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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Dog

Yesterday's Featured Article - Dog

Dog toilet

Dog (Canis lupus familiaris or Canis familiaris) are domesticated canids that have been selectively bred for millennia to play ‘ball’, ‘find it’, round up groups of stupid wooley white animals and bury bones. Their physical anatomy is specifically designed for sniffing hedges, chasing small round yellow bouncy things or car wing mirrors, tail wagging and barking, with recovery periods required to be taken lying upside-down on sofas, or hairy rugs by a nice warm fire.

Dogs are the most diverse species on earth, ranging from small argumentative ratters, to giant hounds that prefer to take a quieter, more philosophical approach to dealing with other dogs or animals. Dogs have a wide variety of jobs, including frisbee-catchers, woodland explorers, stick rescuers and street patrollers. Some dogs are employed to sit on laps, whereas others work in the fashion industry as handbag accessories.

There are many dog celebrities, such as Lassie and Spot. Laika was the world's first astronaut[1] and Spuds the bull terrier is the face of Budweiser. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Cruel and unusual punishment, featured on 23 April 2015. See the featured version.
HowTo:Leave Uncyclopedia as Dramatically as Possible, featured on 23 April 2013. See the featured version.
India, featured on 23 April 2012. See the featured version.

Did you know...

TDF portrait
  • ...that I'm coming to get you? (pictured)
  • ...that George Washington was an avid heterosexual?
  • ...that while laughter is the best medicine, many cancer patients prefer chemotherapy?
  • ...that one person can change the world?
  • ...that I like cats, but could never eat a whole one?
  • ...that there are at least three other businesses like show business?
  • ...that Euroipods is a website giving away free ipods in return for completing offers and reffering freinds to do the same?

In the news:

On this day...

Worldsnooker
April 23: Bring Your Penis To Work Day
  • 303 - St. George takes his penis to beat the dragon with. Dragon turns out to be into that kinda stuff.
  • 1179 - Richard the Lionhearted attempts to engage King Philip of France in a penis sword fight; "Homo you don't!" replies Philip.
  • 1538 - Truce of Nice: Emperor Charles V and Francis I of France agree that the terms foreskin and prepuce are interchangeable.
  • 1562 - Elizabeth I vows not to take a penis to work, or her bed chamber.
  • 1875 - Queen Victoria outlaws the word penis; decrees henceforth the organ shall be known as "Naughty Mr. Johnson".
  • 1905 - The Royal Society compare penis sizes. Von Lynchenstein had the largest penis.
  • 1909 - Czarina Alexandra beholds Rasputin's penis and won't let go.
  • 1932 - California gets filled with the world's stockpile of penises.
  • 1941 - Lead singer from Lordi enters a beauty contest against a penis. Penis wins.
  • 1953 - Queen Elizabeth II announces that she shall confer upon the penis the title of Sir.
  • 1967 - Bono is voted the "World's Biggest Penis".
  • 1968 - Flower Power is replaced by Wind Power, and all the petals are blown away.
  • 1971 - Penis arrives in the Castro.
  • 1975 - President Gerald Ford announces that the Vietnam War is over, after an unfortunate misunderstanding over the soldiers running around with their penises in their hands.
  • 1982 - ZX Spectrum released to the public, keyboard made completely of recycled condoms.
  • 1993 - Bill Clinton becomes the first USA president since JFK to bring his penis to the white house.
  • 2005 - The B-lizard's penis freezes and falls off. Adventure Quest voted the best game ever made by stoners.
  • 2008 - Your mom forgets to pack your penis in your lunchbox. You get teased the rest of the day.
  • 2009 - Tiger Woods brings his penis all over the place, including a Perkins Restaurant.

Today's featured picture

Grue crossing

The Grue Crossing signs have proven to be an effective way to prepare drivers for an encounter.

Image Credit: Kaizer the Bjorn
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Recent Articles

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Horatio Nelson | Caffè Nero | Washington University in St. Louis | World Mission Society Church of God | Morris County | Dominica (pictured) | Monty Python | Hoboken NJ | Women's suffrage in the United Kingdom | Smörgåsbord | Quantum tunneling | Mika | Victory lap | Rogue One | Kraftwerk (r/w) | Gamergate controversy | Amarillo TX | Full Metal Jacket (r/w) | Peter Singer | Maplewood NJ | Barney's Hide & Seek Game | Kenny G (r/w) | Osmosis Jones | Air Training Corps | Short Hills NJ | Single mothers | Catwoman | Devo (r/w) | Porky Pig | Grand Moff Tarkin (r/w) |


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