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OTTAWA, MANITOBA Pranksters who work for the Bank of Canada shocked and amused citizens of the northernmost North American Continent nation by infusing the green ink with which its banknotes are printed with lysergic acid dyethylmiode (LSD or, depending upon one's interpretation and chutzpah, Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds), causing them to imagine seeing all manner of strange things in their currency.
The bank claims that there is method in its madness. The new bills were released, officials claim, to counter counterfeiting, extend the life of the bills, and celebrate Canada's dubious domestic achievements.
However, Canadians wondered why their dollars portrayed the World Trade Center, which is—or was—in New York City, rather than the Canadian National Vimy Memorial which commemorates the Canadian's one and only victory in World War I, the Battle of Vimy Ridge.
“That's an easy one,” Thomas Minton, a government official who requested anonymity, replied. “The buildings on the bill are the National Vimy Memorial, not the World Trade Center, and, besides, even if the buildings were the World Trade Center, rather than the National Vimy Memorial, which they are not, the newly released currency is intended to commemorate domestic successes, not military victories overseas.” (more...)
Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that it is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
- *ahem*
Political correctness was invented for niggers, bitches, fags and retards. AIDS is good because it kills off all those dirty Niggers. All non-"white straight working for the man and having two kids in a nice family with a picket fence and a dog Christian males" should be killed
- *ahem*
Political correctness was brought in for blacks, women, gays and disabled people. People who follow PC should be killed. Black people should die. You are making me self censor myself bitch-
- *AHEM*
Political correctness was introduced for African-Americans, females, homosexuals and mentally or physically challenged persons, to avoid discrim-
- *AHEM*
DIE YOU MOTHER FUCKING POLITICAL CORRECT HOUND -
- *no no not the face AHHHHHHHHHH*
Now, as I was saying, Political correctness is based on the valid idea protected under principles of a civilized society proposed by progressive elements of society and empathic and sociable interest groups to promote civilized behavior and prevent exclusion towards minorities, disadvantaged members of society, and fellow human beings outside of one's own particular society. This responsible code of conduct prevents offensive or otherwise undesirable projections towards persons of specific demographics. (more...)
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Did you know...
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- ... that, due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled?
- ...that Napoleon suffered from short man syndrome?
- ... that, due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled?
- ...that Napoleon suffered from short man syndrome?
- ... that, due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled?
- ...that Napoleon suffered from short man syndrome?
- ... that, due to lack of interest, tomorrow has been canceled?
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In the news
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On this day...
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May 27:, National Homicide Day
- 2 - World's first homosexual celebrates his 40th birthday by helping create The Church of Tyra.
- 1032 - In England, first "Knocke, Knocke: whoeth art there?" joke performed in public.
- 1703 - Tsar Peter the Great, retitled Tsar Peter the "Meh, Okay".
- 1895 - Oscar Wilde is sent to prison, then released when the hamster never pressed charges.
- 1927 - Researchers in America discover 8th colour of the rainbow; call it 'onion'.
- 1931 - Jesus Christ considers performing the second coming; decides he'd rather get Taco Bell and watch porn.
- 1936 - Freddy Krueger kills himself in his own dreams accidentally. He reincarnates the same day for no reason as Walt Disney.
- 1937 - J.R.R Tolkien commences work on the majestic 'The Matrix: Revolutions'.
- 1947 - Mexico Space Program launches first rocket powered by jumping beans.
- 1955 - J. Edgar Hoover wins the New York Marathon dressed in a tutu.
- 1963 - The Beatles kick Joseph Stalin out of the band. He quickly composes "Back in the USSR" as a mild revenge.
- 1969 - Hippies collect signatures to forbid showers. "They are so concentration camp" is their argument.
- 1974 - Jimi Hendrix makes love to his guitar on stage. He is promptly taken to a hospital where he dies of severe penis shredding.
- 1977 - A small visitor's center opens inside Space Mountain, with its line causing one of the biggest humanitarian disasters of today.
- 1985 - Ronald Reagan sets a new high score for Pac-Man, humiliating former champion Mikhael Gorbachev.
- 1989 - Lenin is sighted in Nebraska.
- 2006 - Midsummer village now has NO MORE PEOPLE TO MURDER
- 2006 - The Vatican, Luxembourg, Malta and Fiji form the Small Countries Alliance - the most dangerous set of allies since the Axis. Together, they have a total population of 800 and double that in nuclear bombs.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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The dancing banana Shabidoo stepped up to the plate and joined all the other fruits to be honoured with Writer of the Month in April. He is the author of works like HowTo:Make Breakfast Dew (For Women), Ozone, Nothing is permanent and Mahjong. Shabido is a keen collaborator with others and an organiser of events, so perhaps we can see a future career path for this particular Uncyclopedian. Shabido is also a regular contributor to 'my two cents worth' style of forums (in a good way) and has yet to swap unbridled enthusiasm for world weary cynicism that is a mark of some of the veteran contributors to this site. Shine on Shabidoo until that banana stops dancing to the music of time...(as isn't it time you got off that computer and come and talk to the rest of your family?).
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 First to get our notice was XDshempXD, a self described Mexican enduring life in the USA. What's more, XDShempXD is a woman, yes to all you short trousered wearers and code kiddies, a girl has come to your party! So behave now and wash your faces more often. XDshempXD (can we call you Shempy??) has been here since the middle of 2011 and has brought with her stories with a more more Latin American flavour. So now we have articles like UnBooks:Sexually suggestive songs by Roberto Carlos which confused me as I thought it was about an ex-Brazilian football player but is indeed someone closer to home for her.
Our second Noob of the Moment is Alpha Quintesson. He has gravitated to what I like to call the 'sharp end' of Uncyclopedia, rooting out and alerting the dinosaur speedy admins here about some nasty little vandals trying to upset the organised, efficient work processes here. I hope he can also find time to write a bit more as well. Finally there is Mockingbird ST. What the ST stands remains a mystery... or no one has asked him as yet (probably the latter). It's a great user name all the same though perhaps some people may want to kill him for literary title reasons. I hope not, otherwise we would not have articles like Counting to potato to consider.
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Like receiving a carriage clock, a ticket to the ballet or a new set of teeth, the monthly award for general all round usefulness is a recognition that this user is now reaching a pinnacle... or is that a Pinocchio of achievement. In April the community voted in favour of Funnybony. For those who don't know 'FB', he has been one of this site's most prolific of authors. His user page is almost groaning under the weight of his many works but something isn't so well known, FB is one of the most generous, and genuine guys here. FB likes to talk, work with other people and even if you don't vote in favour of one his works, FB remains a model of politeness. He is also a friend of Jeff Beck and was really there in the 1960s when music became the cultural phenomena of that decade. Funnybony doesn't need to be here, he could be sitting on a verandah drinking or meditating or both but instead he likes to write for fun. Uncyclopedia has certainly benefitted from his output. What more can I, or we, say about that. Now... Funnybony, do really want that clock...?
Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners
Now you only have 4, yes 4 days to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!
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Uncyclopedia's sista projects
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| Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
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The 10th edition of the Poo Lit Surprise writing competition is now open for submissions. 
