Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/May 25

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May 25: National Pork Products Day (Israel)

• 14 BC - Leeroy Jenkins declares "At least I still have chicken."
• 2000 BC - Moses opens first Piggly Wiggly with the goal of "Bringin' Chitterlings to all my Peeps!"
• 402 BC - The towel is invented, to protect oneself from the great LUEshi rampage.
• 1029 - The Black Plague makes its first appearance in a small gig in Eastern Indonesia.
• 1492 - Christopher Columbus realizes that he forgot his wallet back in Spain.
• 1840 - Oscar Wilde kills Lord Byron in what was billed as the Spat in the Flat.
• 1852 - The knowledge of towel making is mysteriously lost. Pandemonium ensues for the next three decades.
• 1895 - Playwright, poet and novelist Oscar Wilde is convicted of "committing acts of gross indecency with other male persons" and sentenced to serve two years in prison. He comments: "If you strike me down, I shall become more powerful than you could possibly imagine", a line later shamelessly plagarized by Obi-Wan Kenobi.
• 1936 - Hitler starts the Funky Panzer dance craze, which begins to take Europe by storm.
• 1942 - Helen G. White announces that the end of the world was posponed once again due to rain.
• 1955 - Hyenas take over french government.
• 1977 - God creates Funk.
• 1978 - And He saw it was goooooood.
• 1980 - Towels are rediscovered.
• 1982 - Pac Man fever kills 20 million americans in just a few weeks.
• 1987 - Marijuana becomes the most cultivated plant ever, displacing the potatoe from top one for a few weeks.
• 1993 - AB Logic are found guilty of crimes against music and are condemned to death by choking on artichokes
• 2001.5 - International "Hug a Goombie" Day founded
• 2002 - Mutant Goombie Children are found in a puddle. Government and other such officials blamed.
• 2003 - First smart move made ever by a Government, Governments everywhere are officially disbanded.
• 2007 - Jerry Springer attacked by Trailer Park Midgets.
• 2039 - The Simpsons celebrates its 40th season on FOX. In the season premiere, Homer strangles Bart, Lisa is depressed, Maggie is still a god damn baby and Marge is dead from suicide.
• 2387 - Somalian Space pirates take over the galaxy