Masturbation (disambiguation)

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Homer

This is how you do it.

Masturbation is a very competitive and popular contact sport. Masturbation or "jerking off" has more than tripled the magazine business and has recently been cited as the most popular and most efficient form of exercise. It has been stated as a fact that masturbation is by far the most popular use of time by men from 3-467. Since masturbation was discovered by Pope Urban II and was intended as a ranged attack to be used during the Crusades. A few centuries later, an American app designer named Oliver Klozoff approached George Washington and informed him that this tactic would prove useful during the American Revolution, because Englishman didn't have as much range, they were later proven wrong. Since its discovery in 1071, masturbation has occupied the boredom of males, and more or less crippled the board games market. Masturbation usually sounds like this: "FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP". An additional "FAP" means that he/she is in fact kitten huffing. Aside from occasional references on most CBS programs, masturbation is quite hidden in terms of popular culture. The Rolling Stones' Wankwankwankwank (sung to the tune of Paint it Black), for example, is one of the few songs which references masturbation, as, quite simply, no one wants to admit it.

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