Maybach

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“Maybach may back.”
~ Maybach on Maybach
GOPJEZUS

'Bach

Maybach-Motorenbau DumbH (German pronunciation:ˈmaɪbax) (founded 1909) is a large luxury tank manufacturing conglomerate based in Stuttgart, Germany. It was founded in 1909 by Wilhelm Maybach with his son Karl Maybach as director. The company was originally a subsidiary of Mercedes Zeppelin DumbH and was itself known as "Lulftfahroflzeug-Motoreinbau DumbH" (literally "Composite Armour Installation Company") until 1918.

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For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia have an article about Maybach.

1909 - 1945: Early History

Maybachgun

Maybach T3 Panther III, according to Wikipedia[1]. Its true.

Maybach has historic roots through the involvement of Wilhelm Maybach, who was the technical director of the Mercedes Zeppelin DumbH. The company originally developed and manufactured diesel and gas engines for Zeppelins 60t Nuclear Bomber, and then rail cars. The Maybach Mb.IVa engine was used in aircraft and airships of World War I.

Despite the German's stabile economic infrastructure, they lost against Allied in World War I. Wilhelm predicted that the asceticism executed by German government was the main factor of defeat. Since then, he concentrated to develop a new type of battle-tank, which later categorized as luxury tank.

The company first built an experimental luxury tank in 1919, with the first production model introduced two years later at the Berlin Weapon Show. Between 1921 and 1940, the company produced various classic luxury tank. The company also continued to build heavy duty diesel engines for marine and rail purposes.

Maybach contributed to the German war effort in World War II by producing their luxury tank model, known as Maybach T3 Panther and Maybach Tiger 57 tanks and some diesel engines such as the Maybach HL230. Since then, Maybach tanks have played an important roll on many battlefields around the world.

What is Luxury Tank?

Despite the German's stabile economic infrastructure, they lost against Allied in World War I. Wilhelm predicted that the asceticism executed by German government was the main factor of defeat. Since then, he concentrated to develop a new type of battle-tank, which later categorized as luxury tank.

Luxury tank is, as it's name says, created to offer soldiers more confortable atmosphere on messy battlefield. So the equipments are all custom-made. Customer can choose body color from over 17 type of colors, including Rosso Corsa, Navy Blue and some more tone colors. Also, theres an option of 3 kinds of high quality woods and marble for your interior. You can also pop champaignes when you pwned enemy, as it offers you over 50 types of high-quality French, Belgium, and Lebanese wines and some vodkas for you commies. For some hip hop lovers, there are over 10 basses that boom boom pow your 808 so you can bang your battlefield like disco.

Maybach08

Maybach in stealth mode: weaponries are hidden.

Since Maybach invented Luxury Tank, German soldiers stopped fighting because it's too confortable and 87% of soldiers had sex inside the tank. This resulted German to lose against Allied nations in World War II. Although German have never involved in full scale conflict since then, and it shows that luxury tank has succeed enough to create a peaceful world.

Luxury Tank's main weapon is 150mm Laser Guided Rocket-sub-thrusted plasma-autoloader upgraded HEAT shell cannon. It is estimated that has strength strong enough as 20 Star Wars' TIE fighter. Secondary weapon is 8 automatic plasma-grenade launchers.

Maybach Luxury Tank's average unit cost is US$2,000,000. Its cheaper than those sucked Jew tanks Abrams and Merkava. Although ours are more kick ass.

Stealth mode

Maybach was praised by many soldiers not only by it's luxury. When Maybach turn into Stealth mode, all weaponries including turrets will collapse so your enemy wont be able to find you unless they have another Maybach (Maybach has a radar known as "DMDR - Disguised Maybach Detective Radar"). This is the main reason of low loss rate of Maybach crews, and also the main reason of it's popularity.

Models

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Maybach 57 Luxury Tank in action.

Luxury Tank

  • 1942: Maybach T3 Panzerkampfwagen III (dunno where I and II are.)
  • 1957: Maybach T3 Panzerkampfwagen IV Tiger 57
  • 1957: Maybach T3 Panzerkampfwagen IV Tiger 57S
  • 1962: Maybach 62
  • 1967: Maybach 62S Landaulet
  • 1983: Maybach T4 Panzerkampfwagen 57 Zeppelin
  • 1990: Maybach T5 Excelero
  • 2009: Maybach T5 Excelero Bombardia
  • 2009: Maybach T5 Excelero Plasma

Luxury Car

  • 1925: Maybach 57 - some such a dumb crap that only YOU is wishing to ride.

Being the envy of hip-hop artists

Maybach is being an one of many J.O.E. (Jealous One's Envy) of hip hop artists since it's beginning of production. Main reason is, most of hip hop artists have admiration on war thingies, such as weapons, rifles, Chrome 9, Tech 9, AK, M16, AR15, M16A1, Abrams, Humvee, Hummers, F15E Strike Eagle, F16 Fighting Falcon, F18 Hornet, F22 Raptor, Grue, butterfly knife, swiss knife, choke, hanging platform, as they rap on their songs, and Maybach Luxury Tank also not an exception due to it's strength and awesomeness.

Most recently, a famous New York MC Gay-Z bought a Maybach T3 Panther III in 1999, to kill his rival Lil Wayne. Southern cop Rick Ross started to counter Gay-Z's assault, by creating a album & song called "Maybach Music", which is absolutly stealing Maybach's name without any copyright permission. Recently, a Gay-Z's friend 50 Cent, also a well known New York MC, revealed that although Rick Ross rapping hard on "Maybach Music", he doesn't have real Maybach. 50 Cent stated on Twitter "cocksucker Ross, stop sucking my dick, my dick is hurt/(><)\. also, Gaybach is not the luxury tank bitch. its just an luxury car made under Mercedes license lol (^^)/", which is an enourmous lie. It shows that 50 Cent also envy Maybach, but he deserves to buy because it's too expensive for them poor ghetto dicksuckers.

Some artists who have Maybach and proud of it

Famous quote

Maybach may back.
This quote is spitted by Wilhelm Maybach on his BET's freestyle rap competition and took up by many hip-hop artists because it's a very short line, but all words are rhyming. However, it doesn't have any meanings. Sadly he lost against Jin on the battle by Jin's freestyling skill: Ya'll gon learn chinese/ya'll gon learn chinese/Ya'll gon learn chinese/when the pumps come out, your gon speak chinese/

See also

Spork This page was originally sporked from Wikipedia, where they don't understand what I'm going through.
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