Threesome

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JesusOrgy

Remember: Jesus is always watching you closely

Threesome, also known as Ménage à Trois or Amour à Très (those kinky French will burn in Hell) is a major sin to be avoided. Nevertheless, it was not listed among the seven major sins in order to not give people ideas and also because seven is cooler than eight. It was forbidden in the 1st Vatican Council , along with zoophilia, dental grills and bull testicle consumption (the later changed by 2nd Vatican Council:Death To The Latin Mass). Threesome (in the name of decency, from now upon referred simply as Unholy Trinity or UT3) is not exactly a sexual position[1]..... but a seshxual situation[2]............ Ooof, but forget about the details. For you, my son, is enough knowing it's evil. Just think (without mental images): how can you have 3s after marriage if you can't marry more than one person?[3]...... Hrfhh... In sum, in order to avoid major discussion about polygamy, the Roman Catholic Church just deemed it sin because it was what those damn dirty Mormen do.

edit History

3nun

Participants in a UT3 will often feel some sort of guilt. Usually after. Guilt during means that you're doing it wrong. Really wrong.

Of course we are not like those anti-intellectual Protestants. He have all of that motherfucking Theology, in their face![4]....................... So I'm giving you some historical context. UT3 was first reported in Stone Age. Ogg and his wife Thuga - properly married, I must stress - shared a small cave chamber and had Thuga's mother Battleaxa invited for a weekend. Due the lack of illumination and the bed still having to be invented, some confusion was somewhat unavoidable - so modern Catholic theologists have a consensus that Jesus gave his retrospective mercy to this poor unenlightened family (historians suspect that not just the threesome but also the prejudice against mothers-in-law were born in that day, long lost in the dawn of time). Later on, as registered in the Holy Bible, Lott had slept with his two daughters[5]............................. Ho-hum... Well, son, that was Old Testament, full of that perverted rough play that made baby Jesus cry... so shut up![6]

..................................................................................................

Sorry, I'm getting nervous with this whip stuff. I've meant don't think, just follow, okay?

edit In Conclusion

Have a whip like this one in case temptation comes around. My back hurts like hell[7]...................................... Wooooooo... Oof!... As I was saying that's just my corruptible form. For Christ sake, I'm not saying you to flog two other persons on the bed. Flog yourself, like this............. Hrrmnnyaaahoooo!!!... See? What? Are you finding this exciting, a priest in the act of self-flagellation?... So... That means I'm taking part in a sexual relationship with you...

(Long minutes looking at the blood-coated whip)

Err, nevermind! No priest here anymore. More than that: may that f1$@$S Jesus stuck this %@#%@@ whip up into his...

Lightning Bolt

...oww...

edit See Also

edit References

  1. Writing this is quite a sacrifice for me... Four lashes in my back for writing this... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
  2. Sigh... plus three lashes. Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
  3. Giving too much details... Two lashes!
  4. Oh, no! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!
  5. That was quite graphic in my mind... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Fuck it, that hurts! Oh no... Ouch! Ouch! Ouch!...
  6. Oh, great, now blasphemy... Was it eleven or fourteen?
  7. (In tears)I said "hell"... Ouch! Ouch!... I should had taken Mom's advice and becoming an attorney... No! That's lack of faith... Shit! Ooooouch! Ouuuuch!... Ooooooouch!!!
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