Maplestory
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“OMG ITSS FANGGBLADEEE HES MAAHY IDDLE HESS SO PRRRROOO I WANAN A BEE LIKEE HIM WHEEN I GRWO UP”
~ Noob on Fangblade
“OMG NOOOBB HAXXER DON KS MEH CC NOE OR GIMMEE MEZOZ PLOXX”
~ Noob on Another noob
“MY PENUS I FOUND U!!!!!”
~ PENUS on PENUS
“What the fucking hell?”
~ People Who Can Spell on Maplestory
Maplestory is a video game/propaganda technique, which focuses mainly on people doing drugs. Some, as a rationale for why the use of drugs is so blatantly obvious in the gameplay, claim that Maplestory, translated from the Asian language, is a euphemism for "doing drugs", and that the original version of the game included the characters of the game using drugs. They are wrong on two accounts. The first is that the original name of the game was Story of a Maple and had nothing whatsoever to do with drugs. The second is that the characters of the original Story of a Maple did not use drugs, no, it was the players themselves who had to get high to be interested in the game. Now, since the addition of the Cash Shop, the game has evolved into an enterprise that earns Nexon billions of dollars. There are many protestors against Maplestory who want the clearly visible drug-using messages to stop, and they are happily ignored by the major public.
Contents |
[edit] History
Creation
Near the end of World War II Mao Zedong proposed to create a game in which kids from all over the world would play, causing them to eventually lose the anxiety and stress brought on by feelings of wanting to succeed in life. Mao Zedong prevailed, and around the time of the Vietnam War, in order to prevent the Vietnamese from becoming successful communist leaders, he unleashed his cartoonish creation upon the world. Mao Zedong later died due to a heart attack brought on by the game's sheer gayness.
Graphics
Maplestory has a unique art style that was unprecedented at its time. It was made in MS paint.
[edit] Communist Legacy
Maple Story, or more commonly called: Story of a Maple by the creators, or the Commie Asians (more specifically, the Chinese, Japanese, and Koreans), is an MMORPG that originated in Communist Asia, and is played by approximately 216 Asian citizens (the original audience was about 600,000 people, but the majority eventually died off from drug overdoses). Since that overloaded their bandwidth, restrictions that prevent Americans from playing the Asian version were created by them. In America, the version of Story of a Maple was called MapleStory (or maple global, by the Chinese), to make it sound more interesting. Then, 5 years after MapleStory was released in 1994, the Americans, which were currently at a secret war with the Chinese, hired a hundred southern Asian animators and artists, to improve the graphics greatly, and hired programmers who previously worked under Bill Gates to improve the gameplay of MapleStory. Then a staggering amount of people (900,000,000, even though there are only ~350,000,000 people in America today) joined MapleStory, and crashed the servers for a consecutive 2 and a half years. (this was mainly because each server had a bandwidth of about 1,000 people) Then, when everything settled down, Nexon (the game's American providers and proud purveyor sweatshop programming) invented the 'Cash Shop', which bought players new kinds of drugs that could only have been obtained with cash, and made millions of dollars the first day of its release. Today's MapleStory gameplay is considered much better than the original versions by the majority of veteran players due to Cash Shop "enhancements".
MapleStory's popularity has been a highlighted concern for many American politicians, primarily due to fears of a sudden asian attack on America.
[edit] Leveling
As mentioned earlier, the whole point of the game is to hump a tree...While doing drugs. When you gain a level on the tree, you get more higher, causing you to have more pot (HP and MP) and expanding the amount of skills you have. Also with each level you gain, you must battle a boss. The first level boss is a green snail. The advice for this creature is not to let it crawl in through any pubic orifices and to kill it by stomping on it immediately. Next level is a Blue Snail. Same advice, only these have 7 more HP than the green ones. Third level is really hard...A red snail. Loads more HP (30 more) and can do extreme damage (4-8's) when let to crawl into body through orifices. Level four, you must battle a Crog, a demented kind of a frog that flies and does ~2000 damage with black lightning... Also has 100,000 HP. You're on your own on this one..... Also, since he takes about 20 continuous hours of gameplay to defeat, many people ask themselves why they're at the computer at all, why they're naked and covered in strawberry jam, and why the fuck they haven't OD'd yet... Many come to the conclusion that "this is what it feels like to be asian".
Official Update: As Most noobs(are you noob enough to not click that?) are not stupid enough to spend time on the Crog, if you kill enough snails to gain 92 exp, you can proceed to the next level, where you will be introduced to shrooms. It's mushroom spores are known to cure boredom.
