Man periods
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
A man period is simply the natural menstruation cycle that occurs in certain men. Its scientific name is "Vir sanguine" meaning "Blood of the Man".
Contents |
[edit] Origins and History
Up until approximately 2500 years ago, it was believed menstruation only happened to women. At that time, menstruation was known as "womenstruation". The earliest recorded evidence of man periods was found in a Roman document describing the strange activity of Roman senator, Ranjitimus Paulimus. The Latin reads, "Igitur te nonnisi fides vir quisnam crudus ex suus snatch". This roughly translates to "Therefore you shall not trust the man who bleeds out his snatch" The Romans really took this to heart, and in fact the two criminals who were crucified with Jesus (and hell, maybe Jesus himself) were being punished for their menstrual symptoms. Man periods also caused the Crusades, because, dammit, Pope Urban II had some reaaaaly bad cramps and his Turkish Delight just wasn't cutting it.
[edit] A Scientific Fact
Scientifically, it is believed that man periods are influenced by a person's surroundings, similar to homosexuality. If a given individual is exposed to uptight conditions and retains these, he is 86% more likely to develop a man period in comparison with boys who had a normal upbringing. It has also been discovered that men who are raised in a wealthy and/or aristocratic environment (such as The Woodlands, Texas), the percentage of men who with periods experience them frequently until the age of their death. Furthermore, as the older a man gets, the more frequent his periods become. His periods also become much more intense and with worsening symptoms. You know that grumpy old man who lives down the street? Effectively, he is just living in an eternal state of menstruation.raja
[edit] In Religion
If behaviors associated with female periods can win a woman a ticket to hell, then behaviors associated with male periods are most likely no different. While on their periods, men tend to be more emotional. When this emotional energy is focused on goodness and loving, a feeling of closeness to God can be felt by the man. Some man periods provide men with the emotional push needed to stay thankful for having feelings in the first place. Oh, and women dig a man in touch with his feelings.
[edit] Modern Age
Since the first recordings of man periods, the frequency of man periods has increased, and the age that men have begun menstruating has lowered to ages 13-15 (from around 20-25). It is estimated that about 15% of the male population experiences man periods.
