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Today's Featured Article - The Doctor is IN

The doctor is in

The twin colossi of Psychoanalysis, Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung, were two of a kind; bearded nineteenth century, middle European poop-obsessives. It is no surprise, therefore, that for many the standard image of the psychoanalyst is of a heavily accented pervert who assumes his own deviant sexual interest in his mother is universal. Had Jung and Freud been the only model of the Psychoanalyst it seems unlikely that the profession would ever have gained the high esteem that it holds today in modern USA. For that a more approachable, more wholesome, more American Psychoanalyst would be required. But who could fill the role?

Until the early 1900’s the only advice available to those several shots short of a piss-up was to pull themselves together and not make a scene (still the standard prescription for British sufferers of scrambled synapse syndrome). Following the publication of Freud’s masterpiece “Ihre Mutter” (Your Mom), however, the nation was awash with professionals expensively inviting you to blame yourself for your problems and to enrol yourself on a thirty month course of “talking therapy”. Who but the wealthy could afford bad advice at $100 an hour? The profession seemed about to founder when the late 1950s saw the arrival of Doctor Lucille Van Pelt, dispenser of bad advice for a mere five cents a session.

Despite a lack of formal qualifications beyond Grade School within years Van Pelt had diagnosed the mental issues of her fellow Peanuts co-stars and realised the pain behind the smiles of so many others who are paid to entertain us in the burgeoning cartoon industry. The Doctor was IN. (more...)

Recently featured: The Doctor is IN - Bluestocking

Yesterday's Featured Article - Bluestocking

Bluestocking01

The Bluestockings were a group of lesbians from the 18th century with foot fetishes who had a discreet code for recognising each other—wearing blue stockings—hence their society's title. Just like many other societies of the modern era, the group had certain criteria that were to be checked for and met during the prospective bluestocking's initiation ceremony: a prestigious education, literacy, a state of good birth, a substantial lot of money and some measure of political influence were always considered by the madams who admit new members, but these were not nearly as important as the possession of a vagina dentata, at least 10cm² of pubic hair, a sworn hatred of her husband, an apartment large enough to have an orgy in and a pair of blue stockings.

The founding of the society by "Queen of the Blues" Bessie Smith in 1748 was said to be a woman's answer to the ever-growing popularity of the Gentleman's Club, where respectable homosexual gentlemen would frolic and read newspapers. Other than doing dominatrix-related antics, the ladies would read the classics such as Virgil or Homer, discuss politics (local issues such as refuse collection lapses or corruption within the ranks of refuse collectors), and lament upon how awful Edward Gibbon was in the sack. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Skeleton warrior, featured on 1 October 2011. See the featured version.
Dragon Age: Origins, featured on 1 October 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Topless woman 11111

In the news

On this day...

Contagious disease

October 1: Winter Paradox (Eastern Hemisphere), Contagious Disease Appreciation Day

  • 1/0 AD - I was born... My name is "undefined"
  • 331 BC - Alexander the Great defeats Darius III of Persia in the Battle of the Bands.
  • 1987 - Malaysia :the smartest guy born in Sibu.
  • 1890 - 'Yosemite Sam' National Park established.
  • 1919 - Woodrow Wilson falls down the White House stairs and is the first President to lose use of his left big toe.
  • 1928 - The Soviet Union introduces its first Five-Year Plan, which is to come up with another five year plan in five years.
  • 1930 - "October 1 day" celebrated in Paris. Rioting ensues.
  • 1960 - Nigeria gains independence from the United Kingdom. This event is celebrated by a solemn ten seconds of not sending spam emails.
  • 1962 - Riots in Mississippi as Alabama wins the "America's most racist state" award. Alabama's victory brought to an end Mississippi's 30-year winning streak.[1]
  • 1963 - Intelligent design is no longer taught in schools after the California State Board of Education is created.
  • 1964 - The Free Speech Movement is launched on the campus of University of California, Berkeley. Previously students had been charged up to a nickle per syllable for each word uttered.
  • 1971 - Orlando, Florida founded after settlers discover Walt Disney World.
  • 1975 - Muhammed Ali declared the eventual winner against Joe Frazier in a fight dubbed the "Battle in Guadacanal".
  • 1979 - The Hunt For Red October officially began. It was supposed to start on September 28th, but they waited a couple of days to save them changing the name.
  • 1998 - Raccoon City is destroyed by three cruise missiles and repeated aerial bombardment in an attempt to contain a T-Virus outbreak
  • 2003 - Bournemouth recognised as a city by the British government, entire world shocked.
  • 2004 - In a desperate bid to diversify its business Microsoft engineers and a team from Wigan University, England invent the pineapple chunk.
  • 2005 - Official Reminder: September has now ended. Now is an appropriate time to wake up Billie Joe from Green Day.
  • 2007 - 12 men celebrate Man Flu by going on an all night bender, only 5 survive, a doctor prescribes reruns of Match Of The Day and plenty of Nuts magazines.a.j hastings willingly raped by 24 men
  • 2007 - Punch me in the Nuts Barney is launched and instantly becomes a sell-out.
  • 2009 - Swine Flu kills everybody but the Republican leaders. They die soon afterward due to the fact they never learned how to feed themselves.
  • 1973 - Richard nixon crowned worlds sexiest man; Rioting ensues.

Today's featured picture

SkinFlute

The Skin Flute, an instrument that many bohemians and crack-whores enjoy playing in their spare time, has greatly increased in popularity due to additives that can increase comfortable playing time by nearly four hours. Oftentimes, a skin flautist uses the instrument of another to play their masterpieces, for which they are either paid a substantial sum, given a follow-up performance, or neither. The practice of giving a skin flute to more than one person to play has led to the spread of many STDs - that is, skinflute transmitted diseases - and has thus also increased its cultural taboo.

Image Credit: Zombiebaron
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