McAfee

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

Jump to: navigation, search
McAfee AntiVirus
Example alt text
"Gees, Mistah, it would be a shame if somethin' were to happen to your nice computer dere."
Developers McAfee
Stable release v69.69 Annoying pop-up edition
Type Virus

McAfee AntiVirus is a suite of computer viruses ingeniously disguised to look like computer virus scanners. McAfee often induce$ manufacturers to pre-install AntiVirus on new computers, and it in turn pops up constantly and deliberately scares you into buying more McAfee products. McAfee AntiVirus was created in 1987 by John McAfee, who dreamed of creating the slowest, buggiest and least effective software known to mankind.

edit Features

The 2013 edition of VirusScan Plus omits antivirus, firewall and anti-spyware capabilities.

It, amongst other things;

  • Loads 10GB of data into the RAM at startup (What, you don't have that much? Tough.)
  • Scans every webpage you visit on the fly
  • Pretends that there is spyware on the user's machine, then scares the user into paying money to make it go away
  • Stops l33t hack0rz from hacking into your personal porn collection
  • Allows John McAfee to hack into your personal porn collection

edit Product reviews

Sooper ultra computer magazine gave the software 11 out of 10 stars, saying "Finally, my computer is protected from all of the viruses on the interwebs!" However, an actual magazine concluded that "McAfee is slow, buggy and outdated." The author then died in suspicious circumnstances.

edit Controversy

McAfee created controversy when, in 2010, it incorrectly identified Mozilla Firefox and Google Chrome as viruses - this was later revealed to be the result of a deal between Bill Gates and John McAfee to increase Internet Explorer's market share. Also, a bug was found that could potentially reformat the user's hard drive. McAfee responded by saying that the bug was not serious and that they were too busy making plans for world domination to fix it.

Personal tools
projects