[edit] n00bs
People with insane high intelligence. Another good reason to play this game.
Pro:"Now I lvl 9 Hermit, tonight I go 1st job advancement. Pro right?"
Noob:"Ya! Gratz!" *walks away thinking, that guy is damn arrogant, who cares.*
Pro went on and failed at life.
God, he is in deep trouble, aren't he. This is not a joke, advise everyone not to join, for the future and greater good for Mankind. Addiction isn't good. Let's take a trilling insight into why we shouldn't!
[edit] Jobs
[edit] Overview
Jobless players are considered n00bs. At level 10, you choose your first job. The four jobs are: Pimp, Raper, Addict, and Seller. There is a town for every 1st job. People who have reached their 2nd jobs are considered PRO. PRO's are nerds who don't have a life, or, in the case of asians, people who don't have any money/connections to buy real drugs. People with 3rd jobs advancements are even rarer, as having that much pot will make you prone to having it stolen by some Addict. As you progress through the game, you gain more skills and more fame, as well as gaining the ability to whack more monsters with your stick, or whatever the hell you're using as a weapon. In contrast, as you progress through using more and more drugs in real life, pretty much the exact opposite happens. For example: if you're a crack addict, you probably can't do anything except think of ways to get more crack (no skills), there probably aren't that many people that like you (no fame), and it is probable that when you come across a kitten with a stick, you choose to huff it (no beating animals with sticks). The Asian creators of this game are believed to have created the 4th job, starting at level 120, and are believed to have 50% of the people who play their version: Story of a Maple (which is ~108 people, if you can't count), be at the 4th job.
[edit] 1st job advancement
This is where you stop being a noob. Most people become pimps, so they have to complete PQ's, which would explain the overpopulation in Kerning City, or Pimp town as it is more commonly called. Other people become Sellers, which is actually better than a Pimp, but less popular. So they go to Ellnia, or Teh Drug Base as its called, and they start selling...The other jobs: Raper and Addict are stupid skills. Most homosexual, mentally retarded, or just fucking stupid people choose those. But some n00bs who have no idea what they're doing, become Addicts, because "it sounds kewl"...And overpopulate the City Henesys with feeble attempts to kill the green mushrooms for their caps, which is the second best drug a 1st job person can get his hands on. Rapers reside in a town called Perion, which is a favorite town to visit by the Pimps to stock up on whores and strippers.
[edit] 2nd job advancement
There is a lot of 2nd jobs. Pimps can become either Thugs, or Snipers. Sellers can become either Alchohol sellers, Amphenamines sellers, or Health Pot specialists. Rapers can become either: Pokeee Rapers, Goth Rapers, or Pervert Rapers. Addicts can become Potheads or Crackpots (Crackheads).
This took me a while to decipher, because the 2nd job people use a coded system of names. For example: Alchohol selers are called F/P wizards, which stands for Firepoisons importers. (firepoison is a type of alcohol that kills after 1 hour, at the most, after being consumed). Or another example is: Pokeee Rapers usually wield a long pole (to help them to rape people), or even spears (refer to image above)... And another one is: Health Pot (HP) specialists are called that because the 2nd job people communicate to them by saying: "heal my HP dude!!!" ("heal" means increase my stock of [pot]).
[edit] 3rd job advancement
There is a crazy amount of 3rd job advancements. Most people of MapleStory have not advanced to these jobs, although practically everyone did in the Asian version: Story of a Maple. Thugs become Uber-Thugs ( a weird Asian translation). Snipers become(what a surprise) Uber-Snipers.
[edit] 4th job advancement
Marxist Leader, and Hitler Decendent. Allows you to start haulocast and nuclear war =D
[edit] 5th-8th job advancements
Communist Leader, and Stalin-Clone. YOU CAN BE A COMMUNIST LEADER AND RULE THE WORLD!!!
