Main Page

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia

(Redirected from Main page)
Jump to: navigation, search
Welcome to Uncyclopedia,
the content-free encyclopedia that anyone can edit.
31,427 articles in English

Beginner's Guide · The Big Five · Style · Questions · Help · Categories · Featured content · A–Z index · F icon

Today's Featured Article - Accident

Spdcamcrash

An accident is an undesirable event that could have been prevented with planning, intelligent management of circumstances, and swift action.

Scientists who study unintentional injury avoid using the term "accident" (in favour of the more precise terms "mishap" or "cock-up") and focus on factors that increase risk of severe injury and that reduce injury incidence and severity. This does not seriously reduce the incidence of accidents ("Don't Kill the Job!") but makes accidents more pleasant.

Accidents can be serious, like choking to death on a chicken nugget, or funny, like the accidental deployment of an air-bag when your car hits a speed bump. Accidents can be a trigger for new think tanks, new laws and new inventions, such as triply reinforced Depends. Accidents are also a good reminder that, despite the rhetoric, humans are, and will always be, stratospherically dumb.

Physical accidents include motor vehicle collisions, falls, touching something sharp/hot/electrical, ingesting poison, or having a deleted email from Hillary Clinton. (more...)

Recently featured: Accident

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Irish Potato Famine, featured on 30 August 2014. See the featured version.
Minecraft, featured on 30 August 2012. See the featured version.
Ozone, featured on 30 August 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

689509 military parade 2
  • ...that the entire army of Liechtenstein consists of 3 soldiers? (pictured)
  • ...that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ...that babies explode when you put them in the microwave?
  • ...that it's not butter?
  • ...that hitting your kids may be beneficial to their health, or at the very least amusing to you?
  • ...that within a few weeks of being held in captivity dolphins are able to train humans to stand at the side of a pool and throw them fish?
  • ...that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?

In the news:

On this day...

Dyslexic satan worshippers

August 30: Intentional Dyslexic Devil Worshipper day

  • 0 - devil worship is invented by emo lord Hebert.
  • 986 - A devil worshipper gets tricked into selling his soul to god.
  • 1585 - Devil worshippers are saved from being burned in the stake after the inquisitor concludes they were only cursing "dog"
  • 1992 - Devil worshippers are confused and name their religion the Church of Santa Ana.
  • 1994 - Eugene Victor Tombs begins his search for the horizon.
  • 1997 - Devil worshippers go to an apartment in New York for their pilgrimage to Stan.
  • 9199 - De vil foll woers f era KY2 com ptuer suh t down t o be teh end of a ll mnaknid. T om Cr uis e cure s Sa nat of his dysle xia thro ghu Sci en tolog y.
  • 2001 - Confused devil worshippers vandalize walls by spray painting 999 on them.
  • 2004 - Gorgoroth released their new album with Dyslexic Satan worshipping become the new subgenre called "Tarzanic Black Metal"
  • 2005 - A dyslexic devil worshipper sells his soul to Santa.
  • By 2010 it is projected that there will be over 900,000 dyslexic weevil dorshippers in the world.
  • By 2015 it is projected that 60% of all dyslexic devil worshippers will worship Santa, 30% will worship Stan, and 10% will worship Satin.
  • 3001 - The Answer to Life, The Universe, and Everything is discovered along with the question that it is the answer to. Simultaneous knowledge of both causes the Universe to vanish from existence, which is replaced by something even more bizarre.

Today's featured picture

Imperialism2

Though the United States' new strategy in Iraq has proven effective at routing insurgent rebels, it has done little to relieve the stigma of what many perceive as American imperialism.

Image Credit: Thetoastman
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Buddha10.jpg

Strauss and Howe | Cartoon Network (r/w) | Billy Joel (r/w) | Tim Berners-Lee (pictured) | Saturday Night Fever | Anarchy | Theresa May | Tim Farron | Benedict Cumberbatch | Melania Trump | Courtney Love | Pokémon Go | Pets | Lapwing | Brexit | Glastonbury Festival | Dog (r/w) | Stradbroke (r/w) | Hotline (disambiguation) | Worcester, England | Canon (camera) | Rolls Royce | Accident | BMW | Ares | Audi | Lana Del Rey | Bird (rw) | Edexcel | Manchester NH | Springtime writing contest: Lemonade | Boaty McBoatface |


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Articles to fix | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about...

Clock is ticking! There's only one more day to nominate and vote for Writer of the Month, Noob of the Month and Uncyclopedian of the Month, GET VOTING!!

Uncyclopedia's sista projects

Uncyclopedia is hosted by the Uncyclomedia Foundation, a non-profitable organization that also hosts a range of other projects.
UnNews Logo Potato (No text) UnNews
The news source on crack
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia
Undictionary Logo Text Undictionary
The ick!tionary of all things best left unsaid
UnTunes2 UnTunes
Where noisy things can live and prosper
Game-Logo notext Games
Another way to waste time
Gorillatrans HowTo
Instructions and guides for anything and everything
Unbooks-logo notext UnBooks
Content-free books
Unquotable-logo-en vector notext Unquotable
Useless misquotes galore
Uncycloversity-logo-notext Uncycloversity
If it makes sense, we don't want it
UnPoetialogo UnPoetia
Poetry for people who hate poetry
Undebate logo UnDebate
Debating all the irrelevant issues
UnScripts UnScripts
We can ruin stage and film too
Why Why?
Don't make me explain it to you twice
UnReviewsLogo UnReviews
We'll tell you why things suck
Uncyclomedia Commons notext UnCommons
Broken media repository


Uncyclopedia Languages

This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 31,427 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages:
Uncyclopedia Puzzle Potato Notext
Uncyclopedia
English
United Kingdom
W17x11 30557
Desciclopédia
Português
Brazil
45286
アンサイクロペディア
日本語
Japan
18180
Nonsensopedia
Polski
Poland
W17x11 16666
Nonciclopedia
Italiano
Italy
W17x11 13518
Wiki it
1dÉ
Désencyclopédie
Français
France
W17x11 8364
Inciclopedia
Español
Spain
W17x11 10392
偽基百科
正體中文
Taiwan
5720
Uncyclopedia.de
Deutsch
Germany
W17x11 Unknown
Hikipedia
Suomi
Finland
7614
Hikipedia
Pagecount statistics listed above were updated on September 3, 2014.

Protected by the Fair Use Clause, and an elite clan of Clinjas.

Potatohead aqua Featured Article  (read another featured article) Featured version: 1 April 2008
This article has been featured on the main page. — You can vote for or nominate your favourite articles at Uncyclopedia:VFH.
<includeonly>Template:FA/01 April 2008Template:FA/2008</includeonly>
Personal tools
projects