Manic depression
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Manic depression (not related to bipolar disorder nor AD/HD - a condition found among overenthusiastic Polar explorers) is a mutated form of the common cold which first emerged a long time ago. People with manic depression alternate between two polar opposites: happy and monster truck. It should be noticed that this shit is dead fucking serious, because it happens directly in the brain, and is known by philosophers to be caused by CHEMICALS. During the happy faces, manic depressive individuals are known to sniff glue, which is contrasted sharply by the monster truck phase, which involves, paradoxically, driving monster trucks.
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[edit] History
Manic depression was first diagnosed by Aristotle in Ancient Greece BC when he was fiddling with a Nintendo lovingly (and it liked it). Aristotle's cold suddenly caused him to rapdily switch between glue sniffing and monster truck driving, which, to quote him exactly, "was a fucking bitch to say the least, Socrates." Needless to say it went away after a few days because unlike most manic depressives, Aristotle was not a pussy. Current theology on manic depression shows that the disease may be caused by the struggle between drugs and cars.
[edit] Experience of having manic depression
According to manic depressives, it is pretty fucked up to be rapidly switching between happy and monster truck phase, especially since the phases alternate based on slight changes in the breathing of the planet's dolphin population. This rapid bicycling can cause problems when one needs to concentrate on demanding tasks such as running and kissing girls.
[edit] Famous people with manic depression
- God
- Mr. Clean
- Tom Cruise (medicated)
- You
- 9/11