[edit] 9th-11th job advancements
Band director, Vaginal Seepage, Anal Seepage, Roger "the dave" Tubaman 5 and diner 6 and stixer, Pot head mother fucker, and finally The Internet
[edit] Xth job advancements
Ub0r Drg00n h4x0r,Hobo, Spammer, The Beast guy, Britney Spears, 8, Aussie, Paris Hilton(Aka Uber Hitler)
[edit] Skills
[edit] General
To add more diversity to the game, the creators added 'Skills', which are hallucinations that appear on your screen and make you believe you are doing more than just swinging a stick around and hitting animated animals with it. The American version includes actual increased damage done to the monsters when you perform a skill. The Asian creators have not thought of this because they usually do drugs while playing Story of a Maple anyway. Asian anti-drug organizations and groups protested, because Asians get more and more mentally retarded while playing Story of a Maple, while Americans don't. American officials' rationale to this was: "Asians deserve to be high...another example of the continent's vast diversity..." But thinking about the younger crowd (38-45 years old) who cannot do drugs yet, the American version requires no need of doing drugs while playing the game. As your level on the "Tree" gets higher and higher (and so do you), the skills become more and more addictive. This reaches the point to where people who are in their second job or above do their skills all the time, but not to the point of death. In Maplestory, for safety reasons, as many drugs as possible use My Pot(MP) instead of HP, however, some deadly hallucinations can only be induced by a severe laspe in HP.(the dragon hallucinations are potent) The term of lethal drug overdose is not applicable to the game, (you would die in the first hour of the game if it was). The only way to die in MapleStory is to have a monster take all of your "health pot" (HP), removing your illusion of unlimited movement. Cheap addicts.
[edit] n00b skills
Most of the skills in MapleStory have something to do with drugs because you need to hallucinate to perform them. As you level your n00b, there are three skills you can learn. One of them, as mentioned above is a meth overdose that increases your speed by 20%. Another is throwing an uncrushed snail shell at an enemy, and hallucinating great damage, + 100% hit hallucination. Another is making your pot (MP) into Health Pot (HP). These skills can only be used in 5-10 minutes, since they are not that addictive.
[edit] 1st job skills
These skills are a little more addictive than the n00b skills, and are a little more interesting to watch. There are 24 of them, so I will not list them all due to risk of too much information causing chronic (sudden) exploding head syndrome. The most important skill of the pimp, is to stab a monster two times, making splash effects, or throwing two random objects at a monster. Pimps have the most interesting skills in the game. The skills of the raper and addict are negligible, since it doesn't do a lot.
Sellers are smarts. They choose to increase their my pot, and use it for all hallucinations, like damage. They use a lot, but healthpot remain unaffected.
[edit] 2nd job skills
Once players reach second job, they begin to master thier addiction , and certainly their hallucinations become more beautiful and fantastical, and are able to dream them up more easily. Less effort is needed, you see. Being "high"er, lower level skills can be overdone. Once the player is halfway through the 2nd job, they may still be sane, but they have passed the event horizon of the black hole of addiction. From 2nd job, they can create visible hallucinations to all, which is why lower jobs can see, and even affect surronding players. For entertainment purposes, some monsters also aid in fueling addiction.
Pimps can hand out performance enhancing drugs to others, making them sprint faster. Not elligible for Olympics.
Summary: Players master and overdo hallucinations, some affect nearby players.
[edit] 3rd job skills
Err... I don't really know, there is no one to ask. The hallucinations are visible, luckily. You may play the game to have a feel of it, just stay noob. Visit to neurologist after playing advised.
[edit] 4th job
All I remember when i played for research is a deeply addicted player who tried to make players in the nearly vicinity more "high". Worked, I was more "high" for 40 minutes. Took 10 doses of anti-depressant after that. Glad to be still alive.
[edit] Trading
Trading is done with a certain kind of asian drug called "mush caps". There are different kinds of mush caps: orange, blue, zombie, green, and horny(you don't want to know). These drugs are similar to shrooms, and are called shrooms in 80% of the rest of the countries, which reflects on how high the asians were during the creating/updating of the game. Mesos, the believed currency of Story of a Maple, are just square dots that are used to trade the drugs for, which are the real currency. These mesos are kind of a sub -currency. Following the expansion of this drug empire, is the increasing complexity of its currency. Once upon a happier time when the world was filled with noobs, there existed only one type of money with no denominations, called the Meso. Though now, while the term still remains official, there are far too many twisted and evil things that the meso can be used for.
1. A so called pro, may, for the purpose of his leisure, attempt to use such mesos to lure unsuspecting noobs into a very lethal trap. The coin form of the meso, which hovers slowly above the ground while rotating eeriely, have been discovered to be an attractant for noobies. While pros can usually endure and resist the temptaion to pick it up, poor noobs may very well attempt to seize the hallucination. As such, meso trails that lead into a particularly dangerous place were, and still are, the downfall of many noobs.
