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Today's Featured Article - Super-delegate

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A Super-delegate, in the American political system, is a delegate, especially to a national Presidential nominating convention, who is endowed with super-powers. Although both the Democratic Party and the Republican Party like to go through the motions of soliciting voter input on who should be the Party's Presidential candidate, actual voters are, to put it mildly, morons. Frequently, the Party must contrive to both thank them for their valued contribution and hit the figurative Revert button.

The hoi polloi tirelessly coalesce around a candidate with inspiring new ideas, be it Bernie Sanders with his untested concept of socialism, or Ron Paul with his assertions that American tourism caused the Middle East to erupt until Jews had to dynamite the World Trade Center during the September 11 attacks. When such candidates gain traction, insiders (the "party-archy") need to turn away from the hoi polloi, consult with other polloi, and pick a candidate who is more electable, electability judged by persons who cannot persuade anyone of any actual idea. (more...)

Recently featured: Super-delegate

Yesterday's Featured Article -

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Benzene, featured on 26 June 2014. See the featured version.
Winfield Scott, featured on 26 June 2012. See the featured version.
Tom Paine, featured on 26 June 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

Chicken jesus
  • ...that it's a surprisingly simple process to starting your own religion? (pictured)
  • ...that Godot isn't coming?
  • ...that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ...that the handgun is one of the most pitiful guns you can find, seeing as it's part of your hand?
  • ...that Freddie Mercury was banned in some European countries due to his extremely radioactive last name?
  • ...that Kitten Huffing is a popular, though controversial, alternative to street drugs such as skag and crank?
  • ...that (\tan^{-1}((\frac{-5\pm\sqrt{5^2+(4\times3)\times2}}{2\times3}\div2)\div(\frac{-5\pm\sqrt{5^2+(4\times3)\times2}}{2\times3}\div2)))\times2 is 8th grade math?

In the news:

On this day...

StMasturbusDay

June 26: St. Masturbus' day

  • 4.5 million BC - Morgan Freeman created a planet full of dinausaur and asians from his diarrhea
  • 1 million BC - Cthulhu invents Christmas, when bored.
  • 1856 BC - Black people start writing.
  • 1855 BC - Brown people begin developing a complex society.
  • 1854 BC - Yellow people begin Astronomy.
  • 1853 BC - White people start painting their arses blue.
  • 1087 - St. Clittorus gets really pissed because she was promised to have this day named after herself but totally got screwed over.
  • 1123 - Pope Callistus II declares the saintity of St. Dildo.
  • 1284 - The Pied Piper lures 130 children of Hamelin away. Piping Hot Pies are soon outlawed.
  • 1718 - The Tsar's son suspiciously turns up dead after he is sentenced to death.
  • 1721 - Cthulhu invents Christmas II.
  • 1927 - The Cyclone roller coaster opens on Coney Island
  • 1928 - A cyclone comes to Coney Island and completely destroys it.
  • 1963 - John F. Kennedy gives his famous "Ich bin ein Selbstgeschlechter" speech.
  • 1981 - Tom Cruise brings to life a Giant Tampax, that, in an ironical twist of destiny, would kill him exactly 24 years later.
  • 2005 - Tom Cruise is killed by a Giant Tampax in an ironical twist of fate.
  • 2005 - Richard Whiteley dies after finally unscrambling the conundrum PIANOMENU
  • 2016 - The 'this is today' gag is used for the first time in history.

Today's featured picture

RacismProtest

BNP rally.

Image Credit: Digi
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