Michael Willis

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Gay Speedo Muscles

Michael Willis, circa 2001.

“Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?!”
~ Arnold Jackson on Michael Willis' explanation of pre 1900 Liberal history.

Michael Willis is an infamous boxer, supporter of David Milliband's undeniable cuteness, proprietor of a bald head, supporter of books (except his own), and of course, excellent computer technician, with some of the best pen-poking skills in the business. He has on occasion been noted for his newspaper-throwing techniques and, due to his usage of the words, is believed to have coined the terms, 'Now look!' and 'This is simply not on!'

edit Humble beginnings

Having started life as a mole, Michael left the ground to become acquainted with Oscar Wilde in 1632. The relationship, reported in the Daily Telegraph blossomed and, as many analysts acknowledge, this is the time Michael adopted a 'soft approach', as explained in his autobiography ('Get out of the cupboard in H4; it is an old joke.' ISBN 10374927129). After a 200 year period of academic enlightenment, Michael joined the Conservative party in the late 19th Century and, after falling out with Benjamin "Dizzy" Disraeli, sought to establish the Tory Green Party, the one Party to have caused the most confusion on the political spectrum ever. Having rejoined the Conservative party at some time in the 1980s, Michael developed a wider political knowledge and won the March 1985 Mastermind competition in his chosen category "The Tory Green Party". At this time, he took a relaxing beach holiday to the Maldives with his romantic fling of the day, Andrew Heywood, the author of many "well-written points." This made the decaying corpse of Master Wilde rather upset. Whilst watching a film of the late, great Marlene Dietrich, he came across a rather short, bearded German with a bit of a chip on his shoulder and a real hatred of the Old Maggie T. This jumped-up little German did however teach Willis his mantra, which become the motto of many a history class. "Workers of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your chains!"

edit Mick the 'Skip' Willis

Michael was confident for a career in academia and teaching. After his thirteenth denial from a school, due to lack of any politics degree, Willis simply lost it and brutally murdered the Headmistress using his head butt, accentuated by his stiff, sharp hair.

In utter fear, Michael ran yet tripped up on the way out developing a weak leg; so weak that, indeed, he walked with a limp akin to a skip.

Several Bacardi shots later and several thousand kilometers on Michael Willis made it to the safe-haven of Texas. When people found out he once dated a woman (later described as a 'moment of madness'), a local crime in Texas. He encountered many local bouts in which the 'Skipping fellow', as Texas Times put it, won. He soon became known as Mick the 'Skip' Willis, and went on to win several bouts in his early career. In some circles he became known as 'Knuckles', the name which he used in his debut to the World Wrestling Federation in 1995. Having won and successfully retained the WWF Championship for a record-breaking 250 times, he decided to pursue his lifelong dream of becoming a teacher.

Having pressed several Headmasters in the area surrounding London, England. He was finally accepted on the basis of being a "poor old chap".

edit Addiction to acting career


Michael's most challenging role was as Gollum in the Lord of the Rings trilogy; but when the director heard him do "My precious!" he was a lock for the part.

Michael Willis, like many ex-sporting athletes, entered a period of demise which culminated in 2004 when he entered a Hollywood based rehab clinic.

However, Michael was heavily criticised for his 'Gollum; The Chav Years' where he tried to have the character move 'down with the kids'. In line with his dress style on non-uniform day, Michael adopted a lassiez-faire attitude to the clothing of his character. Indeed, he fitted him with one item only - a Burberry cap.

Such led to his acting downfall and Michael Willis has since returned to teaching, where we love him, really.

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