2. A pro who is rich with mesos, may decide, for his leisure, again, that showing his wealth is exciting and fun. In this case, he would drop mesos in coin form quickly to form a large row/stack of it, which effectively tempts noobs to pick it up. However, most of the time, the pro himself, or other pros, may have already taken the loot before a noob can get his hands on it. Thus, the pro will succeed in his task.
3. Such mesos actually exist in 4 forms. 1. The bronze coin(>9to<50), the gold coin (>49to<100), the stack of cash (>99to<1000) and finally the musch coveted sack of cash (>999to<50000). Any larger amounts of cash will be split into bags, stacks, and the 2 types of coin. However, denying the above details would be the fact that you are READING EVERY WORD OF THIS IN A STIMULATED CONSTIPATION/HALLUCINATION/NIGHTMARE/REALITY(WHICH IS FALSE).
[edit] The Towns
The towns are very exciting.
Training Camp
This is where you start the end of your life.
Amherst
N00bs go here.
South Perry
This is where you get out of n00b world.
Lith Harbor
This is where you arrive at noob world n00b.
Henesys
This town has n00bs. And NX h0es. Mushrooms caps for sale.
Kerning City
This town has bricks. And where n00bs become pimps.
Perion
This place has rocks. And n00bs. And ruins.
Ellinia
This place has trees. Home of the Maple tree.
Nautilus Port
A place where you can do whatever you want. Even masturbating! Free port, trade here.
Sleepywood
It's a place with trees. N00bs fall asleep here.
New Leaf City
Where the most best pot comes from. Herb supply area.
Crimsonwood Keep
Where n00bs get money to buy pot, but die en route.
Florina Beach
There are koko monkeys here.
Orbis
This place is high. This place has orb[1].
Ludibrium
This place has toys! :D
El Nath
This place freezes your balls and eventually you.
Dark Valley
Does the same, but under twilight.
Dead Mine
This place makes cooked food.
Aquarium
This place has water.
Omega Sector
Nobody knows what's here. N00bs don't care.
Korean Folk Town
This place has ugly old people.(or rather goblins)
Amoria
This place has b00bs.
Leafre
This place has marijuana leaves and egg sacks. If you touch them, you will be sent back to Amherst.
Happyville
A happy village with white powder. You can do one of the most famous quests here: Help Torr find his horn. Check the cash shop, and pay real money to buy a horn full of crack for him!
Elin Forest
This place is maplestory when it was younger. It has large mushrooms for smoking, and it is always raining weed. The only thing to do here is Ellin PQ.
Murder Dungeon
This place is maplestory pking Dungeon.People can anyhow kill people here just for fun.There is also a rumor that there is a legendary human hunter which is lvl 350 in this dungeon.This hunter is made to kill everyone in the dungeon.People had said to meet him before,but he is only a lvl 10 noob playing hacks
Ariant
This place has lots of sand and an ugly ass queen. Also, it is really dry. It is rumored that the queen turns people into stone by looking at them.
Magatia
Here you can find Romeo and Juliet.And their really old parents who are polar opposites and make robots/flying tubes of weed. It's really dark here too and n00bs get lost easily. And n00bs usually die in there.
Time Temple
Full of crazy crack sellers who chase you down.You will find the drug lord, Pink Bean, here.He's one scary mother f*****.Get out while you still can, otherwise he'll kill you with his atomic bombs and pogostick. And drug boxes.
Singapore
Pay 20,000 to ride a .000001 second plane ride to an Asian town from Kerning. Here, you can kill people with weird things with wings,
and get run over by black spineless niggas in cars. Kill them for pot.
And others(Who in the world cares about them).
Do you?
Choose now!
No
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The author did not bother to write about the other town(s). No one in the world cares about them except you, would you like to help out? Rein is left.
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[edit] Mesos
Mesos are the virtual currency in the game, and to honour Story of a Maple, it has a Maple Leaf engraved on it. Low leveled players, who are not involved in addiction yet, hallucinate Bronze coins dropping, which when picked up transform into "You have gained mesos(456981-999999)". Pros have the ability to hallucinate big gold sacks flying out and landing on the ground, sometimes spewing all around in all directions, among cloths, scrolls of paper, drugs, and squares with pictures that grant more advanced addiction. when a group of cowardly Pros gang up on a powerful boss.
[edit] PQ's
PQ's or Pot Quests, are group activities which players must get together to usually get drugs after helping out a NPC. Each PQ is centered around a different drug to create diversity.
There are many types of PQ's including:
Henesys PQ- Ages 10 and up. Level 10 and up also eligible.
