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Selected anniversaries</br />

August 15: Hug People While You're on Fire Day:

  • 1,000,000 BC - Caveman introduces fire to humankind as he hugs people for help while he is on fire.
  • 410 - The Dark Ages make an unexpected appearance when the holiday finds a devoted fan-base among 5th century scholars.
  • 1800 - Napoleon invades Russia, but forgets to hug Stalin when he on fire, thus ensuring French defeat.
  • 1914 - A male servant of American architect Frank Lloyd Wright set fire to the living quarters of Wright's Wisconsin home, Taliesin, murdered seven people, and burned the living quarters to the ground. It's believed the servant was on fire and just in a huggy mood.
  • 1924 - Last "Running of the Cthulhu" in Barcelona, Spain.
  • 1947 - Ganja Gandhi raped MountBatten and molested him so much that every British bitch left India
  • 1963 - Buddhist Monks protest South Vietnam government's discriminatory policies which favor Catholics by lighting themselves on fire and hugging the Arch-Bishop.
  • 1975 - Three members of the Fantastic Four hospitalized with third degree burns after the fourth member, Johnny Storm, takes Ecstasy.
  • 1990 - playstation net id wlt from Canada "country of amazing" was born not realising he have to hug people while he is on fire.
  • 2001 - Strawberry Jesus is born to the virgin mother Penny Bain, and his disciples celebrate this date each year as Clock Day.
  • 2002 - Hug People While You're on Fire Day partially negated by Hug People While You're Wet Day
  • 2013 - While self-immolation (setting oneself on fire) was previously used as a protesting tactic to voice "Hey, This is Bad!", it now thrives as Poland's national sport, bringing in revenues of over 53 euros annually.

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Today's Featured Article - Bureaucracy

Irelandbureau

Bureaucracy "No rest for the wicked," they say. Today had been the worst day of my life: my girlfriend had killed herself and stipulated in her suicide note that she was my long lost sister, with a PS that I should get tested for AIDS. Then I had gone to the clinic to get tested, and though I had come up negative, the doctor told me that they had accidentally used a dirty needle to take the blood sample, giving me a promotional brochure featuring many different medications that I would promptly have the privilege of choosing to fit my lifestyle.

Going for the Poo Lit Surprise Best Image with this one. In the shade of her voluminous pirate hat, the receptionist glared at me like just one of the many other personal insults that she had to put up with daily. "Hi," I began. "Uh, the vending machine swallowed my coin."

"Arr, it does that."

"Can you refund me please?"

"Flavoured Carbonated Glucose Solution Supply & Affairs department, 13th floor."

"What? 13th floor? Can't you just give me the money?"

"ARR, do ye be wanting to mess with this shit‽" she said with a threatening interrobang, narrowing her non-patched eye.

I backed off a step. "I didn't mean any offense, ma'am."

"Flavoured Carbonated Glucose Solution Supply & Affairs department, 13th floor."(more...)

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