A Fortune cookie is a crisp, wafer-like cookie that is baked around a message of infinite wisdom and prophecy. The cookies are usually served after dinner at authentic Chinese restaurants. Although the Chinese have known the secrets of the fortune cookie for millenia, the rest of the world only gained knowledge of the untapped wisdom of the fortune cookie in the mid 16th century, when the prophet Nostradamus utilized fortune cookies and opium to see the future. (more...)
...that if we used a language without homonyms, a certain type of pun would be impossible, and thereby much gaiety would be lost?
...that The Oldest Trick in the Book is the infamous "Tapping on a person's left shoulder when you're standing on their right"? This trick was first chronicled in cuneiform by the Ancient Sumerians, who lived on the windswept steppes of Mesopotamia.
0 - Scientist decide the Earth is round, not flat. This is proven wrong when a sailor "falls" off the world and is never seen again.
1066 - King Harold inaugerates National Hysteria Day with his famous speech "Holy shit! It's the fucking Normans! AAAAAAAAA!"
1855 - An brief cease-fire is called in the Crimean War until Lord Raglan gets his sobbing under control.
1929 - Dozens of stockbrokers and bankers leap out of windows in wild National Hysteria Day celebration.
1966 - AustralianPrime Minister Sir Robert Menzies celebrates the nine hundredth anniversary of National Hysteria Day by running around in circles, screaming.
1986 - Copious amounts of vodka-induced partying causes several employees of the Chernobyl nuclear power plant to hysterically panic when the reactor can't handle the sound system. They take out a few control rods to compensate the drain on the power grid.
1990 - Media outlets report the outbreak of a deadly virus in the United States. Thirty-eight people die of panic attacks from the announcement, and two people are killed by the virus itself.
Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.