The NPC for this PQ is a gay guy in a bunny costume. His utter homosexuality leaves him begging for help from n00bs to do his job.
Detail: One of the most important PQs in the game. You enter a map where you have to extract and plant primrose seeds on floating grass patches surrounding a crescent moon. Once all seeds have found home and blossomed, the sky will fast forward to a full moon! A bunny will appear to make cakes, and you must protect it from monsters who come to visit it. 10 moon cakes have to be given to a hungry tiger. The players get t0 keep remaining mooncakes. After mastering the PQ, noobs will be given a cake to wear on the head.
Provenance: The storyline makes no sense whatsoever. However,As this provides a break from killing bosses to level, it is very popular with noobs. As the players are too busy protecting the moon bunny, they fail to realise the moon bunny is also adding ice to the mooncake filling. Such is the bunny's skill that they taste just like any other mooncakes. The mooncake as a hat places crack on top of the noob's head, signifying submission. This is a vital ploy that leads otherwise true n00bs deeper into MapleStory.
Ariant Coliseum
Gotta catch 'em all! Players 20-30 are allowed as they are still immature and want to play pokemon with drugs.
Kerning City PQ-Ages 21-30
Goal: Solve Clito's tasks and defeat the King Slime, which is made of marijuana.
Stages:
Stage 1: Talk to Clit (Clito's daughter) to find out how many marijuana leaves she needs. Kill alligaytors to obtain the number of leaves she wants.
Stage 2: Hang on marijuana vines until Clit says its okay to leave
Stage 3: Survive on a ledge with intoxicated kitties until Clit says its okay to leave
Stage 4: Open Barrels to find which one has marijuana leaves
Final Stage: Head to the bottom of the marijuana jungle and defeat the King Slime. Some times it will drop Slime boots which increase your marijuana storage space by 1000.
Monster Carnival PQ-Ages 30-50
Goal:Enter the famous bong department store and collect more bongs than the other team!
Stages:
Stage 1: Talk to Semenman to enter the PQ, and wait for another party to join as well
Stage 2: Both parties will enter the bong department store. Collect as many bongs as you can hold. You may also throw bongs at the other team to prevent them from collecting bongs by knocking them unconcious, stunning them, or giving them the curse of the bong.
Exit: The winning teams gets gold bongs which increase bong toxicity by +50
Ludibrium PQ
Goal:Players level 35-50 participate for some crack on the wall. Players get so high that parties simultaneously hallucinate, picturing a large monster with beautiful pink nipples.
Stages:
Stage 1: Kill white and black crack that is alive. Collect the crack that falls when it dies.
Stage 2: Open boxes to find crack
Stage 3: Kill octopuses and collect the crack they stole
Stage 4: Journey into the dark and feel your way to the crack
Stage 5: Everyone goes into a tower of crack and retrieve the crack at the top
Stage 6: Snort all your crack, and fly to the top of the map
Stage 7: Kill the crack monsters in your way!
Stage 8: Figure out how much crack you've gotten and stand on the numbers
Final Stage (Also known as: Crack on the Wall): Rush to the wall as fast as you can, and snort as much crack as you can in five minutes.
Bonus: The number of grams of crack you snorted determines how much exp you receive in bonus.
Ellin PQ
Rumored to be located at Elin Forest, this PQ probably doesn't exist at all. PQ was once opened before game was created.
Ludibrium Maze PQ
Players level 51-70 may join a party of three to six, to wander through a maze, and receive a generous sum of pot at the very end.
Orbis Party Quest
Built for levels 51 to 70, this PQ is meant for players who are already very high from the previous PQ's, so OPQ is conveniently located in Orbis, the place that's high.
Pirate PQ
Players level 55-100 participates in this PQ to steal some herbs, an alternative to pot from CPQ, and hallucinogenic crack from LPQ.
Zakum PQ
The largest source of crack rocks, ZPQ is a series of quests to prepare n00bs to fight Zakum, made up of crack rocks. Hats fashioned from these crack rocks makes players high, as well as their damage.
Magatia PQ
This PQ is centered around Romeo and Juliet
Stage 1: Trash a Library
Stage 2: Venture unprotected into a ghostly dark corridor
Stage 3: Fill gigantic leaking glasses with cum
Stage 4: Complete 2 Jump Quests
Stage 5: Kill all the rapers
Stage 6: Press random buttons on random ledges
Stage 7: Fight the boss, and fuck Romeo or Juliet on the top ledge =D
Amoria PQ
Pay over 20$ American dollars, go to the crack shop, and buy a fricken wedding ticket. Invite your crack friends, and yay! You just wasted 20$ dollars, to go to some in game Pot Quest, at the end, you can get Onyx Apples, which are blue, due to the radiation and pollution in Asia.
