Match of Nazareth
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Match of Nazareth is the name given to the third incarnation of Match, son of God. is also known as Match Smith. Born on December 25. Only knows the day and month, the years have not yet been able to decipher although historians believe he was born on his birthday. Few know that it was actually his third coming into the world, but this time the match. Well, first came as a Jesus raptors and the Second Coming was the first time he took human form as Jesus. Son of a mother and her cigarette lighter. Just finished study and entered the University of Yale, earned his life collecting butts. Later, he began to preach again. As disciples chose: a pin, an eraser and a pin was always lost out there, and other vagabonds. Was known for his neighborhood. it took all of crazy but addicts sulfide, as adored as the new God because it was like them, stupid. Match but failed because anyone made her case. He said being the son of Match, but people do not believe him. He was arrested and imprisoned, and finally kill him and kill him passing a sandpaper.
edit Birth and childhood
His mother and father lived in Nazareth. The mother is unexpectedly pregnant and his father tries to leave, but a angel announced in a dream that he was pregnant and that if his mother the very start God to give him a drop kick in the balls and to record the word coward to fire on the forehead. He announced that his son is the Messiah, but it served no consolation. Three small matches come asking for the "king of matches just born" with the intent to worship him and a drum with a small match annoying. Abducted at an early age by a flying saucer, was released near City of matches. Acquired knowledge of this great cultural experience which gave him then the time to migrate in search of apostles, was welcomed by a couple of aliens in the Cydonia region of Mars where is the face of Mars. He started there as a messiah, but he was not very good because it was all very cold and inhospitable. Turned and grew learning the trade from his father, pulled from the car and collect the insurance and running a "sex shop", so the 14 years since it was formed and is discussing with other major prophets in the church and people. According to some, was the inventor of the party since their diet consisted of changing the water for a wine. It was also the first since his gang plan weekends with his friends was going to disturb the Jewish priests.
The government, seeing the danger of this guy, sent him to kill Peter, his method used in time for the shortage of electricity for the electric chair. He was captured and immediately was given death penalty.
edit Public life
Accompanied by his followers traveled streets out its gospel and not doing many miracles that took him as well as it had wanted. The order of these events and varies depending on who you count. Nor indicates how long did the public life of Match, but it does not matter to anyone.
He chose his main followers, twelve in number that gave him luck. Some of them were fishermen fish. Bothered the most important religious sects of Match, especially with the Pharisees, whom he accused of hypocrisy and does not care what the Bible's most important matches. The originality of his message was the emphasis on love of enemy, but that was a crime of sexual filia-enemy and the ensuing scandal.
From the very first time had a significant influence on local people, surely that most of the day and occasionally led to some other fire. Seeing that many insults and assaults without phosphorus remained unchanged. Without knowing it, the people living in The match bible, the name given to the place where every match has to go at least once in life, but every time I said something that insulted him . For many insults continued to receive the grill without immutable began increasingly marginalized. Without knowing it, the people who lived on one side of Match, began to be more pleasant and that they caused it, as they saw some stranger, some irreflenables feel like hitting any solid object they had at their disposal.
After a dinner that paid to Judas for the next day an extra charge, Match and his disciples went to pray in the garden of tomatoes. The apostles, instead of praying, fell asleep, and suffered a moment of Phosphorus strong anxiety regarding their fate, but decided to heed the will of God. He threatened to throw a ray if it was not doing that already had the cross and paid the rent Gólgota.
Judas had actually betrayed for its distribution. Accompanied by an armed group of swords and clubs, came to the garden and revealed the identity of Phosphorus giving a slap in the ass. Phosphorus was arrested. As part of his followers was an outbreak of resistance, but eventually they all fled and dispersed that no one knew that it was attempted.
edit The Passion of Match
Due to its popularity as a singer and junkie was paid many tributes. And even was cloned from the cells of his mummified loincloth, which was Jesus of Nazareth He was immediately apprehended and sentenced to the crucifixion. His mother was so sad that the three days that followed and was admitted to seeing a mental.
Now on display statues of his and his relatives in all the shops in a pack of 100 and ten spare.
Match was very tired, and was revived by the life as a result of scatter spectrum. All his sermons were limited to say: BooOOoOOOoo!!!. Also, it was very popular among the population who had the bad habit of sucking the brains of people, why crucify him again, but with little success, as always he managed to break the cross and re - preach.
He was locked in a cemetery in the hope that finally learned to die and stop preaching. For over 100 years it was feeding rancid meat to leave everything very clean, at which point he decided to go to Mexico, where he was warmly welcomed and even gave him fresh meat regularly. Cree was where he was finally killed by an indigestion. In the sky up a whore house to help his father to fill the sky with people. Was filled too fast and had to declare that the whores are all sinners and sent to Hell.
edit Last advent
And finally say that the past is known. This time it was resurrected by Frankenstein in a lab to fulfill a mission. But it had several flaws that led to a total collapse when explaining a parable, and ended up in hyperbole, and instead of preaching the good news, bad old preached.