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Today's Featured Article -

Recently featured: Box-spring

Yesterday's Featured Article - Box-spring

Lost in bed

A box-spring (or divan in the UK, where they don't use such common vulgarities as box) is a type of bed base. These are generally designed to give the general approximation of comfort while in the store testing the bed, but are designed to cause discomfort from the moment of installation within a home.

The construction of these nominally entitled beds typically consist of a wooden frame, covered in dust mite friendly cloth, and containing what are referred to as bedsprings. These bedsprings are tested against several criterion, known colloquially as the "four c's". These are: (more...)

  • Clarity
  • Carat
  • Color (or colour in the UK, where extraneous vowels are the preferred norm).
  • Cut
  • Certificate
Most wire coils contain some inner flaws (or inclusions in the UK), that occur in the manufacturing process. Highly skilled manufacturers work on adding these in an extremely calculated manner. The purpose of these is to allow the bed to have an initial softness or "comfort" factor, but due to these inclusions the springs will quickly weaken, deform, snap, or generally just become completely screwed up. Hairline fractures hat occur laterally along the direction of the spring are highly sought (or "saught" in the UK), along with air bubbles in the spring itself.(more...)

Featured today, a long long time ago

Featured Why?:Is a Raven Like a Writing Desk? An Historical Perspective, featured on 3 September 2013. See the featured version.
UnNews:U.N. warns Syria to halt violence or face further warnings, featured on 3 September 2012. See the featured version.
Sun, featured on 3 September 2011. See the featured version.
Pointy Sticks, featured on 3 September 2010. See the featured version.

Did you know...

*...that if the earth were the size of an apple, we would fall off?

In the news

On this day...

September 3: International Festival of Frowning at Cows (Saskatchewan)
  • 447 B.C. - The word “fabulous” is invented by Plato.
  • 1189 - Richard the Lionhearted is crowned King of England at Westminster, followed by a successful reign consisting chiefly of lazing in the sun and ridding the British Isles of zebras.
  • 1783 - The American Revolutionary War comes to an end with the Treaty of Paris. While America wins, it concedes that Britain is still better than France.
  • 1939 - Adolf Hitler embarks on his global tour, performing to a sold-out crowd in Warsaw.
  • 1945 - Spoons were acquired by the known company, Tupperware.
  • 1974 - William Shatner discovers the world's largest known deposits of tiberium in his back garden.
  • 1971 - The day my Daddy died.
  • 2005 - Bob sits down for dinner, frowns at his overcooked steak.
Colonization of the Week
For the glory of her majesty
Help us clear the ivy of crap,
and plant the seeds of humour.

Today's featured picture

Thermopylae

Thermopylae was the top selling board game of the 5th Century BCE. Players compete to acquire wealth through stylized politico-economic activity involving the buying, rental, and trading of real estate using play drachma and bartering, whilst gathering groups of Perioikoi and Helots to work your land, as players take turns moving around the board according to the roll of the dice.

Image Credit: Mhaille
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Writer and Noob of the Month

Writer of the month
GlobalTourniquet wins Writer of the Month for September in the typical fashion of some prolific writer who has been abscent for 2 years only to return with bold, new ideas for their writing! It should also be noted apart from the fact he is back that he is talented in what he writes and he does a fine job managing UnNews. So hats off to GlobalTourniquet, may he bring many, exciting articles to Uncyclopedia!

Seriously, we love you.


Noobaward
Noob of the Moment is the award that all newbies want and Sinner George has pulled that off excellently (being the second Greek to have this award!) It should be mentioned that his username is deceptive, he is actually a very good George writing new master pieces and getting on well with the dynamics of Uncyclopedia. You should congratulate him on this prestigious honor.

Hats off to you George, may you bbe with us for many months years to come!


BePrepared
It is said last months winner has an ego comparable to Napoleon but both of these people are nothing compared to the ego of Frosty, as both winner of Uncyclopedian of the Month (second time!) and the writer of this update he will stain this section with vanity and how wonderful he is. Frosty is a wonderful Uncyclopedian, he is the best, he will crush you all. He has no time for the likes of you and he is the new administrator and unless you worship him he will take you on a free of charge trip on the banwagon!

HEIL FROSTY!



Vote for Writer of the Month | Vote for Noob of the Month | Vote for Uncyclopedian of the Month | Past Winners


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