Mathematician

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{{Whoops|Mathemagician}}
 
{{Whoops|Mathemagician}}
A '''mathematician''' (not to be confused with [[Mathemagician]]) is a complicated mechanism for turning [[coffee]] into [[theorem]]s (except for the rare oxygenarians). Because coffee is generally a much more useful commodity than theorems, most [[human]]s believe that mathematicians are useless. Nevertheless, they are produced in significant quantities, especially in [[Russia]]. However, this may be due to the improvement introduced by the Russians, namely that Russian mathematicians may substitute [[tea]] for coffee as fuel. Due to the sad fact they were contructed for this purpose theoretic probablilty predicts an infintesimal chance of getting [[laid]]
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A '''mathematician''' (not to be confused with [[Mathemagician]]) is a complicated mechanism for turning [[coffee]] into [[theorem]]s (except for the rare oxygenarians). Because coffee is generally a much more useful commodity than theorems, most [[human]]s believe that mathematicians are useless. Nevertheless, they are produced in significant quantities, especially in [[Russia]]. However, this may be due to the improvement introduced by the Russians, namely that Russian mathematicians may substitute [[tea]] for coffee as fuel. Due to the sad fact they were contructed for this purpose theoretic probablilty predicts an infintesimal chance of getting [[laid]].
   
 
==History==
 
==History==

Latest revision as of 18:54, November 6, 2012

Whoops! Maybe you were looking for Mathemagician?

A mathematician (not to be confused with Mathemagician) is a complicated mechanism for turning coffee into theorems (except for the rare oxygenarians). Because coffee is generally a much more useful commodity than theorems, most humans believe that mathematicians are useless. Nevertheless, they are produced in significant quantities, especially in Russia. However, this may be due to the improvement introduced by the Russians, namely that Russian mathematicians may substitute tea for coffee as fuel. Due to the sad fact they were contructed for this purpose theoretic probablilty predicts an infintesimal chance of getting laid.

edit History

The mathematician was invented by a well-known physicist in 1066. For a long time afterwards, mathematician production was confined to Hungary, as no one except physicists needed theorems. However, when the rest of the world recognized the usefulness of the laws of physics, they started importing mathematicians from Hungary. Soon, however, most countries (with the possible exception of the United States of America) realized that domestic mathematician production was cheaper, because of the need to otherwise indefinitely pay patent royalties to Hungary. Thus, mathematicians are now produced in small quantities in most countries of the world, despite being loathed by God.

edit Structure

A mathematician consists of a coffee uptake valve, a steam engine, and a caffeine converter, as well as a positronic brain used to generate theorems. The other parts of mathematicians are specifically (but not very well) designed to help them blend into the general population.

Mathematicians may easily be mistaken for humans at first glance. However, even if the characteristic lack of a prehensile tail is hidden in the mathematician's pants, it is relatively easy to deduce that a mathematician is not human. Because they are very specialized machines, mathematicians will usually forget anything they are told that doesn't specifically relate to their function. They also tend not to be able to use their hands, except occasionally for typing and/or masturbating, because they can't get laid any other way.

edit Class

Mathematician 17 Int 5 Cha 8 Con 13 Dex 18 Wiz 6 Str +2" to penis size Immune to all mind control and psi effects. Can use "Help with Homework" as a standard action, which will raise all Cha checks by 2 for 1 week against a single target

A mathematician is one of the available classes in World of Nerdcraft, generally considered one of the more difficult to play as well as one of the more powerful. Mathematicians generally suffer from a low Charisma, but make up for it through relatively high Int as well as other special abilities.

In order to beat World of Nerdcraft you have to complete the "Have Sex" quest. In order to do this you need to complete the "Help Jock With Homework" quest. Then, speak to the guildmaster, and he will tell you that, despite having Asian parents who want you to marry after 23, sex is, in fact, important to your development. You will then be presented with an option box where you will choose "why not" or "be a sad virgin until 30" Choose the former. This will, of course, be a precursor to your finishing the same quest in RL.

A glitch in the game, once you have completed the "Help Jock with Homework" quest chain, allows you to buy 3 bottles of Boozeahol, give them to a girl, choose the "Come to my room" dialogue option, and beat the game. This glitch was used in the current World of Nerdcraft speedrun.

If you want to do it right, you first have to find a girlfriend/boyfriend. If you have completed the Long-Distance Relationship or Complicated Relationship Going Nowhere quests, you cannot go further. Speak to your SO. You should now have a "Dump" option (if you have a high Cha, enhanced by items, you will instead be presented with "This isn't working out, we should be friends" option. Click it.

Now you will need to spec your character to get the Improved Bayesian Search talent. You need to find a girl/guy with similar interests, so look in your character sheet under "Interests" and choose three. Throw on the Search and run around bars (or dorms, if you are in college) until a dot shows up. Then, put on all of your Charisma-boosting gear, use a Vodka potion (increases Charisma by 2 for 15 minutes) and select the Talk option. If you succeed, you will obtain a phone number. Then, you will need to play the Dating minigame. Since being a mathematician you will have loads of money (the easiest way to get some is through the repeatable quest Break the Stock Market), always select the second from most expensive option possible. After two or three dates (or one, if you have awesome Charisma boosting gear), an option box should pop up "Your place" or "My place" Choose the "My place" option and watch the cutscene. Congratulations, you have just beaten World of Nerdcraft. Now you will have to deal with something called RL, also known as Real Life.

edit Mathematican FAQs

"I can't get my character to go to parties."

Your social skills are too low. Try getting stat-boosting gear.
Check an Abercrombie and Fitch catalogue.

"I beat the game. Now what?"

If you look at your character sheet, you will have noticed that your Cha has gone up dramatically thanks to the final quest.
If you really want to create the ultimate character, you will have to go to the gym and click on the weight machine until your Str and Con go up to desired levels.
Since you should have more money than you know what to do with (see Break the Stock Market), you can purchase plastic surgery which will increase your Con and Cha.
After your stats are totally buffed out, get some extra gear and try slaying a couple of dragons.
Use Presence of Mind and spam Confuse every time it tries to cast something.

"What other characters are available?"

Computer Geek General Geek Engineer Dork, and Asian Schoolgirl

"What races are available?"

Currently, only White and Asian.
The expansion will, however, include 3 new races, 4 new classes, and an innovative subclass system.
Now, when you create your mathematician, you get to choose Applied, Pure, or Computational.
Engineers will get EE, Mechanical, and Chemical.

"What do the size bonuses mean on some items?"

These items increase the size of your genitals and, as such, are highly prized.
Mathematicians, of course, have the largest base size (8), but this can be increased to 12 with a perfect build (Skimpy T-shirt, Roll of Quarters, Slacker Shorts, and Steel-Toed Cowboy Boots).


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