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- 1497 - Amerigo Vespucci invents the scooter.
- 1512 - The Male German Eruct Choir is founded by Johann Sebastian Mastropiero.
- 1865 - American Civil War: latest score 23-47, Confederates on 4th and 10, no time outs remaining.
- 1940 - Adolf Hitler sends the German Army to vacation in France and Belgium.
- 1972 - The Day the Earth stood still.
- 1979 - The tiny Federated States of Micronesia is accidently squashed by a hippo.
- 1994 - Eclipse of the Sun caused by Pamela Anderson over most of Norway.
- 1985 - Live Aid Concerts announced, starving Africans rejoice knowing that in twenty years time poverty will be eradicated.
- 2004 - Cheap Christmas trees on sale spotted in IKEA.
- 2005 - Live 8 Concerts announced, Bush & Blair promise this time things will be different.
- 2006 - National Step-Mothers-in-Law Day in the USA, organised by TAMIR (The Association for Most Ignored Relatives). They later set up National Younger Half-Brother Day, and National Grandfather's-21-Year-Old-Girlfriend Day
- 2006 - Africa officially on a diet, it's not hunger, see pop stars have saved the world !!
- 2007 - Pokemon Olive a pokemon game is supposed to come out. Buy that shit Nigga.
- 2008 - James Madison rises from the dead to reclaim his throne as the greatest person ever. (Other then Oscar Wilde and Chuck Norris.
- 2037 - Young MC turns 70. Irony threatens Earth's existence.