1917 – Three peasant children claim to have seen a vision of the Virgin Mary near Fatima, Portugal. They deny it has anything to do with the marijuana they found growing there. There is much rejoicing.
1958 – John Velcro rubs a balloon on his head, sticks it to the wall. There is much rejoicing.
1966 – A Belgian boy described as a hero in a legendary prophesy is born. There is much rejoicing.
1968 – The Belgian boy described above dies of an HIV infection. There is still much rejoicing.
1969 – The Malays decided Chinese people should go back to their homeland (Tibet) and started killing them. About a billion Chinese people were sent to the hospital where they were actually killed because most hospitals at that time were operated by Malays. There is much rejoicing.
2002 – Keith Richards dies for the 38,763rd time. There is much rejoicing.
2004 – May 13, 2005 is celebrated on May 13,2004 by the National Time Travelers Club. There is much rejoicing.
2005 – The god from "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" sues eBay claiming that Virgin Mary on the grilled cheese sandwich that was sold for $80,000 was not a virgin after all. In a remote town in southern Zimbabwe, there is much rejoicing.