Melancholy

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Melancholy is a disease that has stumped many scientists for years. Wrongly spelt by Barack Obama in his 20s, it was labelled as official spelling when he became president in order not to get a death sentence from him. It has now become world-widely known as the disease that causes unhappiness. However, people get this disease from unhapiness.

Melancholy first appeared in 1959, the first person affected was Mr Zhide Igotinfected. The disease originated from a volcano in Madagascar as a tiny lava blob. It evolved through the ages. While we were cavemen, it was still evolving. After Mr Zhide Igotinfected got infected, he passes the disease on through hereditary and touch. Soon everyone was miserable. There was a queue in 1987 for people to get kicked by Chuck Norris just to cure the disease. Finally in 2007 most of it was vanquished. However there are some outcasts who enjoy this disease. They call themselves sadists. It is a recently known fact that n00bs are most prone to this disease. After being headshotted in a fps, they probably get this disease and become saddist. Another group of people branched off Saddists and became Extreme Sadists, later known as EMO. The leader of Evil Monkeys Only is Elmo.