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Poo Lit Surprise Logo The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. Poo Lit Surprise Logo
Somebody touch me.

Today's Featured Article - Ped Xing

Chinese-2007

Dr. Ped Xing is a podiatrist with a practice in suburban Detroit, Michigan and 630 franchise offices. He is an ethnic Chinese and his practice incorporates notorious aspects of Chinese medicine, such as herbal therapy, acupuncture, and feng shui. His notoriety stems from his use of the hallmark road signs that bear his name to advertise his practice throughout the United States.

Dr. Xing began his controversial outdoor advertising in the 1980s, when the state professional organization still prohibited members from public advertising, or from stating the price to the patient until after service was rendered. Dr. Xing's signs do not actually show feet, on which the Doctor works. Rather, they show a person walking briskly, with no indication as to whether the patient is pigeon-toed, splay-legged, or otherwise put together incorrectly. Dr. Xing always claimed that the signs therefore do not refer to a medical procedure but simply to generic wellness, and because of this distinction, do not fall under the professional prohibition.

Cynical members of this professional guild knew that persons rendering service acquire a mechanic's lien over the property serviced, and a podiatrist could in theory repossess both legs if the patient did not pay in full. (more...)

Recently featured: Ped Xing

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Hmor, featured on 22 October 2012. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?
  • ...that forgetting to carry the one is the leading cause of disaster for world domination plans?
  • ...that sheep shrink when it rains?

In the news

On this day...

CAPSLOCK

October 22: Int-t-ternational S-s-stuttering Awareness Day and iNTERNATIONAL cAPS lOCK dAY

  • Beginning Of Time Mrs. Harris (the best Descendant of Chinggis Khan) was born on this epic day!!!!
  • 4004 BC GOD CREATES THE HEAVENS AND THE EARTH AT EXACTLY 6:00 PM (ACCORDING TO BISHOP USSHER)
  • 1780 - KING GEORGE VII DECLARES WAR ON TERRRRRRRROR.
  • 1850 - FIR FIR FIR FISST CELEBRATION OF NATIONAL ZOMBIE DAY. "BRAIIIINS" IS FAST BECOMING A PO PO POPULAR CATCHPH PH PHRASE.
  • 1889 - AMERICAN TYPEWRITER'S UNION CHANGES NAME TO AMERICAN FEDERATION OF DICTATION TAKERS
  • 1920 NEW YORK TIMES INTRODUCES ITS FAMOUS "NEWS ZIPPER"; WALL STREET JOURNAL CAUGHT WITH ITS PANTS DOWN
  • 1941 - WAR BREAKS OUT BETWEEN ALLIED STANDARD TYPEWRITER KEY BOARD LOVERS AND AXIS OF DVORAK USERS; PUNCTUATION SUFFERERS AROUND THE WORLD CAUGHT IN MIDDLE
  • 1962 - JFK PREVENTS SOVIETS FR FROM ARMING CUBA BY BLOCKING OFF THE ISLAND WITH HIS BOD BODY.
  • 1968 - LED ZEP-EP-EP-EPLIN RELEASES HIS CLASSIC ALBUM "LED ZEPPPPLIN IIIII", FEATURING HIS HIT SINGLE "WHOLE LOTTTTA LLLLLOVE"
  • 1977 - THE UNCLAI
  • 1984 - STRANGEEE BOOK COM COM COMEES OUT WITH TIT TITT TITTLE OF YEARRR
  • 2003 - MILLIONS OF N00BS WORLDWIDE DISCOVER THE CAPS LOCK KEY AND DECIDE TO ALWAYS TYPE LIKE THIS...
  • 2005 - W W W W W W W WOR WOR WORLD REC RE REC RECORD STUT ST STUTTER WI W W WIN WINS P P P P P P P P P PRI PRIZE
  • 2006 - CAPS LOCK DAY IS ALL FUN AND GAMES UNTIL CAPS LOCK GETS STUCK AND EVERYONE IS THOUGHT TO BE YELLING.
  • 2666 - I HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HAVE TH-TH-TH-TH-THE WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WOR-WORST ST-ST-ST-ST-ST-ST FUCK THIS IM OFF TO A HOUSE PARTY.

Featured picture

Chainsawcharge

Artist representation of the famous Charge of the Chainsaw Brigade, a pivotal moment on the road to victory which demonstrated the wisdom of bringing Canadian lumberjacks into the war.

Image Credit: Asahatter
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



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