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Hail my lord! We have two worthy candidates to carry thy banner of infinite humor. But we cannot make a decision between those two brave knights.
Tell me about these fine knights. Tell me about their armor. Tell me about their wit. Tell me about their musculature. Tell me about their chastity belts.
My lord, you're drooling.
slurp apologies, good minister. But do tell!
Well, my lord, one is infinitely strange. He looks at you strangely from his red eyes. He carries sacks of evil smelling herbs and mumbles in strange languages. I think he might be a powerful shaman. Once, he even turned me into a newt!
...A newt?
Err..sorry...wrong story. The other champion is seems quite able. He's tall, handsome, wears an armor of white scales and wields a six foot sword.
...A six foot sword?!
My lord, you're drooling again.
Ah yes, my apologies once more. So do tell, have they passed all the tests?
Yes my lord.
The gauntlet? The 100 meter burning coal dash? The piranha nude swimming? The walrus head bashing? The trivial pursuit - Bush edition?
All of those my lords. They've even done the anal probe.
Well I'll be damned! That makes is a very difficult decision. Hmmm....hmmm....hmmm...
My lord?
Shut up. I'm thinking. Hmmm...hmmm...hmmm....Tell you what. We'll keep them both.
That's very unorthodox.
True, but there's nothing in the book that says otherwise, right?
Yes...but...
Good! It's settled! Send the tall muscular one to my chambers. Make sure he takes a bath first.
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