Matt Smith

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Floppy haired Matt Smith.

edit Who

Matt Smith is a 20-year-old British actor best know for playing the Eleventh Doctor since April 2010, in the BBC' s answer to how they would they be affected by the recession, Doctor Who.

Smith, best known for his role as the shelf-stacker in his local Asda with practically no former acting experience, landed the part of the Doctor in January 2010, replacing the far superior and obesely more popular David Tennant, who departed the program after three years in the role. It is rumoured that Tennant quit the show upon watching an episode for the first time and at last realizing what The Guardian meant by 'cheap and uninspiring television - no, for once we're not talking about Holby City'.

edit What

Smith admitted after his appointment that he had never watched the show before, and stated that if what the TV guides were saying was true, he would never hope to do so either. This caused approximately 78% of brainwashed Who fans to instantly detest him. It is currently believed that this hatred was mainly down to the fact Matt was still going through puberty at the time of casting. Thousands of obsessive old women and whinging 13-year-olds arrived outside the BBC Television Studios to stage a protest, claiming that they would only leave as soon as Smith's voice broke.

Things didn't get much better as time went on - a 2011 poll by News of the World revealing that Smith had received the most death threats of any celebrity in Great Britain the previous year. Then again, it was News of the World, so they may as well have been recording the number of condom sales in Southern Slovakia for all anyone cares. The newspaper was then closed down by Rupert 'Dalek' Murdoch.

edit Where

Matt made his debut as the Doctor in an episode entitled 'The Eleventh Time This Year The BBC Has Really Fucked Up'. It was penned by showrunner and part-time pimp Steven MacMoffat, and portrayed Smith's character as a space-faring twerp with ADHD and nearing life-threatening bipolar disorder. MacMoffat was quoted after the episode's broadcast as saying (in trademark fashion, being the Scottish gimp that he is), "It doesn't bloody matter if ee kill Matt off any time soon, oout like. Production team've got Joanna Lumley lined up for next Doctor, innet?"

edit When

But then Matt met a girl from Québec named Marie-Ève with who he fell madly in love with and they got married. She didn't care no one else likes him because she thought he was the coolest guy ever. And she loved his jawline. She really, really did.

edit Why

In May 2013 Matt said he was leaving the TARDIS and was now going on to some serious thespian work. The BBC said they would advertise for the new Doctor on YouTube. Candidates would have to upload a 30 second clip outlining why they were the best candidate. So far 1,000 videos of cats have been sent in.

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