Internet Explorer

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Contents 1 Loading 2 Loading... Please Wait 3 Loading... Are you still here? 4 Loading... Y'know this isn't actually a browser is just some random program that prints "Loading..." A whole lot of times 5 Internet Explorer is Not Responding 6 The piece of shit you are using has encountered problems and must close. We are proud of this inconvenience. 7 Try Internet Explorer 8 History 9 Power of Internet Explorer (PIE) 9.1 How to crash Internet Explorer 10 Windows Internet Explorer 8 10.1 Innovations 10.2 Copyright violations and piracy allegations 11 Microsoft Vision 12 Future of Internet Explorer 13 Related Articles 14 Links

[edit] History

Internet exploder continued to become shittier and shittier, with more and more spyware, and more and more like Firefox. anyway, here is version 1.0, that could only be run in MS-DOS:

[edit] Power of Internet Explorer (PIE)

Internet Explorer is one (1) of the most powerful browsers for the Internet. One of the most frequent targets of criticism of the browser is this power: it takes longer to load pages and lay them out, due to the unmatched excellence of its Trident rendering engine. The system first decides to take a piss on the screen, than steadily commences to shit all over the page. This compares to Mao Tsilla and Firefox's Gecko rendering engine, which happily scatters elements, boxes and images across the page, then turns homosexual and gets pregnant with the user. As an homage to its roots in Spyglass, IE also supports instant installation of spyware without any user intervention, whereas Firefox makes it an unnecessarily complicated process, requiring clicking at least one "OK" box. Most web developers, however, agree that Internet Explorer's greatest power comes from being able to suck infinitely more than any other browser on the market.

[edit] How to crash Internet Explorer

Simply add the following code to any webpage that allows script:
<script>for (x in document.write) { document.write(x);}</script>
or while at a webpage, enter this into the address bar:
javascript:for (x in document.write) { document.write(x);}
Here's the ultimate Internet Explorer destroyer:
crashie.freehostia.com/crashie.php

[edit] Windows Internet Explorer 8

Released Last Thursday, IE8 is Microsoft's latest parody, which is basically just like the ones before it except it encourages you to upgrade to Windows 7 to use all the features that it copied from Firefox.

In truth however, like all Internet browsers, it is based upon the 1600s Medieval French computer program, Flambé de Raynard. Flambé de Raynard was originally designed solely for downloading porn and product activation cracks.

[edit] Innovations

Sadly, like many Microsoft innovations, Internet Explorer's features are regularly stolen and illegally copied by better browsers, most notably Opera

[edit] Copyright violations and piracy allegations

The Mozilla Foundation and the Digital Rights Management Group filed a joint lawsuit against Microsoft, alleging that it copied Mozilla Firefox and, after adding code that automatically crashes Windows Explorer after an hour of use and requires that Web pages take longer than five seconds to load, rebranded it Windows Explorer. Security loopholes were also installed at the request of www.doubleclick.net. A month after the filing, Microsoft moved its headquarters to Thailand where violating copyright laws[1] is legal.

[edit] Microsoft Vision

Predating the Internet itself, Microsoft Internet Explorer is a profoundly interesting open-source Web browser developed by Bob. Unlike other browsers such as Opera and Mozilla Firefox, Internet Explorer focuses on being secure, modern, and standards-compliant. Microsoft Internet Explorer, or later in this article, Internet Explorer, should not be confused with Firefox Internet Explorer, a closed source browser created by the Firefox Communications Corporation.

Furthermore, Internet Explorer was written entirely in BASIC, and follows the primary rule of BASIC design. If a programming language or program cannot be fast, useful, efficient, or stable, at least it should be smelly. As noted in the screen-shot, Internet Explorer gives even the Japanese a run for their money. While Internet Explorer's designers claim that the program follows the Prime Directive, skeptics say that history has been altered numerous times by this megalithic, all-encompassing software.

Internet Explorer was the first Web browser to implement such features as tabbed browsing, pop-up blocking, and free complimentary spyware. It is extremely stable and is entirely bug-less. Using advanced predictive fractal algorithms it can predict the winning lottery numbers, making it the most useful browser on the planet. It can also tell the time, and feed puréed broccoli to your unborn children. If you have no unborn children, Internet Explorer will impregnate you.

IE is known around the world as the most 1337 browser on the planet. Having absolutely no holes in its programming, the internet is chock full of Clinjas willing to help Bob make the browser even more 1337. But no one is fool enough to use it.

Many consider the ActiveX component of the browser to be the finest piece of software ever written. It is rumoured the ActiveX code was written by Jesus himself as it works so damn well. ActiveX, which is believed to be a typo of ActiveSEX, is a fantastic tool that, when activated, increases your ability to view porn by up to 1000%. It is said if you leave ActiveX on for just 10 minutes, you'll have whored half the Internet's bandwidth and will end up with enough porn to last you an eternity.

Firefox's closed-source nature lends to excessive amounts of exploits and security holes being discovered and utilised, contrary to the open-source Internet Explorer.

And Opera just sucks in comparison to Internet Explorer.

The second most popular browser is Saddam Hussein's Spyglass Mosaic, used by approximately 33% of the world's Internet users and capuchin monkeys.

[edit] Future of Internet Explorer

According to Microsoft, Internet Explorer 9 will remove all unnecessary functions like My Favorites, stop button, previous/next buttons, and even the scrollbar. The only things left are the address bar, tab bar and the frame.

Internet Explorer 9 will support DirectX applets, InDirectY applets, Jarfa applets and Vlaesh animations.

The homepage will be about:mozilla.

Pop-up blocker will be even more informative: When pop-ups are blocked, 2 dialog boxes will show:

[edit] Related Articles

• Browser Wars
• Poopenheimer Mainframe Mk XII Computer
• Bob
• Pirate
• pr0n
• Mozilla Firefox
• Pedophilic Gangrape
• This Page Cannot Be Displayed
• 404
• Mojibake

[edit] Links

• Internet Explorer 7 Official Website
• Opt for Mozilla Firefox: Faster and Free'er!