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Poo Lit Surprise Logo The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. Poo Lit Surprise Logo
Somebody touch me.

Today's Featured Article - The X-HEIRS

XHeirs1

In the study of a large mansion, a strange and silent man sits motioness, brooding... (more...)

Recently featured: The X-HEIRS

Yesterday's Featured Article - Gul Dukat

Dukat

Gul Dukat is a wise Cardassian statesman and cuddly little genocidal maniac from the TV series's Star Trek: Deep Space Nine, Keeping Up with the Cardassians, and Gul Dukat Takes Miami. He is widely regarded as being the nicest character in TV history, but is constantly suffering from abuse by the other characters.

Before the beginning of the show, I, Dukat served as the prefect of the planet Bajor, which was under Cardassian occupation protection because they were really weak, primitive and pathetic and didn't know how to take care of themselves. They needed Dukat, to govern and defend them and he was there to help. Unfortunately, at this time, Bajor was threatened by evil terrorists who wanted to overthrow the legitimate government of Bajor, expel their Cardassian protectors, and establish a planet-wide theocracy.

Now, Dukat tried to be as kind as possible towards the Bajoran people, going out of my his way many times to hand out stuffed animals and apple juice. But the Bajorans complained that these had been produced in Bajoran work camps which for some reason upset them. Whatever, more Teddies for me. These happy work camps were created by the Cardassians to help train the primitive Bajorians in more modern ways of manufacturing (and to partially off-set the cost of protecting Bajor). (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Chamber pot, featured on 23 June 2015. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?
  • ... that you have probably broken at least three of the Ten Commandments just by visiting this website?
  • ... that the first use of "LOL" is in Shakespeare's play, As You Like It, and that the first use of "OMG" may be found in Macbeth?

In the news

On this day...

Custom water powered bus

June 23: Sonic the Hedgehog's Birthday

  • 1573 - Buses first put on sale in high markets.
  • 1609 - The last town in the world discovers dirt.
  • 1610 - Europe carved into that funny shape we know it to be. Celebrity chefs are thought to be responsible.
  • 1892 - Spider-Man does some fancy stuff with a bus, and with the whole coincidence with 1573, well, you get it.
  • 1929 - Puppies declared the cutest darned thing. Humans introduce rabies to dogs by kissing puppies.
  • 1941 - Lithuania declares independence from the Soviet Union, only to be invaded by Nazis.
  • 1957 - Gone With The Wind released by Big Ol' Hunka Pictures.
  • 1969 - The Hamburglar is appointed Chief Justice of the Supreme Court by Richard Nixon.
  • 1975 - In Benghazi, Muammar Gaddafi the Eggman is hit in the head by a football and becomes bent on world domination.
  • 1979 - Darth Thatcher begins construction of the first Death Star.
  • 1991 - Sonic the Hedgehog is released in America, Mario fans cringe.
  • 1993 - I buy some milk and put in my refrigerator; France goes on strike.
  • 1994 - I certainly wasn't committing a triple homicide!
  • 2005 - The milk in my refrigerator is going bad. Facebook poll returns "undecided" result on whether to replace it.
  • 2008 - Stockbrokers start the greatest recessions in modern history as most of the world needs a good laugh.
  • 2009 - Nothing fucking happened. I probably could have told you that, seeing how dull and miserable your life is. Well, too bad. You don't need me to tell you that. Everybody already knows your a pussy, and Nobody Cares what you think. Your whining sickens me, you know that? You really should leave. It'd make us all very happy. Right, everyone? Right.
  • 2011 - Jesus arrives on earth as a Native American. The US gives back their land and Jesus gets a sitcom.
  • 2014 - Chaos Emeralds replace Bitcoin as the cryptocurrency of choice.

Featured picture

Armstrong moon

The famous 1969 Life cover featuring The Apollo Program's culmination, the successful landing of Louis Armstrong on the Moon.

Image Credit: Gerrycheevers
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

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More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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