Messenger

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WARNING: This article has a lot of computer humor. If you don't understand it, you aren't a geek press Alt+F4 (or ⌘-Q on a Mac)) to optimize it.

WARNING: A lot of this article seems to have been written in Engrish. This adds to the hilarity.

Pidgin linux
Pidgin. Linux Messenger
“Mazinger? What wants the damned robot now?!”
~ George Bush on messenger
“Oh! I got it. So we are talking about the Pope.”
~ George Bush on the same topic
“Seriously, This time it's true!”
~ A useless friend on messenger
“WTF!! lol!”
~ some emo teenager
“So where do u wanna meet??”
~ rapist although perceived as a 14 year old boy

edit Overview

Messenger is a cattle-driven program that sends mess to other intercom users around the globe using the system code 'Enger++++++++++plusplus'.

The principles of Messenger are realitively simple and can be shown with this simple convo'.

Messenger 1 says: 
       what are the princibles of messenger?
Messenger 2 says: 
       to mess is to message, messages create messenger.
Messenger 1 says: 
       that explains nothing
Messenger 2 says: 
       you have a a lot to learn....neo
Messenger 1 says: 
       my name is hansen
Messenger 1 left the conversation
Messenger 2 says: red or blue?

The mess sent across the globe is delivered by lightning fast carrier boar, much like a chair lift the boars are deep underground and can transfer many messages every second, depending on the amount of bytes the carrier boar can have.

Boarcarrier

  • 1 byte = approximately 8 bits of mess.
  • 8 bytes = 1 mess(age).
  • 1000 bytes = 1 kilovomit

edit The rules of Messenger

  • All conversations must work on the basic format:
1: Yo/Hey/Hello/Hi
2: Hey wasup/Yo, how's it going/Hello there, how r u?/Hi dude, u ok?
1: Not bad/Great thanks/alrite cheers
2: cool/wicked/grand
1: what you been up to/WUBU2/u had a nice day?/sup?
2: not much u?
1: same
  • The words "l337" and "hax" may only be used in highly appropriate situations.
1: I am a hax0r
2: same
  • The words "sure", "same", "lol", and "kk" are to be used as frequently as possible.
1: I am a hax0r
2: sure

edit Messenger and you

There are many exciting aspects of messenger, again shown in this conversation.

Peter says: 
        asl
Candy says: 
        19/f/ca
Peter says: 
        cool me too
Candy says: 
        cool
Peter says: 
        wanna cyber
Candy says: 
        ok
Peter says:
        *puts penis in vagina*
Candy says: 
        that felt good thx
Peter says: 
        cool
Candy says: 
        wanna meet up and get married
Peter says: 
        yeah ok
Candy says: 
        meet me at the park tommorow

And surprisingly there are some bad aspects.

i4n da l337 hax0r says: 
        send me your new hax dude
sn3aky! Ni9eL! sends:
   accept(Alt+C)  Save As...(Alt+S)  decline(Alt+D) 
i4n da l337 hax0r says: 
        sweet thx man
sn3aky! Ni9eL! says: 
        nps dude
CIA OFFICER says: 
        Caught you red handed!
i4n da l337 hax0r says: 
        shit, block him quick!

edit Messenger and them

Messenger conversations, or to the well mannered 'convo's' vary from country to country and continent to country, and visa versa, a few examples are;

The United Kingdom of Great Britain

William says: 
        Hello Roger, how are the evening classes going?
Roger says: 
        Not bad thanks William, I made a pretty bow last night
William says: 
        Spiffing, you bent?
Roger says: 
        Unbelievebly so!
William says: 
        You big poofter you!
Roger says: 
        Oh sod off!
William says: 
        Invite Peter, I heard he has a new lass.
Roger says: 
        Can't do that Bill, blocked the bastard ages ago!
William says: 
        Oh you joker you!

"not all english people talk like this....just royalty and wankers!"

The United States of USA

Randy says: 
        Surfs up!
Sandra says: 
        same
Randy says: 
        taht makes no sense
Sandra says: 
        kk
Randy says: 
        whats going on sandra????
Sandra says: 
        suuure
Randy says: 
        omg
Sandra says: 
        same


The Commonwealth of Australia

Bruce says: 
        gday bro. sup?
Chazza says: 
        smashed on goon. just unched on with sum wog cunt in parra u?
Bruce says: 
        just drank half a slab of vb n had a madd wank
Chazza says: 
        sweet as. its your bday 2moz ay? how old r u turnin?
Bruce says: 
        12

edit Related articles



edit Did you know...?

  • ...that Mr. T's Windows Live address is Staff@hotmail.com?
  • ...thanks to Messenger, Bowser could Masturbate by the first time (Peach sent him a very HOT photo!!!).
  • ...I already added you random_pie_lover@hotmail.com?.

edit Notice

We didn't write the e-mail addresses of the sample contacts (with a few exceptions) to protect their privacy (besides, their private life isn't any interesting). privacy is noy intressenting and 'hi'

edit See Also

MSN Messenger's Guide to Manners, Proper Behavior and Slapstick no

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