Marine Biology

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Marine Biology is the act of studying life in oceans or in some cases very large puddles.


The origins of go back to the 16th century when people decided that they were tired of unsuccessfully trying to learn new things about land critters. Since in those days most people were to stupid to know how to swim (therefor could not be proven wrong) they figured they could get away with anything. Because of this a new "scientific" breakthrough was being made nearly every second. One of the first Marine Biologists was Sara Lueis Marinebiologist for whom the "science" is named. Marinebiologist was the local hooker in Berlin but after the Great Groin Plague of 1593 she decided to give up her honorable profession and become a Marine Biologist then called an "ocean studying guy or girl". Marinebiologist pioneered the idea of water as a liquid as opposed to a liquid as everyone thought is was back then. For her achievements the "science" was renamed Marine Biology. Marinebiologist later sued science ("yes she actually sued the word science")for $3.85 ($500,000 by today's crappy standards)but before it could go to trial she was "kindly" murdered by the Catholic Church.

20th century

In 1956 Jacques Cousteau (from here on out to be referred to as "that guy") invented the SCUBA tank which let people actually go under water. Needless to say that that guy totally ruined the science of ocean studying guy or girlogy, I mean Marine Biology for everyone. After that guy did that thing then we actually started to fine out real stuff about the ocean and people quickly lost interest. But then that guys son came and got us interested again with his some kind of award wining documentary Finding Nemo after that no one cared again any more.

Marine biologenie

According to legend a marine biologist known only as the "the chosen one" will on a unspecified date (some experts believe it to be January 20, 2001) summon the ancient deity known as Marine biologenie. The Marine biologenie will then have a totally kick ass battle with Godzilla or Jesus or something and then the chosen one will send him to the depths of hell also known as San Fransisco. Once there the Marine biologenie will start a crappy line of T-shirts that he will sell on the side of the street. Once he earns $2.50 he will go eat at burger king and later have some sort of final stand off with the Army that will end with a totally awesome explosion. "Scientists" have searched for many hours for the Marine biologenie but allways have to stop when they get more than 15 feet from the nearest I hop.

In the future

In the future no one will give a rats ass about Marine Biology mostly because global warming is fucking everything up but also because it is human nature for us to stop caring about something after about 20 years. There lies a new frontier that we can pertend to know everything about, space. Outer space is the new ocean so as it was with Red Bull to Rock Star and records to CD's to MP3 to ??? we have found something better already. which brings up the point why the hell did you even read this article in the first place? Are you some kind of fag?




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