Mass Murdering League

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Chuck Norris, a typical MML contestant.

The Mass Murdering League, MML for short, is a new extreme sport that originated in the 1920's in the Carribbean Sea. The sport involves the concept of smart, awesome celebrites killing dumb celebrites for pay. THe league plays in various locations, from the beachs of Miami to the frigid cold of the North Pole.

[edit] How the MML got started

The MML got started in 1925 when Former President Theodore Roosevelt and NFL Football Player O.J. Simpson decided to face off in a one-on-one hunt. They were both given a gun and a week's worth of food, and set off for the island of Jamaica. They both were dropped off at separate parts of the island for obvious reasons because if they had been dropped off at the same place, then one of them one would have killed the other in about five minutes. Anyway, the hunt lasted five extruating days, with President Roosevelt coming out on top by shooting O.J. Simpson in the nuts. The residents of the island enjoyed so much that they begged Simpson and Roosevelt for more. Thus, the MML was born.

[edit] The popularity of MML

Since the start of the actual MML in 1979, its television broadcassts have been the third-most frequently viewed amongst sporting events, behind the NFL and NASCAR. The only explantion for MML's popularity given to us by experts is that "I guess people like watching their blood." The Versus Channel has created shameless spin-offs not involving celebrities, but merely involving some stupid animals such as deer and ducks. As you might imagine, these shows are not setting any Nelisen boxes on fire. As for merchandise related to the show, it has for second-highest income for TV show merchandise behind The Simpsons, who are willing to put their face on ANYTHING.(including condoms)

[edit] Regular participants in MML

Uncle Joe
Elliott Sadler- also hunts deer in spare time
Chuck Norris- doesn't even use a gun
Bea Arthur - Uses massive hand attack (2d12 +5/+10 vs Teen Idols)
Jackie Chan
Bruce Lee
Mario
Sonic the Hedgehog
Death Note
...and many other numerous celebs

[edit] Regular victims in MML

Bazooka, a weapon of choice in MML.

Britney Spears- shaved her head in order to be harder to kill
Paris Hilton- Seriously, who doesn't want her dead other than her parents?
Rex Grossman- hey, he had to go somewhere to get away from all the heckling for screwing up in the Super Bowl.
Lindsay Lohan- Anorexic bitch who just parties and drinks who hopes to die of liver disease or drugs before she gets her brains blown out by Elliott Sadler or Vin Diesel with a shotgun.

[edit] Rules

Victims get three hours head start, but can only use a knife for a weapon.
Hunters get to choose from Machine gun, bazooka, shotgun, pistol, or rifle for their weapons. NO WMDS PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!
When a hunter kills a victim, they are allowed a maximum of three extra shots in order to make sure their dead. (......and to rub it in!)
If victims survive after three days, they get a million dollars.
Hunters get a million dollars for each victim they kill.
Other than that, GO CRAZY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The scoring system goes like this: 1 point for each kill.