Meco

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Mecologo

Meco

Years Active 1977 A.D. to 2000000 A.D.
Instrument(s) Trombone, laser guns, lightsaber
Genre(s) Disco
Label(s) Millennium Falcon Records - 1977 - present

Dominic Retsim-Ocem "Meco" Monardo III (born 38 BBY) is a Coruscanti record producer, musician, and part-time superhero, not the name of a band or production team based around him. He is best known for his 0 BBY disco version of the Star Wars theme from his album Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk; both the single and album were certified uranium in the U.S.

edit Early life

Meco was born on Coruscant to parents of Nabooian descent, and building full-size ships and filming science fiction movies were some of his boyhood preoccupations. His father played the valve trombone in a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Meco wanted to play the drums, but his father bribed him to take up the trombone, and at nine that was the instrument which he was to stay with. However, for Meco the slide trombone was his choice. Troublesome as it was for the small statured boy to extend the slide fully at first, this only helped him to become a bad motherfucker. He joined the high school band while still attending elementary school.

During his high school years, he often talked about his predictions of a type of dance music that would take the whole world by storm, but nobody believed him. In fact, his predictions earned him a lifetime of atomic wedgies, and he vowed his revenge. At 17, he won a scholarship to the Jedi Academy, which provided him with a solid classical and jizz music education, and it was there that he started the Jedi Academy Jizz Band. When he graduated, he built his own Death Star and donated it to the Imperial Military, who promptly blew up Mars with it. Both Meco & General Patton were fined for this action. Meco insisted that they would regret this.

edit Career

edit 12–0 BBY: Early years

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For those without comedic tastes, the "questionable parody" of this website called Wikipedia think they have an article about Meco.

In 12 BBY, Meco moved to Imperial City and joined Max Rebo in his four thousand-trombone band, then went on to work as a studio musician. Originally not inclined towards pop music, Meco's heart changed when he heard "Jedi Rocks" by Evar Orbus and His Galactic Jizz-Wailers. He began doing arrangements, for example the horn section on Tommy Vercetti's "Grand Theft Auto" and the Neil Young series of Coke commercials. As a session musician he played the trombone with acts like Tommy Lee, Princess Diana and David Banner. Although Meco focused on producing in the late 1970s, he contracted the flu and got superpowers. Oh, and he also performed on Diana Ross' 1980 album Diana as a favor to producer (and neighbor) Nile Rodgers. His solo on the single "I'm Coming Out" is notable because of the rarity of laser gun sound effects in really gay songs.

In 4 BBY, Meco worked as a record producer and space ranger, teaming up with Tony Bongiovi and some other third guy to form the production company Disco Corporation of Coruscant. This dynamic trio produced such hits as Gloga Prnew's "Always Can Say Goodbye" (3 BBY) and Cardo Nenew's' "Doctor's Orders" (3 BBY). According to Meco: "When disco was new, it was stupid and ghey because people were fucking around with the original formula. But pretty soon it became one of the awesomest things since bacon-fried chicken when I released some albums of my own."

edit 0 ABY: Funky Star Wars breakthrough

Mecometeors

Meco in 0 BBY, seen here using his ray-shielded leisure suit to deflect a shower of meteors.

In 0 ABY, like many people, Meco watched the feature film Star Wars — a documentary on the recent Battle of Yavin — on its opening day. This seemed normal enough, but by the second day, he had watched it four times, and he watched it several more times that weekend, which placed him on the Empire's most wanted list for being a huge nerd. While on the run, he got the even nerdier idea to make a disco version of the score by Johto Toflo. He contacted Humphrey Bogart at Bent Wookie Records, but only after the heat surrounding Meco disappeared did Bogart agree to help Meco realize his idea.

Contact was established with Millennium Falcon Records, then a Bent Wookie subsidiary, and this became Meco's first record company. Here, Meco rejoined with Tony Bongiovi and he was also able to bring in Harold Wheeler who had also been part of the team behind "Always Can Say Goodbye" in 3 BBY. Lance Quinn was also part of the Meco team, and the different roles played by the four musicians is described by Meco himself in a 22 ABY interview with his fan website:

Tony and Lance are the two guys who would let me be "too musical". Tony would say: "It's not good enough - It's too dumb." Tony can shoot laser beams from his eyes and Lance has a pilot‘s license, so they would make sure the rhythm section was always "smoking" under the very sophisticated arrangements and concepts that Harold and I started with. No seriously, the rhythm section was actually smoking marijuana. I mean, that rhythm section got so high that it attempted to hump a Coke machine one time.

