Microwave
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- This article is about waves that are micro. If you are interested in reading about a Microwave oven, then you're a total retard.
"Whoah, dude! I hit a microwave on my new board, dude!"
~ Douglas Adams on Microwaves
"AAAAAAAAA!"
~A Hamster on Microwaves
"Schweet!"
~ Sean Connery on Microwaves
“If you reverse the polarity of a microwave, it can freeze stuff really quickly.”
~ Some idiot I once talked to on microwaves
Microwaves are similar to surf except for their size - they are waves that are micro, meaning too small to surf on.
Being hit by a microwave can be devastating for a surfer. It can cause the surfer's board to spontaneously asplode, wipe out or be impounded for uncool surfing in public.
==with a certain intern's dress, but regardless, Clinton wiped out, dude. Clinton had a microwave in his pants, but that's a whole nother article that can be veiwed by seaching "micro dick."dick
Commonly overlooked, however, is the microwave which struck JFK's car from the assy knoll, immobilizing it for a better shot by Barry Scott.
| The author of this article doesn't care at all if you edit it, heck, your stuff is probably funnier than mine. |
Contents |
[edit] Furbys
Microwaves are lethal and quite amusing when applied to Furbys. See Microwave Oven.
[edit] The Innerworkings
Most microwaves have been known to expel high intensity photons that can make you grow a raccoons snout and a voice that sounds like a squirrel in a blender in the puree cycle. Most microwaves have a safety setting so that infants don't prematurely sprout hair in places they aren't supposed to have hair, like the small intestines and the outer soft tissue of the pancreas. A hairy pancreas can be very itchy and has caused over 12.373635 casualties, resulting from the patients scratching out their innards. The new-age microwaves have a simpler approach to heating food. Some use the holy beams produced by the force while others steal the energy taken from porn sites. That's why teenagers can often be found heating up "pizza rolls".
[edit] Other uses for microwaves
- To kill a Gremlin
- To reheat your wife's cooking
- To make cook your babies
- To melt together your army men
- To make little kittens heads aplode
- To turn on Michael Jackson
