Michael Willis

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Gay Speedo Muscles

Michael Willis, circa 2001.

“Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!”
~ Arnold Jackson on Michael Willis' explanation of pre 1900 Liberal history.

Michael Willis is an infamous boxer, supporter of David Milliband's undeniable cuteness, proprietor of a bald head, supporter of books (except his own), and of course, excellent computer technician, with some of the best pen-poking skills in the business. He has on occasion been noted for his newspaper-throwing techniques and, due to his usage of the words, is believed to have coined the terms, 'Now look!' and 'This is simply not on!'

edit Humble beginnings

Starting life as a mole, Michael left the ground to become acquainted with Oscar Wilde in 1632. The relationship, reported in the Daily Telegraph blossomed and, as many analysts acknowledge, this is the time Michael adopted a 'soft approach', as explained in his autobiography ('Get out of the cupboard in H4; it is an old joke.' ISBN 10374927129).

edit Mick the 'Skip' Willis

Michael was confident for a career in academia and teaching. After his thirteenth denial from a school, due to lack of any politics degree, Willis simply lost it and brutally murdered the Headmistress using his head butt, accentuated by his stiff, sharp hair.

In utter fear, Michael ran yet tripped up on the way out developing a weak leg; so weak that, indeed, he walked with a limp akin to a skip.

Several Bacardi shots later and several thousand kilometers on Michael Willis made it to the safe-haven of Texas. When people found out he once dated a woman (later described as a 'moment of madness'), a local crime in Texas, he encountered many local bouts which the 'Skipping fellow', as Texas Times put it, won. He soon became known as Mick the 'Skip' Willis, and went on to win several bouts in his early career. In some circles he became known as 'Knuckles'.

Michael soon found the sky was the limit and fought, and won, the 'World Heavyweight Championship.

edit Addiction to acting career


Michael's most challenging role was as Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy; but when the director heard him do "My precious!" he was a lock for the part.

Michael Willis, like many ex-sporting athletes, entered a period of demise which culminated in 2004 when he entered a Hollywood based rehab clinic.

However, Michael was heavily criticised for his 'Gollum; The Chav Years' where he tried to have the character move 'down with the kids'. In line with his dress style on non-uniform day, Michael adopted a lassiez-faire attitude to the clothing of his character. Indeed, he fitted him with one item only - a Burberry cap.

Such led to his acting downfall and Michael Willis has since returned to teaching, where we love him, really.

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