From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
“Shut up, Meg.”
“Shut up, Meg.”
Meg Griffin is a character from Family Guy. She is considered the 2nd smartest character in the show (behind Brian) and the 24th most entertaining (behind (in the following order) Chris, Adam West, Lois, Brian, Quagmire, Peter, Diabeto, Stewie, Herbert the Pervert, Greased Up Deaf Guy, Peter's retarded coworker Opie, Cleveland, Joe, Bonnie, Loretta, Cleveland Jr., that one guy that keeps trying to bone his girlfriend, Brian's gay cousin Jasper, the giant squid, Sneakers O'Toole, the kid with the upside down face, Ollie Williams, and Lawrence Welk).
Meg was the unfortunate result of Lois's drunken sexcapades during the late 80's. Lois attempted to abort the unnatural spawn, but the bitch was unable die, due to the fact that her hideous features prevented anyone from coming near her to beat her to death with a bedpan. Another theory suggest that she heard the child had finger nails and couldn't go through with it- there is also something about blueberry flavored condoms. Regardless, Lois convinced Peter that the child was his, despite her tail, which was amputated, and to this day is stored safely inside a children's book placed inside a box of random, old stuff in the Griffins' basement. Having had a fairly happy childhood due to the very high amount of dope she was taking at the time, Meg grew into an overweight teenager but creepily still hot. However, at the age of 14 she was raped by the chicken that Peter hates, in a revenge rape.
Meg became a sarcastic teenager and joined youtube.com, where she posts all of her angst emo blogs, which nobody watches because nobody cares. In fact, this biography of her is pointless because nobody cares enough to look her up. However, it WILL continue pointlessly, just like her existence...
Later on in life, Meg Griffin has had enough of her 'female appearance' and goes to the doctor for the aid of a sex change. Meg-later known as Ron- becomes a gay man for the rest of his life.
Meg is a teenager who doesn't whine and complain, but she tries to rape every man she sees and has been successful on countless occasions being one of the poor souls to be raped why else would he hate America so much, thinking that they want her for her god awful body. She has great passion for Elijah Wood and a gay guy after they claim to god that they wont have sex until married. (wait he wasn't gay until he saw her.) Unfortunately, it does not seem to be going so well, as her almost terrifying face seems to destroy all in its path along with the fact she has 4 nipples, all on the same boob.
Also everyone hates her, everyone. The only Griffin more hated than Meg is Brian.
edit Beware of Meg
Meg is out to rape your family. So you better "hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband cuz she's rapin everybody out here" Also, "she's climbin in your windows. she's snatchin your people up. Tryna rape em so y'all need to hide your kids, hide your wife and hide your husband cuz she's rapin everybody out here". No one pays attention to this, though, because she's the most boring character ever invented. Behind the scenes, she has an alliance with Hitler and Seth MacFarlane to produce a spin-off of Family Guy called Meg and bore the world to death. In World War II, she was responsible for the deaths of 50 million Europeans and Cesar Milan. Meg is a anti-Semite and has recently killed Mort Goldman's wife, Muriel, and framed Diane Simmons for the murder.
edit Meg's Hit List
- Peter Griffin
- Hank Hill
- Mort Goldman
- Neil Goldman
- Your mom
- Barack Obama
- Neil Goldman again (shoving a grenade up his ass)
- That guy with the weird birthmark.(you know it kinda looks like a shower head with arms and you just..can't stop...looking at it.)
- Hayley Smith from American Dad
- Bugs Bunny
- That guy
- The other guy
- A booger
- Lisa Simpson
- Mila Kunis
- Brian Griffin