[edit] HP
Abbreviation for Health Pot, or an Asian name for Marijuana that heals your wounds. Should you lose all of your HP to a monster, you'll snap out of your drug trip, making you have to get some more HP by "reviving and being sent to a nearby town to start over". You actually get sent to rehab, and once you're clean, they send you out, but as soon as you leave, you go to the nearest Seller to buy some more HP.
[edit] MP
Abbreviation for My Pot, or regular weed that inspires you, and makes you hallucinate and make kewl looking spells all over your screen. This type of Pot, however, is mainly available to PROs as n00bs usually find these too intellectually disabling. This Pot also can be purchased from shops and the Illict Market (an empty space where PROs sell drugs and stuffs). Controversially, this pot actually exists in multiple creatively designed forms. While n00bs enjoy the consumption of drug infused green apples (available only to a n00b once in a quantity of 3 from a POT dealer in n00b Town), PROs prefer the use of more effective stimulants, such as a bottle filled with purple coloured liquid and highly stimulative eerie apples.
[edit] Damage
This mainly consist of walking on a monster and having it take away a portion of your "health pot" (HP). You could also fall a long distance and have it fall out of your pocket. For more complex monsters, which usually only the 2nd and 3rd jobs see, they do a monster skill to make your HP go away, which usually consist of a fireball that flies into your pocket and burns your health pot. In the case of the sellers, who are the only smart job in MapleStory, (but not the coolest, thats the 'Pimps'), they use their pot (MP), and cover their health pot (HP) with it. So any monster that tries to take or burn their health pot will end up taking/burning their normal pot, and so usually saving the sellers life.
One of the most unreasonable skills in Story of a Maple is the Clerics' skill: Heal. They can actually summon up health pot by hallucinating green light on the screen and therefore using up their MP. Now in the Asian versions of Story of a Maple, where the Asians just hallucinate everything, this skill doesn't summon any health pot. This can be considered an attack too, because there are monsters who are allergic to pot (undead) who actually suffer from the "Heal" skill, making it ever more unreasonable. (EDIT!!)
[edit] PRO's
People who don't have a life and play MapleStory too much. (usually has 2nd job advancement) The cure from PROness is very hard to obtain, but it is rumored that if you either buy real drugs, or fuck a random stripper (preferably a female) you can realize what a dumbass you have been for playing MapleStory too much. This is different in the case of Asians because half of their population is at the 4th job advancement. (thats 4x the levels of the 2nd job advancement) The cure for an Asian is to--THERE IS NO CURE. THE ONLY GOOD THING THAT CAN COME OUT OF A Story of A Maple ASIAN NERD IS HIM/HER BECOMING A NUCLEAR-SUICIDE BOMBER. After that, they are advised to bomb the capitol of Asia by the united states government.
[edit] Random Events
When leveling becomes too difficult, many people like to go to channel one and go to a populated town, like Perion or Henseys. There are many other random events: mushroom torture, Asian new year, maple story anniversary, and lawsuits. If you do not understand the following random event explanations, it is a good sign: you aren't completely retarded yet.
[edit] Mushroom Torture
Every now and then, the Pro's will get together, take off their "equips"(in real life it's clothes), and get a whip to "punish the naughty mushrooms". This is because Pro's have no girlfriend/boyfriend, so they'll go after the second best thing there is to seduce. Once they're done, they kill the mushrooms and roast them for dinner.
[edit] n00b
The details of this random event is widely known; 1): a noob comes up to you and types in something along these lines: "H3y d00000d, wussup, f4m3 /\/\3 p10X!!!", and 2): the same noob usually pushes the down button about twenty times per second, while standing over you; making the image of his/her character raping you. The proper reply should be: "Fucking noob, stop raping me or i'll report you!" or: "Fuck off, midget; you're not nerdy enuff". These replies of course can get you banned from the game, which makes the n00b random event a dreadful one. The most smart way to respond to get the n00b off of you and continue playing (if you're retarded or an Asian and still want to play this game) would be: "I do not have any fame for you today, I have used it up. Goodbye." There is still a chance that the n00b won't understand what the hell you're talking about(th3y talk in n00b, s0 th3y \/\/ont und3rstand), but in that case, almost every non-n00b gets so annoyed that they stop playing the game... so I won't even go there...
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