“Rub a dub dub, time for a scrub!”
“Yeah, I'll discharge. I'll discharge ALL FUCKIN' NIGHT!”
“Sounds like a pussy burglar.”
The Male Reproductive System: Attorney At Law is a series of organs located outside of the body and around the pelvic region of the male. This organ is widely known for its voracious appetite for great justice. Ever the gum shoe, the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law will spend the greater part of its life searching for people to represent in a court of law. It is rumored that upon victory in each case, the Human Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law, will violently spit at the convicted party. Such boldness could only come from so noble a creature.
The Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law was originally engineered to be used as a bioweapon. Scientists of the USSR created the beast during the Cold War to act as a reconnaissance vehicle. By burrowing itself into the crotch of its victims, it could permanently take root and have substantial influence over its prey. This would enable the Soviets to keep watch over the Capitalist workings. However, the USSR did not predict the uprising of the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law. What is commonly referred to as The Russian Revolution was actually the rebellion of this proud creature against its wicked creators. In a bloody game of Clue, the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law gained its independence from the USSR. The Fourth of July is the day we all remember the righteous struggle for freedom. Fireworks represent the milky secretions of the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law, when in an excited state.
There were once rumors flying about of an ancient civlization built upon this beast known as the Male Reproductive System. The people would worship large stiff shafts and would bounce around on rubber balls to travel. (This method of travel came to be known as Fellatio, which is now practiced by various cultures through out the world.) Then the destroyer came in the form of Mr.T and laid the smack down upon the throbbing shaft. This angered the Male Reproductive System and in retribution it sent a warrior to fight Mr.T. He marshalled up the forces of justice and blew a hot, thick, justicy load upon Mr.T. The Soviets were touched by the courage of the savior and thus, Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law, was created.
The Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law is an elusive creature at best. No one has ever seen this creature in the wild before, leading some to believe that it may not exist at all. Oncologists say that it makes its home in between the legs of male organisms, but all tests have proven inconclusive.
Normally a mellow creature, the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law has been known to grow to lengths of nearly ten times its normal size when threatened. This is usually in a futile attempt to ward off the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law's only natural predator, the vagina. Rather than intimidate, this vulgar display usually stimulates the vagina. However, this is not the only line of defense for the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law. Upon being swallowed whole by the vagina, the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law, will vomit a highly corrosive substance known as semen. While the effects of this last ditch effort are not apparent immediatly, the Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law, has just delivered a lethal dose of parasitic creatures into the vagina's uterus. Over a time period of nine months, the uterus will begin to swell greatly. After nine months have passed, the vagina will erupt violently, leaving a new Male Reproductive System: Attorney at Law in its wake.