From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia
| This article is probably much too highbrow for your petit-bourgeois sense of humor. Don't expect vulgar crackings-up or sophomoric non-sequiturs.
Relax with your pipe, sip your brandy and chuckle delightedly as you read. If the sophisticated witticisms continue to confound you, Uncyclopedia invites you to click the following hyperlink to this article about poopoo.
- For other uses, see Manhattan Project (disambiguation).
The Manhattan Project was a notoriously difficult assignment given to a class of first graders by one Mr. Oppenheimer in 1943 at
Springfield Oak Ridge Elementary, Tennessee. The assignment was to build a model of Manhattan out of completely organic material and old socks.
edit The Teams
edit Team Fat Manhattan
Emilio's team first began to construct their model out of wood. This promptly caught fire. The next attempt was met whit less success for the teacher deemed the chosen material a non-glowing green substance to processed and therefore not organic. With 1 night to go Emilio borrowed a large amount of leftover uranium from Nick and turned it into Plutonium using his father's cyclotron in the garage. With the plutonium in, what was now a, tentacle he quickly cobbled together a model using socks to hold it together and called it a night.
edit Oscar Wilde's Little Boys
Frank quickly began harvesting natural uranium from a small glowing mine he had found in Nick's back yard. After extracting a model Manhattan sized lump of glowing matter the students began to
mutate sculpt it into shape using organic lead tools and socks. The team managed to finish the model 3 weeks before the deadline.
edit Zeeky H. Bomb
Teller and Ulam's design was simple. They simply froze Hydrogen in a mould shaped like Manhattan. The hydrogen was extracted from water and bombarded with neutrons in the school gym. The frozen hydrogen was stored in the teachers staffroom freezer for safe keeping.
edit The Results
Team Fat Manhattan was awarded first place for using the hardest material to find and being the freshest model. Oscar Wilde's Little Boys came in second because their model had started to decay, giving it rounded edges. Team Zeeky H. Bomb would have won however the school janitor moved their model out of the freezer and into the boiler room in order to store his cleaning fluids and the model drifted away.
edit The Controversy
After losing Ed accused Team Fat Manhattan of cheating by using a synthetic element. This argument was then taken to the Supreme Court where it was ruled that the incredibly rich Emilio eventually won. This remained the most controversial cases in american legal history until Alien vs. Predator.