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Today's featured article
Ol' Red is a country song by famous country singer Blake Shelton that is based off true events. It's about a man (by coincidence, Blake Shelton himself) who commits a crime of passion and is sent to prison, a place where prisoners are unable to escape thanks to a bloodhound named Ol' Red who can track down anything. But Shelton had an idea which would allow him to escape from prison: he would use what got him there in the first place...love.
The song is considered the most famous country song ever, and has been covered by many singers, bands, and Southern good-old-boy drunks.
The Story
The song itself was based on the true story of Blake Shelton, why he went to a prison that was labelled 'inescapable' because of a dog called Ol' Red, and how he managed to escape by using the awesome power of love. (more...)
Yesterday's featured article
Cracker Barrel is a Southern-themed family style restaurant that operates in North America, particularly in the United States. The chain has locations in 41 states with each business consisting of a restaurant and a country store that sells cheap junk that only your grandmother would want to buy. The nostalgia of the "stuff" these folks peddle easily offsets the extremely poor and toxic quality of the goods. The food itself is fairly decent considering it is processed southern comfort food. Cracker Barrels can be found along the fine Interstate Highways of America: if you see an exit or interchange, chances are there's a Cracker Barrel lurking around the corner waiting to ambush unsuspecting travelers. (more...)
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In the news
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- Russian PM Putin rocks with Expelled Agents
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On this day...
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| Colonization of the Week
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For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.
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Writer and Noob of the Month
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Writer of the month is an award, given out to one person, who, tradition dictates, is usually a writer of some kind. The process is all very simple and straightforward. However this month Uncyclopedia awoke to the extraordinary sight of two young whipper-snappers bucking the trend together. Matfen is a smashing fellow and I would encourage everyone to speak to him, read his articles and sleep with his sister. Dexter111344 on the other hand must be fucking magical or something to have even come close to winning this award. As a direct result Uncyclopedia would also like to urge its users to stop being such bloody minded bitches when voting for awards and only choose one winner in future, after all how are we meant to crush spirits and stamp out creativity if everyone wins?
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His name is NonchalantCaterpillar, he has done some good stuff with images, is writing some articles and I heard that he drives a car from Argentina. Other than that, nobody knows anything about NonchalantCaterpillar and for that reason we have decided he should be Noob of the Month, when we went to ask him what he thought about this he uploaded an image of a gun being held to a dog's head; at which point we decided to go away again. So well done NonchalantCaterpillar on winning the Noob of the Month award and this fabulous strimmer, however I'm not going back in there to give it to you, I'll leave it in these bushes, you can come and fetch it if you want it.
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