Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Apple users... Unix programmers... Linux zealots... Be afraid... be very fucking afraid.

Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer is a hacking tool created by Microsoft to find and exploit vulnerabilities in Unix and Linux operating systems. Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer was Microsoft's first effort against Linux adoption. This utility, which took Microsoft four years of hard work to develop, encompasses all the original research that Microsoft's brainstorming department has done over the years, resulting in a system that allows Windows users to strike back against inexperienced Linux administrators.

Microsoft's Baseline Security Analyzer is often used by Windows and MS-DOS fans to prove that Linux is less secure than Windows.

“It's time to face the truth, Linux fans. Linux has not even made a ding in the desktop market.Your group is old, stale, redundent and full of technically inept wingnuts that are a half a keg low and wrapped way too tight.”

~ Steve Ballmer on Linux

[edit] History

Microsoft had previously developed an operating system based on UNIX, called Xenix. However, SCO stole the source code in 1987, this eventually led to epic failure for Microsoft. The Microsoft code was illegally leaked to the public, by the Santa Cruz Operation. Programmers started to compile free, modified versions of Xenix. Microsoft decided to make a hacking tool which was capable of infecting Unix systems with viruses, in order to stop adoption of Xenix clones. The open source movement, including the Free Sockpuppet Foundation, was enraged by this decision.

Versions of MBSA include:

• Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer 1.0
• Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer 2.0: Dictatorship Edition
• Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer 3.0: Starship Edition
• Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer XP Hacking Commander
• Microsoft Baseline Security Analyzer 2008: the final solution

[edit] See also

• Microsoft VirusCreator