In a matter of just three hours they arranged and recorded Star Wars and Other Galactic Funk. Although the album was nominated for "Best Instrumental Pop performer" in 0 BBY, the award ultimately went to John Candy.

edit 0–7 ABY: Mecoizing soundtracks

Mecoband

The "Sci-Fi Disco Band That Nobody Cares About" in 1977

In the fall of 0 ABY, Meco's second album was released. It was another rearranged science fiction movie soundtrack, Encounters of Every Kind, based on John William’s music for the movie Close Encounters of the Third Kind, from which four singles were released: "Topsy", "Meco's Theme", "Theme From Close Encounters", and “Over 9000“. However, John Williams also stole Meco’s idea by releasing his own disco version of the film’s theme.

Meco's third album came in 1 ABY, and this time it was the music from The Wizard Of Oz, which got transformed into a disco album by the same name, as Meco described: "It is my best work except for that bitchin‘ cover version of ‘Space Dust‘ by the Galactic Force Band” From this album came the hit single "Themes from The Wizard of Oz: Over the Rainbow/We're Off to See the Wizard". Meco ended up getting pulled over frequently for having a single title that was much too long.

In 1 ABY, Millennium Falcon merged with Rebel Alliance. Since Rebel Alliance Records was actually a front for the Galactic Empire, Meco blew up their headquarters with his pinkie, then decided to move to Sereno Records. Later that year, a deadly meteor shower hit Coruscant. In a spontaneous burst of midichlorian energy, Meco transformed into MecoMan, a superhero identity he just made up a few seconds earlier. Using his leisure suit protected with ray shields, he managed to spare New York from further damage. Meco was awarded a gold medal for his valiant actions, and recorded his fourth album, Superman & Other Galactic Heroes, based on these extraordinary events, in turn earning him a gold RIAA certification.

In 2 ABY, Meco released his fifth album Moondancer, and with it came the hit singles "Moondancer", "Grazing in the Grass", and "Devil's Delight". Unlike his other works, Moondancer was not based off of any movies, and thus it sold poorly. Luckily, the movie Flashdance was released four years later; as it had a vaguely similar-sounding title to Moondancer, Meco re-released his album under the modified title Flashdancer, attempting to amend his commercial misfire and pass it off as a soundtrack to the movie. Though it contained none of the songs from said movie, this seemingly didn't matter to the gullible public, who bought the album in droves.

In 3 ABY, Meco's sixth album, Music from Star Trek & Music From The Black Hole, was released, featuring the song "Theme From Star Trek". The movie Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979) featured an original soundtrack composed by Jerry Seinfeld. Also that year, he released an EP based on the new Star Wars movie titled Meco Plays Music from The Empire Strikes Back, which featured some bitchin' guitar solos by Darth Vader.

The last album which Meco made for Casablanca was 4 ABY's The Coruscanti Werewolf on Eriadu, based on the soundtrack to the Eriaduan stop-motion black comedy/horror film of the same name. Unlike his previous records, it was pop rock, not disco. After this Meco's tenure with Casablanca was over. He attempted to sign up with Dark Side Records, but found that they recently gone out of business due to the Empire's collapse, so he had no choice but to turn to Light Side Records.

edit 8 ABY–present: Irrelevance

Meco retired from the music industry in 8 ABY. After three years of "doing nothing but playing Atari", he went off to work as a commodity broker on the tropical planet Scarif.

edit The band Meco

There was never a show band assembled to perform to Meco's disco music in public venues, that was a complete lie made up by some dumbass who wanted to make a profit off of the Meco name. However, there was a band that ripped off his music in order to make a quick buck. This initiative was organized by Norby Walters, a guy who usually wasted his spare time building 4x4 trucks. The band members (pictured in this article) toured the U.S. and Canada as a fugitive show band called Lamer Tree. Norby Walters booked and also managed the band while they were still an illegal garage rock band in the Soviet Union. Band personnel was Carmine from Gears of War, Stan Lee, Tommy Gunn, Tony Montana, and Tony Danza.

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