Dewsbury Hillbillies'.

The former star has also just released a new clothing range called Superb, and many of Wakefield's local slags can be seen sporting the 'gear' to Belle Vue at weekends.

edit Breaking News on the 'Mr. Superleague' Front!

Funnyman and cult hero Mike 'the Dewsburyman' Stephenson has been murdered whilst on a trip across the pennines to Leeds. Just outside of the Headingly Carnige Stadium, Stephenson was happyslapped by a bunch of Yorkshire wifebeaters, known to police in the area. He was then mauled to death by a bald individual, who was around 6ft, muscular, and in his late twenties or early thirties. The suspect spoke with a Yorkshire accent and it is thought to be a vengeful killing. The dirty deed was done with a pair of bacon tongs, a common device used in Yorkshire to kill pigs when they are not ensconced in the viewing of Emmerdale or shows of that caliber. The suspect is known in the local area and a reenactment image has been created to show what the incident may have looked like - an actor has been used in place of the late Mike Stephenson.

It is thought that the unwarranted attack was committed by this man, who for medicinal purposes cannot be named, as he was labelled "DAMB!!" by the contraversial Stephenson.

edit Recent Update!

We have seen in recent minutes that Mike Stephenson has emerged from a local public hostel (pub to non-upper class Yorkshire pissheads) known as the Jon Sharp.

Reports had been fueling chat rooms that Mike had been 'done in' by Grant Mitchell lookalike and Leeds thug, Kieth Senior. That was not the case as Senior was too DAMB!! to check the condition of the fallen Stevo after he attempted to gauge out his throat with the suspect weapon.

Personal tools