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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Georges Danton

Yesterday's Featured Article - Georges Danton

GeorgesDanton4

Georges Jacques Danton (26 October 1759 – 5 April 1794) was a leader of the French Revolution who was even uglier than the actor who once played him in a French movie.

Danton today is seen as a 'hero' of France. Streets and battleships are named after this Jacobin responsible for the deaths of Louis XVI and Marie Antoinette. Even guard dogs carry the name of the man who helped to define France's big leap from monarchy into anarchy. (more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Introduction joke, featured on 9 December 2013. See the featured version.
Mexico tourism brochure, featured on 9 December 2011. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that Uranus is a gas giant?
  • ...that ten out of ten cigarette manufacturers agree that Cancer is great?
  • ...that it takes a great amount of sexual commitment to get a computer turned on, but once your computer is properly aroused, it can offer you some of the greatest sexual thrills you may ever experience?
  • ...that the Russian Reversal is the common English term for the phenomenon during which a person descended from Russia is spontaneously turned around?
  • ...that torture is better to give than to receive?
  • ...that your birth certificate is an apology letter from condom factory?

In the news

On this day...

Captain Planet (early design)

December 9: Captain Planet Memorial Day, and Corporate Web 2.0 Takeover Day

  • 2303 BC - Hallmark announces December 25 as International Day of Christmas.
  • 6 BC - 6 AD - Jesus is born (nobody knows exactly when, the Bible does not mention), Christmas Zero is a huge success. Boxing Day sales start early. Astrologers around the world rejoice.
  • 1337 - Time for a plagarized, boring, cliched, 1337 reference! L0L!!1!ONE@
  • 1946 - The Doctors' Trial (for crimes committed during episodes of Doctor Who), begins at the BBC.
  • 1958 - The John Birch Society is founded to fight the perceived threat of certain types of trees.
  • 1960 - Coronation Street makes an unwanted appearance on British television for the first time.
  • 1967 - Canada invades Greenland, prompting what most historians regard as the most boring war in the history of mankind.
  • 1976 - The CIA fabricates much of the Western United States from Balsa wood and duct tape.
  • 1982 - December 8 outstays welcome.
  • 1984 - Miracle happens, six people amazed.
  • 1990 - Lieutenant Planet promoted to Captain. Cartoon capers ensue.
  • 2000 - Miracle fails to happen, thousands amazed.
  • 2005 - Yahoo! acquires del.icio.us, thousands amazed.
  • 2006 - Google acquires Uncyclopedia in retaliation. Nobody cares.
  • 2078 - With the use of the Large Hadron Collider, Man successfully divides by zero, resulting in a rip in the Space Time Continuum, thus ending the world. God said to be pissed.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

MonoLisa

DaVinci's Hewlett-Packard printer was to be the undoing of his most famous work, resulting in what art scholars have termed the "Mono Lisa."
Hewlett Packard were unavailable for comment as the CEO was busy discussing a merger with Ferrari to create the world's first petrol powered printer.
DaVinci is said to be in a closed door meeting with Dan Brown to discuss the implications of this event.

Image Credit: Nonymous
Vote on this image - Nominate new image - View all featured images

Recent Articles

Rick Perry.jpg

Neu! | Rick Perry (pictured) | Eastbourne | Bognor Regis (r/w) | Dwayne Johnson (r/w) | Jimmy Neutron (r/w) | Coin (r/w) | Vegan food | Count Dooku (r/w) | HowTo:Help the Green Party | Impressionism | Millennials | Georges Danton | Yaroslavl | Methodists | Cartoon Network (r/w) | Billy Joel (r/w) | Tim Berners-Lee | Saturday Night Fever | Anarchy | Theresa May | Tim Farron | Benedict Cumberbatch | Melania Trump | Courtney Love | Pokémon Go | Pets | Lapwing | Brexit | Glastonbury Festival


More recent articles | Most wanted pages | Requested rewrites | Add to stubs | Lonely pages | Pee Review | Try writing about... | Stuck articles needing a push | Great ideas

Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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