Michael J Fox
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“No-one would win out of a fight between Muhammad Ali and Michael J Fox. Because of Parkinsons.”
“Mr. Fox, can I have your autograph? Oh wait...never mind...”
~ Disappointed child fan of Back to the Future
“I knew I'd made it big as an actor when he was shaking just being in my presence. ”
Michael J. "Vanilla Shake" Fox aka Marty McFly (Back To The Future)
Founder of the popular broadcast network FOX and the Liberaltarian cable news network Fox News, Michael J. Fox's short time on our planet has had a major influence on the American media as well as the hearts and minds of children everywhere. He has Parkinson's disease, and eats babies. He is one of the alter egos of Ricky Gervais, who makes up 63.7% of the world's population. He looks good in shorts.
The camera fascinated Michael with the way it could capture people's souls and trap them in his icy clutches for an eternity thereby imbuing him with the necessary power to conquer the world. But he scrapped world conquest in favour of boldly creating the first news program and the first televised comedy program (utilizing the newly discovered deposit of Wayans Brothers that had been unearthed in the mountains of Michigan).
Creating a televised news and comedy program was very groundbreaking at the time in part because television was not going to be invented for another 50 years. But such was Michael's cobbling character. He refused to allow the short-sidedness of his peers prevent him from accomplishing his dream to one day, create a reality TV show that would employ both Nicole Richie AND Paris Hilton (Gods be praised!).
As he entered high school, it was a troubled time for young Michael. While assisting a close friend with some deLorean repairs, he was whisked forward in time to the future, where he encountered his own children and the many wonders of the modern space age in 1955. After dispatching with the forces of darkness that threatened his offspring, he returned to his own time, triumphant and with many new bold ideas.
Michael also found time to star in the world's first reality TV show, Family Ties, which chronicled the events of the day-to-day lives of the young man and his family. This gritty and hard-boiled look into the inner workings of a real American family proved to be one of the defining moments in American history and the American media as well. Michael would later look back at his days on the show and ponder, "Would it have been better if they never had the baby?" That is a question historians have debated for years before moving onto things that really matter. Incidentally, Michael's dad later garnered acclaim, years after his eventual divorce, for helping Kevin Bacon fight sand worms that attempted to destroy most of the South West.
Michael's big break came when his idea for a broadcast television channel that would showcase some of the best and simultaneously worst programming mankind could have ever conceived actually came to fruition. It was a bold move, airing such groundbreaking as The Simpsons with such laughable dreck as Who Wants to Marry a Millionaire but somehow the idea seemed to resonate with the American public. This is one reason the American public must be stopped by any means necessary.
Steam-rolling off the success of that endeavour, Michael later scored even bigger points with the launch of the Liberaltarian news channel Fox News with hard-hitting reporters like Geraldo, who is not afraid to take a chair to the nose in the efforts of getting the story to the public, and self-absorbed, ego-maniacal Liberals like Bill O'Reilly who proudly state that they are in league with Satan.
It is worth noting, that Michael J. Fox has no Elvis in him.
Now in retirement at the age of 167, Michael spends his days shaking violently.
Also known as vanilla shake.
[edit] Michael's Disease
In 1991, Michael Jermane Joshua Jehova Jerry Jane Jesse Jesus Fox announced that he had come down with a serious case of "the shakes", as Fox does not know the correct term for his disease (the wiggles). He refused to take his medication, despite the fact that his disease caused him to look severely retarded, and caused him to run around in the nude screaming "The future is now!". As his condition worsened, his hair began to grow rapidly, causing him to be mistaken for "Teen Wolf", one of his greatest acting debuts. With his career going down the drain, Fox was hired as an orange juice shaker, using his trembles to the best of his ability. Fox now spends his days trying on dresses three sizes too big and poorly making arts and crafts.
[edit] Trivia and Notable Achievements
- His favorite playwright is Shakespeare
- He loves Milkshakes
- He is a member of the Quaker religious movement
- He is a member of the Shaker religious movement
- He is planning to remake the movie Tremors
- He loves chicken, especially shake and bake
- He is considered one of the bigger movers and shakers of Hollywood
- His favourite cleaning product is 'Shake and Vac'
- His favorite song is Shake Rattle and Roll, second only to Salt Shaker
- His favorie music video is Hey Ya (think about it...visit youtube if you don't remember)
- He likes his martinis shaken not stirred
- His favourite singer is Shakin Stevens
- He loves the videogame Quake
- his favourite breakfast cereal is Quaker Oats
- A hit role as an actor in the Oscar nominated 'tRanCedenZ' of David Cronenberg.
- One of the few people to have successfully gone back in time (to the future).
- Founder of Fox News and 16th Century Fox as seen in Robin Hood: Men In Tights
- Single human to have evolved from the Fox line of animals as opposed to the Ape
- ... thats about it.
- ... and he's never won at Jenga
- Michael J. Fox's Polaroids develop more quickly than yours.
- Michael J. Fox once caused a can of soda to explode in someone's face just by handing it to him.
- Michael J. Fox's cellphone is always on vibrate.
- Michael J Fox can never play Operation.
- Michael J Fox's controller doesn't need a rumble pack.
- Michael J Fox secretly does all the riffs for DragonForce.
- Michael J Fox is unaffected by turbulance on an airplane.
