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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Osmosis Jones

Yesterday's Featured Article - Osmosis Jones

Ozzyndrix

Osmosis Jones is a 2001 American live-action/animated buddy cop comedy film with decent animated scenes directed by Tom Sito and Piet Kroon and horrendous live-action scenes directed by the Farrelly Brothers (though the commercials, end credits, and Amazon.com product descriptions outright lie to you and claim the Farrellys were the movie's "main" directors). It centers on Osmosis "Ozzy" Jones, an African-American white blood cell cop who complains that germs are trying to oppress him with viruses and infections, and Drix, a whitebread cold pill straight outta the FDA who is no match for Ozzy's utter hipness and spleenwise attitude. The two must break down the racial cell walls and prevent seductive virus Thrax from killing their host body — slovenly zookeeper and deadbeat dad Frank Detorre — within forty-eight hours. Ultimately, Jones is caught in an intimate triad, and must decide between his best friend Drix, Big Daddy Thrax, and Mayor Shatner's curvaceous secretary Leah.

Osmosis Jones was met with mixed reviews, with critics praising the fun and educational animated portions but criticizing the live-action portions, their degradation of national treasure Bill Murray, and their use of sub-Will Ferrell gross-out humor featuring exploding zits. The film was the second in a string of financial failures by Warner Bros. Feature Animation, hoping to find success at the antipode to The Iron Giant, though it certainly wouldn't be their last multi-million-dollar mistake as Warner continued to struggle with long-term illness and creative decisions indicative of degenerative brain damage from late-stage Rabbititis. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Symphony in Z Minor, featured on 20 January 2013. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Cabbage
  • ...that cabbages are not to be trifled with? (pictured)
  • ...that condoms prevent many sexually transmitted diseases, and at least one erection?(sorry Candace)
  • ...that every time you shoot yourself in the head, someone somewhere in the world dies?
  • ...that half of all American schoolchildren graduate in the bottom 50% of their class?
  • ...that it's probably not the weekend (The chance is 5/7)?
  • ...that censorship is a tactic practiced by oppressive governments who believe in upholding an arbitrary social standard for the so-called "good of the people" while simultaneously imposing their peremptory moral values on their unwilling populace by dictating what is and what is not necessary for them to experience?
  • ...that the average human male between the ages of 13 and 18 is has thought about sex with Brad Pitt at least once?
    • ...and if you haven't before you just did after reading the above statement.

In the news:

On this day...

January 20: Nobody edit Uncyclopedia Day Or Else
Too-fuckin-good

Why do I get my Hopes up?

  • 1492 - Columbus becomes president of America.
  • 1937 - The 20th Amendment is passed, forcing all presidental candidates to compete in a 100-meter dash to decide the primaries. Surprisingly, Franklin D. Roosevelt is the first president to win this event.
  • 1942 - The Nazi Party gives the final solution to the "Jewish question", though the Jews insist that they were just asking for directions.
  • 1984 - Armies of Oceania defeat Eurasian armies in the Congo.
  • 1988 - Everybody ignored this holiday.
  • 1992 - Governer Bill Clinton beats Paul Tsongas in the primaries. Investigations as to whether or not Clinton bit part of Tsongas's ear off in the final stretch are launched.
  • 2004 - Pinky and the Brain finally take over the world, and are then killed by Joe Cartoon in a blender.
  • 2007 - People are still intent on ignoring this holiday.
  • 2008 - No-one has edited Uncyclopedia! Until I just did. Oh shit.
  • 2009 - International Change Day. Citizens of the 'Homeless Undead'-ridden Californian cities get a day of reprieve from demands for change as the masses of change-hungry 'Zombos' are distracted by a change of power in Washington
  • 2010 - Some n00b edits Uncyclopedia.
  • 2300 - after leaving earth after 2012, humans finally get to the only safe planet, uranis.
  • 2301 - finally people decide to wipe uranis clean of those mean little stinky brown blobs.

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Wordprocessor

The Microsoft Word Processor is good for the office and the kitchen! It can be yours for just 3 easy payments of $39.99!

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