Maldives
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| Motto: "In Satan We trust, Fuck everyone who ever worshiped a swine called GOD"
"In nomine Domini Dei nostri Satanae Luciferi Excelsi, Amen.!" | |||
| Anthem: Dechristianize by Vital Remains | |||
| Languages | Dhivehi, A load of crap (national language) and English | ||
| Capital | Concrete Jungle Known as Male Hormones | ||
| Government | Despotism | ||
| President | Scrooge McDuck | ||
| National Heroes | Homer Simpson, Bugs Bunny , Tweety & Sylvester , Fred Flintstone and Barney Rubble ,Daffy Duck , Road Runner & Wile E. Coyote | ||
| Established | 20th century BC | ||
| Currency | Sanitary Napkins | ||
| Religion | Satanism | ||
“ God's Days are Numbered ... Come out from where ever you are ”
~ Satan on Maldives
The Maldives is an island nation consisting of about 1200 islands located somewhere in the Indian Ocean, or perhaps on Mars, the locals aren't too sure neither is NASA. Tourism,Prostitution,foruming and Drugs are the mainstay of the Maldivian economy.In the Maldivian Foruming community more than 90% of the shares are with Hotlism DOT org. According to UN reports, the island nation is sinking under the weight of all the fat American tourists & filthy rich arab arse holes.
Founded by Mr. Sergy Brin and Larry Page. Maldives was inspired by Google. THe country tried to name itself after Dmitry Medvedev, but because of copyright issues ended up with "Maldives".
Contents |
[edit] Wild Life
The Maldives has a wide variety of wildlife, especially at night, high on acid. Other than the colorful, sexually active youth and gay Archers, there are also 3 alley cats and 2 kittens. Most people prefer the alley cats and kittens compared to the sexually active youth. But hunting cats has been prohibited after a kitten accidentally bit a girl's tender parts while feeding it 'rihaakuru' a fish paste made from fish!
[edit] Politics
The country has a fully functioning, and widely envied model dictatorial system. In reality, no is too sure! Recently India has just bought the already drowned islands but not the people because they have been told to go fishing and comeback whenever they can reach Mars.
[edit] Elections
The wildly popular dictator has been elected year after year with over 101% of the total -21 votes polled. The dictator is the longest serving ruler in the Milky Way. In fact, there are rumors that he might be the legendary Prince Koimala himself.
Elections are conducted by the President, for the President, with the President, against the people. He has never failed to win the Presidency, never will he!
In recent times, however, Christian missionaries have caused major political upheavals in this predominantly hippie nation.
[edit] Opposition
No one in Maldives knew the meaning of “opposition”. It sounded more like those fancy names NASA used to call on new found galaxies. And on one fine day, after 30 years, the regime was shaken by a poor chap being beaten in the jail; namely Evan Naseem. For god sake that chap is dead, let him rest in peace! Instead of his funeral, the whole Maldives burnt. And from the ashes there rose the great opposition leader, Anni. Let it be, naturally the first reaction was to peacefully oppose the regime. However, the dictator wasn’t too happy about a little rat named Anni trying to steal the cheese. So the big cat – Ex President Dr Doom instead hired big fat soldiers and commanded to hammer this little rat every time he utters a word.
No wonder, its pure Monarchistic in Maldives. Tight rules were implemented by the regime to mitigate this opposition movements. The government announced that no three man could stand in hundred square feet, its considered as violent strikes. News media should always address the president with “His excellency”, if not, its against the law. And, bearded man is fundamentalist. No one is still too sure of this democracy existed.
[edit] Religion
The country is 100% Satanic but a lot of Un-satanic, Wanna be Satanic, Atheists and Mormons are present living amongst locals. A small number of Wanna be Rastafarians are found, mostly found sleeping on trees and feeding on branches. In recent days a large number of devil worshipers have also been found jumping around like maniacs in a so-called storm of rocks. Now a new religion is on its way to be formed. "Soobonists" a religion to be officially inaugurated by the president His excellency Presidend Scroog McDuck soon. "Seyku" Wicked Wazoo is to be appointed as the Head Of Council for all "Soobonist" followers. Marilyn Manson( Anti christian super star)is also believed to be the last Messiah by many Maldivians today.Hail Satan\m/
[edit] Famous People
Hi Sham Cher Reef : Known for his extraordinary Beauty, Hi is Chinese man who was deported from his own country 'cos of his looks and was the first foreigner to be given a Maldivian Passport. He Usually sleeps on a mirror-on-top bed and he never has nightmares. He is ccasionally mistaken for Iyham Shiyam, because of their respective nicknames. He was voted Sexiest Man Alive by FHM Magazine [Firi Hen Meehun] for the eighth consecutive time in 2009 and has a wealth over a Kazillion pounds. He won The World Wrestling Federation's Women's Champion Belt in 2009 by defeating the announcer of the match, Ahmed Nazim. a.k.a GraveBone. Haisham also holds the World's Record for The Biggest Asshole. No, Seriously The Asshole. He said "I'm not proud of it. I realised it only a couple of years back, 'cos I wondered why i never felt the agony of shit coming out and i looked to see why, in the mirror." The Asshole has a Diameter of 7ft 3inches beating the previous record of.. well.. only 3 inches. Hi is currently the president of Pakistan, and even has rumours that he killed Pervez Musharraf. He reportedly read the lyrics of the song "Believe" by his favourite Music Artist "Cher" as his Oath when he swore as President.
Rajnikant once said "Only a prime can defeat me, but that was only until Hi Sham Cher Reef was born"
[edit] Name Etymology
Several beliefs regarding "Maldives" etymology coexist violence. Most prominent ones are:
- "Maldives" is an anagram of MaeLsdiV which is what United Nations (UN) computers spat out after a short circuit at the time when nations name was being printed onto the official UN papers. Yet locals didn't like that one so they anagramed it into something more fancy.
- Nation's name is an abbreviation for "Mal"functioning "Dives" which is what all tourists mainly do apart from hopelessly trying to get laid.
- The Theory of Ever Looping Explanation states that it is proved by infinite looping that "Maldives" stands for "Maldives" which stands for "Maldives" which stands for "Maldives"...
- "Maldives" was the next available name after "Barbados".
- "Maldives" is an Alpha Centauri word meaning "he who is next to the one beside him". This belief is being taken quite seriously by NASA.
- "Maldives" don't really exist but it's just a Marketing trick to sell more sun glasses to tourists.
- "Maldives" actually is a good place for satanists.
